The piece of hideousness pictured above is the Alice Roi Appalachian Handbag (retailing at an inexplicable $300). We're not trying to make your corneas bleed so early in the week, but we're hearing that poor reporters all over the city are receiving this beastly accessory as a promotional holiday "gift" from the people behind chick-lit/toilet paper tome The Fashionista Files. Normally we don't pity anyone pulling in expensive freebies, but this is just hurtful for everyone. Don't they know it's Christmas time?!