Boerum Hill celebrity mascot Michelle Williams maybe isn't taking her ex's rebounding with Helena Christensen too well: She's getting all para on the F train! Says an observer: "I felt someone's eyes on me and it was her and then she looked away like I had been the one staring. Then she moved further down the car like I was going to attack her. Then when we both got off at our stop, she ran out like the devil was on her heels. She even looked back to see if I was behind her! Since when did Asian girls become scary?" Actually, since "The Grudge"?

"Saw Victoria Beckham at 5:10 p.m. today. She was exiting a building at 56th/5th where some big name fashion companies have offices. Not a fan at all but she looked 1,000 times better in person. Pig nose didn't look so piggy, she was rail thin and very striking. Her slip was showing though. People in the recessed building entrance discretely gawked but no one said anything which was cool. She had a security guard and a frumpy looking assistant and entered a black SUV." It has always been our dream that VB looks better in person, and today, that dream came true!

"Saw Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon at tonight's performance of 'King Lear' at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. On the way out, overheard her complaining about why Tim hadn't spoken to an usher in advance so they could avoid having to exit with the crowd. She's really a woman of the people. Che would be proud. Ian McKellen was also there. But he was playing Lear."

From the mailbag, we learn that Michelle Williams is still working through the pain of her breakup with Heath Ledger—now she's in the dangerous "wild Williamsburg nights with her daughter's godmother" stage. Says a stalker: "Went to the Modest Mouse concert last night and after proceeded to go to Enid's diner, a local bar and hangout that attracts the likes of hipsters, skateboarders, etc. [Ed. Note: Indeed.] As we were going out the front door to smoke I caught sight of Michelle Williams sitting with a group of friends including Busy Phillips, former castmate on "Dawson's Creek" (Joeys college roommate) sitting at the corner table near the entrance. Michelle looked very tiny but very cute with her pixie brown hair. Busy Phillips was a slut and made out with my friends ex boyfriend. Other than that they were pretty cool."

From the mailbag:

After our post went up with the information that Hills "stars" Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port were in town for Fashion Week, a reader reported that Lauren was spotted at Joe's Pizza in Greenwich Village this weekend, "I think Monday." Also: Lauren "had a very large hickey she wasn't hiding, but perfect make-up and eyeliner." And a black quilted leather Chanel tote bag, and a billowy white sundress. Very interesting. The photos follow.

Saw Jill Sobule Gah! Sorry. Joan Osbourne! and her adorable tyke at a cafe on the corner of Hoyt and State this morning. Um, what if God had a ton of Botox?

God, they weren't kidding about poor Mischa Barton moving to Jersey. Last night, from the mailbag: "Mischa Barton at A&P supermarket in Jersey City right now... she is buying stacks of Lunchables snack packs." We wrote back: "OH COME ON." Stalker: "True! She's with an older woman... her mother maybe?" Youch.

From the mailbag: "Just saw Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and little James Wilkie outside near Charles Street & West 4th. Sarah looked great but her nanny was a bitch. They all pulled up in the family Blue Volvo stationwagon; Sarah, Matthew, James and the "lady" all went inside. Then 5 minutes later the alleged nanny walked out carrying James, and then asked me to come over. She asked me what I was doing, and I tried to be polite and I just said that I was a fan. And then she was like why don't you just keep going. And then I said that I would rather not, and then she said that I was just like the other scum photographers, and then she said this was private property. So I said actually it's a public street. And then she said "She isn't going to be happy." And then she went inside with James and one minute later I saw Sarah peek outside to see me from behind a curtain in an upstairs window! I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!"

Spotted at the Savoy, at Prince and Crosby, at a corner table: New Yorker scribe and pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell. Hair no longer in trademark frizz, but cut down rather short—a few curls still evident, though. Wearing shorts and... navy blue Crocs. Now that's one shoe that's 100 percent beyond the tipping point. Also! It has now been 222 days since his last blog post.

From the mailbag: "honestly, i hate to even egg these girls on, but i just saw lauren conrad and the other blonde girl from 'the hills' and a brunette one as well, in the elevator at conde. they were all talking about paparazzi, of course. got off on the teen vogue floor where a camera crew was waiting. gag."

From the mailbag: "Saw a glimpse of Nicole Richie at the French pastry shop on Spring Street by Lafayette, next to Gatsby's — continuing her eating in public campaign. Couldn't see the outfit or who she was with because the front of the shop was mobbed by about 100 onlookers. Why is she famous?" Yeah, we can't remember???

From the mailbag: "Nicole Richie at patisserie on Spring Street in SoHo. Mass chaos is ensuing. It appears that now she is actually eating." (We're assuming location is either Balthazar or Ceci-Cela.)

In this jingly, tingly edition of the stalk: Brandon Davis and Paris Hilton, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prince Jr, Elisha Cuthbert & Jesse Bradford, Matt McConaughey, Alec Baldwin, Anderson Cooper, Hillary Clinton, Molly Shannon, Jon Stewart, Amy Sedaris, Matthew Broderick and James Wilkie, Keanu Reeves, Ethan Hawke, Kyra Sedgewick, Cisco Adler, Hillary Swank, Clint Eastwood, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Ron and Cheryl Howard, Peter Dinklage, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Justin Chatwin, George Hamilton, and a, uh, "kind of attractive" Mike Meyers.

In this edition of the Stalk: Alec Baldwin, a whole lotta Angelina and Brad, Ewan McGregor and Renee Zellweger, Anderson Cooper and Jake Shears, Michael Stipe, Chris Martin, Helena Christiansen, James Iha, Naveen Andrews, Tim Robbins, Sufjan Stevens, Warren Beatty, Tracy Morgan, Julia Stiles, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, Peter Dinklage, James Frey, Will Forte, Cynthia Nixon, Gloria Vanderbilt, John Voight, Will Patton, Hal Sparks, Owen Kline, Bruce McCulloch, Sam Seaborn, and Rosie O'Donnell.

In this short-n-sweet edition of The Stalk: Andy Samberg, Chris Parnell, Kevin Nealon, Mike Myers, Dave Chappelle, Peter Dinkage, Lenny Kravitz and Shawn Wayans, John Hodgman, Adrian Grenier, Matthew Broderick, Molly Sims, Moby, Diane Von Furstenburg, Huey Lewis, and, uh, Rep. Dick Gephardt.

In this highly informational edition of old-school Stalk: Leonardo Dicaprio, Mischa Barton, Alec Baldwin, Claire Danes and Moby, Derek Jeter, Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth, Lauren Bush, Gina Gershon, Andereson Cooper, Adrian Grenier, Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, Shawn Wayans, Ben Affleck, Mandy Moore, George Soros, Kate Bosworth, Christopher Walken, Jimmy Fallon, Tatum O'Neal, Al Sharpton, and Fabian Basabe.

In this lite, carb-free edition of the old-fashioned style stalk: Monica Lewinsky, Parker Posey, Michelle Williams, Hugh Jackman, Barbara Bush (the twin), Julianne Moore, Kate Bosworth, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ethan Hawke, Jamie Fox, Andre 3000, Anderson Cooper, Helen Mirren and Taylor Hackford, Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky, Tim Robbins, Mos Def, Demetri Martin, Joss Stone, Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs, Malcolm Gladwell, the 'Toos, Jimmy Fallon, Adrian Grenier, Hulk Hogan, John Leguizamo, Goldie Hawn, Maury Povich and Connie Chung.

In this old-school, TGIF-edition of the Stalk: George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh, Natalie Portman and Jason Drake, Jude Law, Renee Zellweger, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Barbara Bush (the twin), Diane Von Furstenberg, Kate Bosworth and Sigourney Weaver, Ryan Reynolds, Alec Baldwin, Rachel Dratch, Lawrence Fishburn, Liya Kebete, James Blunt, Karolina Kurkova, Adrien Grenier, Mira Sorvino and Chris Backus, Lauren Ambrose, Mo Rocca, Al Franken, Joey Slotnick, Haley Joel Osment, Stalker Hall of Famer Mike Meyers, and Chett from Weird Science.