Having been pleasantly surprised that audiences were willing to shell out $1.99 on iTunes for the same shows they could watch on TV for free, ABC continued its Experimental Journey to the Future with a trial service that allowed internet users to save the two bucks in exchange for sitting through some online ads:
In a courageous legal action that may once and for all deliver the famous from being preyed upon by opportunistic paparazzi loitering outside trendy La Cienega starfucker eateries, Bruce Willis is suing the photographer who claimed the actor "stiff-armed" him on his way inside Koi on June 13. Anthony Goodrich, the paparazzo in question, offered a videotaped testimonial of his version of the events to TMZ.com. Days later, video of the actual event surfaced, revealing the "stiff-arming" to be more of an "accidental arm brushing," followed by a profuse apology from Willis. The suit, available on The Smoking Gun, claims Willis "merely raised his hands to shield his eyes from the flash of the cameras of the stalker-paparazzi," that Goodrich's claims were "false and defamatory," and that Willis is seeking damages in the amount of "no less than One Million Dollars." Or, in paparazzi terms, two clear pictures of proud daddy Brad Pitt dipping the Chosen One's footsies in the Pacific Ocean, or one photo of Teri Hatcher caught mid-bite in the act of cannibalism.
· Take advantage of our fine city's unparalleled opportunities for witnessing mid-level actors following their musical dreams by dropping by the Knitting Factory for the John Corbett Band's set. In non-celebrity music news, The Futureheads and French Kicks play the Henry Fonda, while Snow Patrol postpones its Wiltern show.
· Director Frank Coraci will stop by tonight's Reel Talk screening of Click at the Wadsworth Theater and entertain all of your questions about what you'd do if you had a universal remote that controlled Adam Sandler's career.
· If the Hollywood Glamour exhibition at the Clair Obscur Gallery, featuring classic photographs of Veronica Lake, Marlene Dietrich and Clark Gable, makes you think that the stars of yesteryear were far classier than the ones we have now, well, that's because they were.
Perhaps the only thrill bigger than that of finishing a hard-won second place at the box office is the fanciful capture of the all-time opening weekend record. Today's Variety features this huge parody ad touting the performance of Entourage's Spider-Man-squashing pseudoblockbuster, Aquaman, proving that even fictional talent must be sucked up to in the trades, lest they feel unappreciated and make their next fake movie with a competitor.
Employees over at Paramount, the Studio of Diminished Expectations, this morning received a cheery e-mail from their moviemaking overlords (pictured, or see a bigger version here) thanking them for their hard work for making Nacho Libre an unexpected Number Two—or, if you're the more charitable sort, the "number one live action comedy featuring Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler"—at the box office. Huzzah! No layoffs today!
· Apple is in negotiations with major studios to move iTunes into film, but the studios don't like Apple's plans to sell all movies for $9.99, wanting to maintain their ability to price "popular content" higher than run-of-the-mill, back-catalogue "crap." [Variety]
· Inside a recent pitch meeting at DreamWorks: "OK, think Groundhog's Day, but with Valentine's Day instead." "Sort of like Groundhog's Day, or exactly like Groundhog's Day?" "Exactly like it." "Sold!" [THR]
· Even World Cup soccer can't dampen the foreign moviegoer's appetite for boring blasphemy, as Da Vinci Code wins its fifth straight weekend at the international box office. [Variety]
· Game 5 of the NBA Finals leads ABC to victory over NBC's and its latest summertime schedule spackle, Treasure Hunters. (Go team Busty Grad Students!) [THR]
· Netflix reveals plans for a subscription-based film downloading box, which would help it compete with cable companies' VOD offerings as well as frustrate all but the most devious of movie-pilfering mail carriers. [Variety]
When celebrity smut peddler, David Hans "Sultan of Sleaze" Schmidt, stumbled upon his ultimate score—ownership of a repossessed storage locker full of Paris Hilton's personal crap—the affable kingpin was happy to share his plan to turn her stacks of childhood photographs, multi-volume bedroom conquest journals, and worn-out toys (sex and otherwise) into millions of dollars. It would appear Schmidt has no takers yet, however, as the NY Daily News reports that he ambushed Hilton recently by waiting in line at a Macy's to buy an $80 bottle of her Skank de Toilette and get an autographed photo. It was all a pretense, however, to give him the opportunity to offer to sell her the booty back:
Perhaps finding the process of biological birth too frightening and physically taxing, Angelina Jolie has announced that the next addition to her multicultural brood will once again come via adoption. But while her earlier selections of Cambodian and Ethiopian refugees were clearly impulse buys made during her many missions of peace as a goodwill ambassador for the U.N., she and Brad Pitt will put greater care into their next choice:
Back in 1997, Disney angered some of its fans by making the outlaw buccaneers in its popular Pirates of the Caribbean ride less rapey, altering it so that its horny bandits were chasing a meal instead of terrified wench tail. Today's LAT reports that the Most Synergistic Place on Earth has once again run afoul of purists by cynically inserting characters from their blockbuster Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise into the attraction; predictably, Disney officials defend the cross-promotional move as organic and What Walt Would Have Wanted:
While Britney Spears admirably recognized her shortcomings as a parent by hiring some much-needed back-up, she apparently has not yet had the same light bulb moment about her inability to publicly manage her image. Anyone who watched Spears' weepy, disheveled collapse under Dateline Grand Inquisitor Matt Lauer's pummeling questions will probably not be too surprised to discover that the event was not managed by her long-suffering publicists. Says Page Six:
Bow before the sacred numbers that the box office gods have provided for us on this holy Monday morning:
· The tale of Daryl Hannah and The Walnut Tree has an unsatisfying ending. Be sure to see the movie, though, and read the epilogue.
· When it comes to the Miracle Baby, ask, and ye shall receive.
· Britney Spears can sob, complain about her lack of privacy, and chew gum, all at the same time! And that's not her only multitasking talent. Mel Gibson, however, remains unimpressed.
· Jim Carrey can't seem to get a movie greenlit anymore...Believe It or Not!
· Jenna Elfman teaches us that eating babies is gay.
· We're just praying we never see Roger Ebert in boxing trunks.
· The next hot Hollywood profession is "cause stylist," keeping their celebrity clients in the most fashionable concerns.
· Superman's hung like a lightswitch compared to Screech.
· Star Trek: Hidden Frontier's continuing mission: To explore strange new worlds... and look fabulous doing it!
· Brian Grazer turns into a swinging single Dr. Jekyll at Hyde.
· Vin Diesel strikes a pose.
· Forbes gets its math wrong.
· The Most Uncomfortable Embrace of the Week Award was won going away by Paramount Classics/Vantage head John Lesher at the Nacho Libre premiere, who couldn't even be bothered to put down his cellphone, Mexican-wrestler-head-on-a-stick, and an unidentified piece of paper while awkwardly clenching Paramount president Gail Berman. A truly disappointing effort from the industry's onetime Master of Hugs.
· Celebrities: They just can't stop reproducing!
· Reuters will certainly be hearing from Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields about this highly inappropriate, suggestive headline: Tom Cruise to take the bullet train — all of it. Filthy, just filthy.
· Sharon Stone is better at getting naked than producing, according to grumpy Kids director Larry Clark.
· Angelina Jolie discovers that actually giving birth is much more frightening than just picking up a refugee at the orphan store.
Friday
· Eight brave bloggers (including longtime blogstar and well-rounded famous person Wil Wheaton) will hop on stage at Improv Olympic and read from their favorite posts for "Subject Line Here," an event to benefit the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. And yeah, now that participant Paul Davidson mentions it, it is a little scary that they all have headshots.
· Friday night music round-up: The Fiery Furnaces at the Henry Fonda; Radio 4 at the Troubadour; The Spores at Spaceland.
· FOUND magazine's accidental archivists bring their Cavalcade of Thrills Tour to Skylight Books. Will people never learn to shred their old love letters and obscene Post-It notes to idiot co-workers?
Saturday
· The Hammer hosts the 24 Hour Armageddon Movie Marathon, a "non-stop, 24-hour screening" of disaster films like The Omega Man, Dawn of the Dead, and The Day After. After the first ten hours, you may be freaked out enough to sneak off to the bathroom for some end-of-the-world sex.
· Artist Shepard "Obey Giant" Fairey signs Supply & Demand: The Art of Shepard Fairey at the MOCA.
Sunday
· It's Father's Day, and your Dad is probably old enough to remember what Robert DeNiro was like before Analyze That and Meet the Fockers, so why not take him to a double-feature of Raging Bull and GoodFellas at the New Beverly?
· Many Dads also love jazz and naked ladies, so you can take him to Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl if he's not that into De Niro anymore.
Former Friends star/brave lil' Broadway sailor David Schwimmer has triumphed against a crooked celebrity fundraising event organizer, who claimed Schwimmer had been bribed with "two gold Rolex watches worth $26,413" in exchange for attending a charity event. Schwimmer categorically denied the accusation, and now has the full backing of the law to support that:
Your answers to this week's guessing game are in, and they're going to shake the entire blind item industry to its very core. But before you move on to your cataclysm-beckoning guesses, bone up on One Diva-Damning Blind Vice:
