As Jimmy Fallon hones his chops in a digital broom closet at NBC.com, he can take comfort in knowing at least one influential tastemaker is behind his late show efforts one hundred percent:

Whether you're a handsome benefactor or simply a curious reader, our list of the biggest, most-viewed stories Defamer published this year has something for everyone. Mysteries! Nudity! Hasselbeck! Won't you take a look?

Ensnared in a vicious battle over 23 cents per customer, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Daily Show, South Park and the rest of Viacom's cable offerings may vanish tonight for 13 million Time Warner subscribers.

2008 was a banner year for celebrity deaths, beginning with the most shocking—Heath Ledger—and ending with the sound of a single, melancholy meow echoing across a cloudy night sky.

Kathy Griffin isn't just a frequent subject of our fair site—she's also a Defamer reader. And so, who better for us to interview to help make sense of the crazy Hollywood year that was 2008?

· Wow. If Bubba can do that to a burrito, just imagine how quickly he could wolf down an abandoned newborn. This mutt's got a future at CAA. [via BoingBoing]

MTV recently announced that the network would emphasize shows featuring "affirmation and accomplishment." This is why it launched new programs yesterday featuring testosterone-ridden douchenozzles and a girl who doesn't work. So how did they fare?

· The Marshall Tucker Band play the House of Blues, Gipsy Kings at The Conga Room, and Akon does whatever it is Akon does at Club Nokia.

In a year where so much went wrong for Dane Cook—vagina-faced flops, dog poop lawsuits, and the public ire of Molly McAleer—at least the comedian could rely on his family. Or, maybe not!

We have exciting year-end news for anyone tired of Gawker Media's steady encroachment upon your Defamer-savoring experience: We're breaking free from the mothership!

There's still not much to report from the front lines of World War Watchmen, where a smattering of fire today has nevertheless nudged half a million angry refugee fanboys into comics-genre exile.

Has the comedy world learned nothing from the time it angered Brooke Shields with jokes about a freshly-dead Estelle Getty? Apparently not, since it now falls to Twilight star Robert Pattinson to cry, "Too soon!"

12/26 — M. EMMET WALSH trying pho for the first time at Pho Show last night in Culver City. He looked like he came straight from the ranch in a large blue buffalo plaid flannel shirt. I would've been disappointed if he had been in a suit. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

There is not much new programming this week, but after Monday night's Bromance caused our liver to produce bile at an elevated rate, we need something safe and chalky to soothe our TV tummies.

Join us in looking back at the trends, names, faces, places and unhinged absurdity that made our Defamer Decides 2008 coverage an unparalleled historical record of American presidential politics at its finest.

When the NYPD looks at the Jonas Brothers, they see something far more ominous than a fraternal trio of virginally delicious pop stars: They see a NYE riot at the Crossroads of the World.

Today brought news in two murder cases: the death of Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, and the mysterious shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott.

· The Flight of the Conchords Season 2 premiere has logged 250,000 hits since premiering ten day ago on FunnyOrDie.com, 247,000 of which all came from the disconcertingly named domain, "JemaineBretSoccerMomSandwich." [THR]

The accompanying video really requires no comment beyond a statement of its simple, almost otherworldly concept: Andy Warhol interviews Steven Spielberg. On a hotel bed. Bianca Jagger looks on. And something is swallowed.

12/28 — That dude (GARY DOURDAN) from CSI who got busted for drugs. He was at Maxfield trying on a hat and a jacket... but he was spinning around in the jacket and tipping his hat like Justin Timberlake... looked like a total douchebag and was REALLY loud in the store so people would pay attention. Alas, the sales were so good that no one did and he left. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]