We think it's really sweet that Badgley Mischka added a second dimension to the Bush twins when sketching out their gown designs.
Sensationally Dressed For The Inauguration [USA Today]

Our sincerest apologies to Fabian Basabe: we've been long operating under a total misapprehension that the sorta-erstwhile "It" boy was gay. Sorry, Fabian, we were wrong. You are not gay in the least. Rather, you are very, very straight—so much so that you've slapped a 4-carat diamond on the hand of your fianc , La Perla heiress Martina Borgomanero. You're so non-queer that you're even planning on eloping with her this weekend, at the supremely macho Casa de Campo resort in the never-gay Dominican Republic. So, we got it wrong. We're sorry. Give us a call after your remarkably hetero wedding night, and we'll take you out for a drink at the West Village bar of your choice.
Suzy [WWD]

Forget those played-out Balenciaga bags. A reader writes in with a tale that has us thinking our t-shirts just might be the "It" accessory of 2005:

It was only a matter of time before the fashionistas came to their pretty senses and realized last week's tragic tsunami also affected their community. After all, if that body-hugging metallic jersey gown wasn't made in Milan, it was probably made somewhere in Southeast Asia. But don't think that means the stylish saints are going to be insensitive about the heartbreaking losses. Fashion Wire Daily reports:

Since we're strict Gregorians, you won't see any 2004 wrap-ups by us until January because THE YEAR ISN'T OVER YET. Anything can happen before midnight tomorrow and the tsunami tragedy is a painful reminder. But, we do love the lists other people come up with and here are two for both parts of your brain: the one that loves pretty pictures of people and the other that has an attention span of more than ten minutes. Yes, we're talking about fashion and books.

Andy Towle gets a hold of the new Versace ad with Madonna (via A Socialite's Life) and imagines how she trained for the photo shoot.

We continue our practice of corralling guest-dissectors to pick the fur balls and Herringbones out of New York magazine's Look Book subjects. In this week's edition we are treated to Michael and Kathryn Cerussi, a corporate lawyer and former Glamour magazine exec from the early 80's. We haven't been this horrified by looking at a couple since the bath tub scene in Party Monster with Macaulay Culkin and Chlo Sevigny. Intern Alexis provides expert commentary by interviewing Tricia Romano of the Village Voice, Jon Boschetto who is a PhD candidate at Princeton, and Fleshbot Intern Matthew Schneier because no one else is around this week. All is revealed after the jump.

The piece of hideousness pictured above is the Alice Roi Appalachian Handbag (retailing at an inexplicable $300). We're not trying to make your corneas bleed so early in the week, but we're hearing that poor reporters all over the city are receiving this beastly accessory as a promotional holiday "gift" from the people behind chick-lit/toilet paper tome The Fashionista Files. Normally we don't pity anyone pulling in expensive freebies, but this is just hurtful for everyone. Don't they know it's Christmas time?!

DailyCandy, the email newsletter of choice for self-loathing fashionistas, introduces the ninth edition of their lexicon loaded with trendy and indispensible slang. For example:

The news is so horrifying, we almost threw up our salad in the middle of Fred's: fashionista heaven Barneys is just about to be purchased by the Jones Apparel Group. As in your mother's favorite brand, Jones New York. What, was Talbot's uninterested in making the purchase? Seeing as this is technically the gazillionth time Barneys has been "almost sold," we're not going to get too worked up just yet—but if they close the deal and Co-Op starts looking like Sears (Jones' retailer of choice), well, that just won't stand.
Jones Is Said To Be Near A Deal For Barneys [NYT]
Barneys Almost Bought [Gothamist]
[UPDATE: Done deal, Barneys is finally sold to the low-end Jones company. This better mean really good sales or something.]

As part of the continued homosexualization of New York magazine, allow us to point out the Look Book, in which (from what we can tell) intrepid reporters grab a well-to-do passerby who happens to be dressed ridiculously and then interview him/her about their "style." Um, while we're sure this week's subject, Josh Miller, is all fine and dandy with his ugly Coach bag, we certainly wouldn't do him. And what good is a magazine if it's not full of people you want to sleep with?

After years of diabolically creating Gucci-clad women with bunion problems, Tom Ford finally understands what a woman wants:

It's so hard to keep up with what the dirty, hip kids are wearing these days. When we're not staring at those 80s-looking boots that are almost cowboyish (but not quite), we're marveling at the girls who tuck their jeans INTO their boots, thus resembling an equestrian champ with a heroin habit. And then there's the almighty poncho, a befuddling concoction that can look either terrific or horrific, with no gray area for mistakes. It's a dangerous situation:

Everyone knows that the best thing about getting married has nothing to do with sharing your life with someone—it's getting those fancy serving trays and whatnot from your Barney's gift registry. The Observer reveals that Manhattan couples are intentionally returning said gifts for cash credit:

If we weren't so damn fixated with the mess that is stoned fashion designer Kimora Lee Simmons, we'd be critical of the Guardian's Observer magazine for devoting a ridiculously lengthy article to the one-trick bling pony. So, instead, we'll just zero in on Kimora herself, who drips in opulence and Kabbalah strings:

Legendary photographer Richard Avedon passed away this morning after suffering a brain hemorrhage while on assignment for The New Yorker last week. He was 81 and his art will, of course, be dearly missed. We want to be sensitive, but we totally blame editor David Remnick. It just seems like the right thing to do.
Photographer Richard Avedon Dies At 81 [AP]

Dammit, we hate it when pretty people don't get paid. Models Jessica Kuncl and Nic Bezuszka, 1st and 2nd place winners of an L.A. Looks contest for emaciated gorgeousness, have filed suit against New York Model Management, L.A. Models and Heinz Holba, fashionatrix and founder of the agencies. It seems the winners were offered $100K and $50K contracts but haven't been paid. Why not?

Today's new issue of New York examines the constant pressure women feel to stay svelte and how it affects pregnant New Yorkers, many of whom count calories to make sure they gain as little weight as possible during pregnancy:

There's nothing sexier than the smell of Cumming — especially if it has hints of whiskey and Scotch pine. Meet Cumming The Fragrance, the latest absurd venture from Scottish actor Alan Cumming:

Sorry for the slow Gawking, darlings, but my body went into shock from the exodus of fashionistas. Fashion Week has finally released our city from its atrophied grip: food will once again be in high demand, the cloud of cigarette smoke over Bryant Park will evaporate, and, most importantly, the alien models who have frightened us so will return to their gloomy closets to prepare their pasty visages for the next round of catwalk assaults. Meanwhile, the statistics for the average weight of New Yorkers is slowly on the rise.