· The TV Academy continues cracking down on "the rampant proliferation of the producer credit" by capping comedy series Emmy nominations at 11 and drama nods at 10 for a second straight year. How bad had things gotten? "Business affairs execs and studios were giving people producing credits just because they could," says one nameless Academy official. This outrage ends now. [Variety]
· The Toronto Film Festival officially surrenders to Hollywood. [THR]
· We hate to do this after just one episode, but when the trades are throwing around words like "dismal" to describe a new show's ratings, the CancellationWatch must begin: Fox's Anchorwoman draws only 2.7 million viewers and a 1.0 rating in the 18-49 demographic, less than half of the numbers pulled by competition on NBC and CBS. [Variety]
· Buy your tickets now: Rosie O'Donnell will be opening the New York Comedy Festival. You won't want to miss what she's got planned for that giant photo Elizabeth Hasselbeck this time! [THR]
· In a much-clamored-for reunion of Shrek the Third castmates, Justin Timberlake is joining the cast of Mike-Myers-doing-a-funny-accent-comedy Love Guru. [Variety]

TMZ is the bearer of breaking good news for any troubled, three-time rehabber who, while in the thrall of the SUV-jacking demons of Addiction, suddenly finds his or herself wearing someone else's coke-pants in a parking lot full of Santa Monica cops: Lindsay Lohan will not be charged with any felonies in conjunction with her DUI/cocaine possession arrest and Memorial Day meltdown, as a surprisingly compassionate DA has decided to file a mere seven misdemeanor charges against the sometime actress. A source explains to TMZ:

In just moments, TV producing legend Vin di Bona, who built his America's Funniest Home Videos empire upon thousands of hours of viewer-submitted footage of frail grandmothers tumbling from porch swings and fortuitously camcorded incidents of unexpected testicle trauma, will receive a star on Hollywood Blvd.'s Walk of Fame.

While we're sure the 22-page waiver (just posted on the Smoking Gun) the parents and guardians of Kid Nation participants had to sign prior to shipping off their children to 40 fun-filled days in a New Mexico ghost town is nothing more than a boilerplate document that could be used to indemnify the proprietors of any summer camp that intended to film its own amateur production of Lord of the Flies against nuisance lawsuits, scanning the litany of potential disasters lawyers could envision befalling the Nation stars still makes for a pretty good time.

The above-referenced alternative programming "zag," as you may already have figured out by watching the embedded clip, is NBC's just-announced plan to resurrect early 90s reality competition American Gladiators to caulk one of the inevitable cracks in its midseason schedule.

If you hate women, men, Texas, Los Angeles, television news and any of the social progress made by Americans in the 20th century, then "Anchorwoman" is the show for you.

Power-lunchers, beware: If you're going to try and cut a deal at Pizzera Mozza at lunchtime, you're going to need to shout loud enough to overcome factory-level noise to be heard. Then again, you could probably just Blackberry over whatever you need to say to the person sitting across the table. [The Knife]

· Music round-up: Yeah Yeah Yeahs at the Mayan; Stars of Track and Field at the Troubadour; Aimee Mann at Largo.
· Author David Rosen reads from I Just Want My Pants Back, a novel of post-coital denim reclamation, at Book Soup. (Actually, it's at Pi on Sunset, the restaurant next door.)
· At the ArcLight, director Nadia Conners, producer Brian Gerber, and TreePeople founder Andy Lipkis will be on hand for a panel following a screening of eco-doc The 11th Hour. Narrator Leo DiCaprio is not scheduled to attend, just in case you were hoping he'd put in an appearance.

[UPDATE; A rep from ABC says the network had nothing to do with the shoot. Details here.] Since last month's contentious TCA panel in which some TV critics accused Cavemen, the upcoming ABC sitcom/race parable that will change the face of integrated primetime auto-insurance advertising, of being a little too preoccupied with hilariously deconstructing the tired stereotypes of just one group, we haven't really had an occasion to think about the much-anticipated series. This afternoon, however, a Defamer operative's lunchtime brush with the network's hard-working Cro-Magnons has once again drawn our attention to the ambitious project. Reports our Special Correspondent on Promotional Neanderthal Encounters:

Rest easy—all is well at Birkhead Manor, even if Us Weekly's cover story on Anna Nicole Smith's last living heir somewhat disconcertingly crops daddy Larry out of the picture. (At least we're hoping those disembodied hands are Larry's, and not Tony Potts placing the one-year-old in a duffel bag for transportation to a contractually mandated appearance at Access Hollywood's studios.) And while the "$472 million baby" may tragically never get to meet her mommy, Dannielynn will at least be able to experience her through the multimedia shrine her father has erected in Anna Nicole's honor:

Celebrity-child-welfare watchdog group TMZ.com is concerned that the Cox-Arquettes are flouting Hawaiian water safety laws by not properly outfitting daughter Coco with an approved PVD while kayaking. At the very least, we expect that their selfless intervention in this matter will result in the immediate purchase of a pair of water wings for the tyke. [TMZ]

An excerpt from Seth Rogen's high schoo yearbook blurb, as scanned by a classmate: "Ever since I started earning more than my own teachers, everything kind of fell into perspective...I am accepting of the fact that I very may well never have another job and in time may have to burn this very yearbook to keep warm, however, right now, if feelin' good were a train, I'd be the engineer." [ONTD via BWE]

A sampling of things that are sexy, according to an unscientific poll of randomly selected famous people: men; women, in "a different kind of way"; good skin; Paul Newman; little moments alone; naked men carrying leopards down Melrose; the small of Rebecca Gayheart's back. (Note: we may or may not have added one of our own.) [Instyle.com/CNN]

During Tuesday's moving finale of the NBC hit (we're trying to make up for missing the event by slowly reconstructing it through YouTube clips), judge David Hasselhoff offered a brave performance of his Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical's "This is the Moment," knowing in his heart that the larynx-eroding effects of too many wild nights of drunken, camcorded floorburger parties might prevent him from delivering a single note in its intended key. Still, Hoff belted on, nearly collapsing from the exertion necessary to execute the song's lung-bursting finish. Fuck America, Hasselhoff's triumphant expression seems to declare as he sustains a final, strangled note, I've got all the talent you need right here.

We were just noting how it's a bit of a wackier day than normal in Defamerland—what with the Gay Pride float oracles, acupuncture needles on the red carpet, and Swedish golf cart joy rides—when what should appear in our inbox but a series of truly glorious and mind-boggling photographs, taken not but an hour ago on Melrose by a highly placed operative. Yes, that is a completely naked man, strolling down the street with a leopard flung around his neck. Our witness explains:

Since On the Lot somehow survived all the way to its finale despite running on Nielsen fumes for 13 weeks, we thought you might like to know whom Steven Spielberg anointed as the next him. We hate to say we knew it, but we always had a feeling that Lucky Penny would carry him right into his own DreamWorks office. [TheLot.com]

· Hollywood Out of Directors: "Dimension Films has set a November 26 start date for Comeback, an inspirational sports drama that Ice Cube will star in and produce. Fred Durst will direct." [Variety]
· 13.9 million viewers tuned in to watch The Hoff declare the guy with his hand up a turtle puppet's ass the Most Talented Man in America. [THR]
· FX greenlights Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy's transsexual drama 4 oz., but since the pitch was bought in the room by president John Landegraf, the central tranny's vocation has been changed from sportswriter to gynecologist. (Was it originally too close to the story of the LAT's Mike Penner/Christine Daniels?) Murphy ambitiously envisions his protagonist's journey from male ladydoctor to lady ladydoctor to unfold over four seasons. [Variety]
· A study claims that people's internet-time is now rivaling their TV-time, a finding that the studios will do their best to ignore during their fight with the various guilds over online residuals. [THR]
· Joey Fatone is trying to become TV Guide Channel's budget-friendly answer to Ryan Seacrest. [Variety]

But could anyone better sum up the competition's 60-seat-Vegas-showroom essence than last night's winner, ventriloquist-impressionist hybrid Terry Fator? We think not. Now $1 million richer, Fator's twenty, long years traveling the bumpy show business backroads have finally paid off. (If you're skeptical of his celebrated talents, we invite you to marvel at Winston the Turtle channeling Roy Orbison above.) America's ventriloquists, so long the bottom-feeders of the post-Vaudeville entertainment world, can finally hold their heads up high, just as soon as they're done cursing the fact that the best impression they can muster sounds something like Robin Williams doing Jack Nicholson eating a sandwich.

While we've always envisioned Sweden as an idyllic place where American actors can go to play a few rounds of golf, throw back some cocktails at the 19th Hole, and then take a leisurely, low-speed joyride through the city without being hassled by The Människa, the news that Bill Murray was pulled over in downtown Stockholm on Sunday for suspicion of drunken golf-cart driving has shattered our cherished illusions about the permissiveness of the Scandinavian nation. A spokesman for the Swedish fuzz remarked on Murray's refusal to take a Breathalyzer and about the unknown origin of his slow-moving electric vehicle: