· Harry Potter takes in a huge $190.3 million at the international box office in its opening weekend, but the haul still leaves it behind Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Still, Warner Bros. should be able to crank out a passable trade paper ad touting the result as the Best Overseas Opening Weekend of All Time* (*For Fifth Installments Of Franchises Based On Best-Selling Children's Books About A Wizard Academy) [Variety]
· Though Volkswagen executives have been underwhelmed by the results of their product placement deal with NBC Universal, they seem happy with the Touareg 2's upcoming Bourne Ultimatum cameo as The Official Getaway Vehicle of the World's Deadliest Amnesiac Spies, an identification that should help capture the attention of a market segment that has long eluded them. [THR]
· Sicko performs well after expanded release, though the Weinstein Co. would like you to compare the movie to Bowling for Columbine, not his record-setting documentary Fahrenheit 9/11, because global terrorism is an inherently sexier topic than health care reform. Seems fair to us. [Variety]
· THR breaks down the WGA/AMPTP negotiations into three easy-to-understand, likely phases: 1. "Paris peace talks"; 2. The acknowledgment of differences about difficult issues; 3. Fisticuffs, tears, and the total eradication of Hollywood life as we know it. [THR]
· Confronted with the choice of watching a new episode of Big Brother or reruns of Law & Order and Desperate Housewives, viewers make the difficult choice to spend an hour with CBS's scheming houseguests. [Variety]

Enjoy flipping through this slideshow show celebrating the ravages of age twentieth anniversary of The Princess Bride, including several deeply buried clues pointing you to the whereabouts of Criminal Minds salary holdout and/or abductee, Mandy Patinkin. [abcnews.go.com]

The Smoking Gun reports that authorities on the East Coast intercepted a shipment of 400,000 ecstasy pills from Europe, including the "Harry Potters," pictured above, embossed with the familiar logo of the current title holder of Biggest Movie Star in the World. Perhaps the developing wizard has outgrown Every Flavour Beans in favor Bertie Bott's Dopamine-Draining Rave-y Good Time Pills, explaining how the affable Harry of previous chapters has been replaced by the horny and depressive one currently grinding his teeth and marveling at the fluffiness of Cho Chang's Hogwart's uniform sweater in Order of the Phoenix.

If you watch only one video of a vicious catfight taking place in the parking lot of a Hollywood club today, make sure it's this TMZ clip of the melee at Les Deux on Saturday night, where indiscriminately aimed bitch-slaps could have proved far more deadly than any drive-by gunfire outside of Teddy's. While the part where one of the combatants loses her top is nice, the footage's highlight is easily the moment when a lucky fight fan claims a freshly liberated hair extension as a souvenir of the ritualistic actress-scalping he's just witnessed.

Prospects had looked bleak for Grey's Anatomy shitcannee Isaiah Washington, who seemed all but certainly headed for the dinner theater circuit, where the mercurial actor would live out the remainder of his career silencing talkative audience members by climbing down from the stage to personally stuff an olive roll into their mouths. Credit the infectious positivity and counterintuitive vision of NBC co-chairman/rock-star Ben Silverman, then, for seeing in Washington a skilled and appealing actor, where lesser network heads might have merely seen a litany of choking-related lawsuits. Reports USA Today:

Is Svengali acting coach Milton Katselas's Beverly Hills Playhouse a first-rate drama school or secret Scientology intake center? Think Fame, but where the old guy with the beard is an OTV. [NY Times]

The Entourage crew is really committed to the gag that Medellin, star Vinnie Chase's attempt to revive his post-Aquaman career by portraying Pablo Escobar as the Colombian Tony Clifton, is a real movie, establishing a site where you can watch the trailer. Unfortunately, the $30 million that Chase procured to produce his dream project seems to have resulted in a product that will likely be dumped to Showtime following a poor reception at Cannes. [MedellinTheFilm.com]

Having already dispensed with two trips to rehab before her 21st birthday, it seemed like only a matter of time before precocious trainwreck Lindsay Lohan would find herself in either a sex tape or naked-photo scandal (apparently, those "chilling," vaguely bicurious knifeplay pics were just a sign of less-clothed images to come), the always-reliable, low-impact way to keep one's name in tabloid headlines for days at a time. Today's Page Six reports that Lohan may be the victim of a shakedown by a blog taunting her via IM (the preferred extortion tool of the MySpace generation) with the possibility it has nudie pics snapped by boyfriend-for-a-minute Callum Best:

On this most magical of Monday mornings, carefully remove your wizard's robe, drape it over the back of your desk chair, and begin your week of toiling for Hollywood's version of Lord Voldemort by taking a tour of the weekend's box office numbers:

· It's Becksmania! Posh denies the existence of Mr. Sparkles. David makes the Mayor feels less pretty. CAA's Assistant Task Force is dispatched to the stairwells to give their most valuable new client a hero's welcome.
· Ben Silverman's enthusiasm continues to infect NBC, and the guy he squeezed out finds a new home at Fox.
· Cavemen producers ordered to reinvent the wheel.
· WGA StrikeWatch: Threat-level elevated.
· The Captivity party is the most outrageous thing Hollywood has seen since what one commenter dubbed John Waters' gay macaroni suit.
· Live Earth fizzled, but don't blame Cameron Diaz. She did her part.
· Paramount drones are already frolicking at the beach, thanks to Optimus Prime and friends.
· We are not amused. But not that not amused.
· Paris Hilton is a social person.
· Chinese Theater Chewbacca falls victim to the seven-year itch (probably costume-related).
· ABC Family's Greek is totally not welcome at this weekend's Gamma Gamma Phi kegger, guys.
· Now you can own a throne fit for a Trump.
· In Rosie O'Donnell's hands, a Sharpie is a deadly weapon. (So is a zebra-skin rug.)
· Mandy Patinkin overestimates CBS's commitment to staying in the Mandy Patinkin business.

· "I can answer that with three letters: N-B-C. Very, very good writing team. Very, very good cast. The network fucked it up because they intervened endlessly. If you really want a job to work, don't get Jeff Zucker's team to come help you because they're not funny ...." [Note: This is a (slightly) revised transcription of the quote reported by TV Week that we originally posted.]
· Courtney Love is looking better than ever.
· Is there actually a Transformers fan insane enough to bid $40,000 on a prop, or is some prankster interfering with eBay's invisible hand of commerce?
· "I really want to do a different take on the celebrity interview. The last thing I want to see is Nicole Kidman talking about what movie she's going to be in. I want to talk to Nicole Kidman's neighbor about what's going on with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban when he's pretending not to drink." That's admirable and all, but the big question for Chelsea Lately's Chelsea Handler: Will even Kidman's neighbor be willing to slum it on an 11:30pm show on E!?

Sad news, indeed: Ed Limato, fierce protector of disgraced movie stars and legendary thrower of extravagant Oscar pre-parties, and longtime agency partner ICM have begun the painful, messy process of ending their relationship of nearly two decades. Reports DHD's Nikki Finke on the announcement of the split she promises will be "a mess":

NY Magazine's Vulture blog is trying to shame go-to box office quotewhore Paul Degarabedian into giving less insipid copy. Good luck, guys! [Vulture]

Friday
· Music round-up: The 88 are at the Troubadour, The Icarus Line are at El Cid, David Vandervelde is at Spaceland, and Henry Gummer is at Hotel Café.
· Filter magazine presents a CD release party for Interpol's "Our Love To Admire" at the Natural History Museum. It features DJ sets from the band's Sam Fogarino and Paul Banks.
· The Brick + Mortar gallery presents a reception for the opening of a show by graffiti artist Jaber.

This must be an utterly exhausting day for David Beckham, the man sent by God to Los Angeles to punish it for its celebrity-worshipping sins. Earlier, his presence was required at a mass-fellating ceremony in Carson, an experience that would leave even the most formidably priapic of stars completely spent. Later, he was to be shuttled to Century City for a meeting with the evil agenting monolith he's chosen to represent his Hollywood interests, where a surprise reacharound by scores of his new best friends awaited. Reports the Defamer Special Correspondent on Can Someone Explain Why The Hell We're All Crammed Into This Fucking Stairwell on a 90-Degree Day?:

We've run a number of short items over the past few days about a back injury sustained by Phyllis Diller (who turns 90 on Tuesday—happy birthday, Phyllis!), teasingly inferring the ruptured disk was in fact an excuse made up by the stand-up veteran to avoid having to follow through on a Tonight Show commitment. We realize, however, that some of our feeble attempts at humor can sometimes be misinterpreted as fact—who wouldn't, after all, consider faking an illness in order to avoid an onslaught of Jay Leno's stale Paris Hilton jokes—and so we'd like to now cede the floor to Ms. Diller's personal manager Milt Suchin, who sent us an e-mail clarifying the matter:

The euphoric, citywide buzz accompanying today's official welcoming of David Beckham, Los Angeles's newest tabloid superstar (who's expected to lead the league in magazine covers and gossip column inches, even though he's ostensibly in his declining scandal years), was dampened when embattled mayor Antonio Villaraigosa took to the podium and was showered with boos by an angry throng. Unfortunately, the video feed was cut off immediately after Villaraigosa handed the Galaxy star his framed Certificate of Pre-Recognition of Future Charitable Works, depriving us footage of the ensuing riot in which constituents stormed the dais, tossed the politician from the stage, and installed the wildly popular Beckham as our new mayor.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you noticed Faye Dunaway meditating between screenings at the Sunset 5.

Ah, Friday afternoon. Do you know that goes great with the happy hour cocktail that will kick off your weekend? That's right: the glimmer of hope provided by a listing for a great new job. Hit the Defamer Job Board and get yourself that career-upgrade chaser.

Join us as we come clean and admit that those nasty whispers about our alleged sexual involvement with this week's sponsors are totally, deliciously true. We're hot for them, and we don't care who knows it! If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and bask in our shame-free devotion, see this page.