When the NYPD looks at the Jonas Brothers, they see something far more ominous than a fraternal trio of virginally delicious pop stars: They see a NYE riot at the Crossroads of the World.

Looking to avoid a future of Rudy Giuliani stump-speeches cluttered with references to "never forgetting the nightmares of 1/1," the NYPD has begun making the appropriate preparations in anticipation of the hormone-tweaking musical phenomenon's New Year's Eve performance in Times Square:

The New York Police Department – which has heroically handled terrorist attacks, blackouts and riots without a whimper – is being cautious over the "mob scene" that could result when the Jonas Brothers perform in Times Square at Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve with Ryan Seacrest on Wednesday night.

"So they're now planning on using extra [security] men for support," the source says. "It's going to be crazy because everyone will be in Times Square to watch them perform on the show."

Of course, no amount of training can really prepare the men in blue for the epic anarchy that follows these boys wherever they go. Don't be surprised if Altamont-style mayhem ensues, as one of the Hell's Angels security detail is stabbed repeatedly in the eyes with a barrette by a banshee tween who'd leaped onto their shoulders from the roof of a firetruck for a closer view of the stage.