• Generalizations aside, the French really shouldn't wonder why everyone else hates them. [LianneStokes]
• Alternate endings that would have made The Devil Wears Prada infinitely more bearable/interesting/believable. [The Daily Dump]
• The Manhattan Bridge: perfect for trains, not so much for pedestrians. [Dirty Old Prom Queen]
• Delusional conversations with inanimate objects. [The Assimilated Negro]
• Nothing like a little racism to start off your morning. [High Class Jackass]
• Sure, it makes sense that you don't want someone to steal your ticket, but what the hell are you doing inter-borough commuting on the LIRR in the first place? [Clublife]
• Everything you never wanted to know about Tasti D-Lite. [The Three-Toed Sloth]
• We're actually fully in favor a hipster strike. [The Onion]
• Threatening someone via email, voicemail and summons has to be the most effective way to deal with an unsuccessful J-Date, yeah? [PR. Differently]
• Jackass makes his case for why the East Side is better than the West. Anonymous hatred ensues. [TIWWDN]
• All you need to do to get a date in this city is go for a jog, smile at a guy, then post a Missed Connection - there are hordes of guys dying to be him. [MonkeyPants]
• Winning American Idol may take you to many places (yay, Ford commercials!), but you'll still have to put up with the commonfolk at Yankee's games. [The Daily Dump]
• Not only do MTA employees don't care if you break the rules, they'll even give you permission to do so. [Carolyn Castiglia]
• Get your daily fix of tits, ass and illegal outdoor drinking at Bryant Park. Despite the not-so-conspicuous undercover cops, no-one cares that you're drunk and ogling underage girls. [ScorchedHotTub]
• Public transportation is supposed to be cheaper and more efficient than driving a car, isn't it? [Smallhands Ick]
• Fat Mid-Western tourists, our opinions of you would change dramatically if you just changed your ugly shoes. And quit coming here on vacation. [JenIsFamous]
• How to pretend you're not giving a doorstep blowjob when you're giving a doorstep blowjob. [Negro Witticisms]
• Some people believe there should be a ban on old people appearing in public. [Bama Girl in the Big City]
• Don't you wish your Mom was a gynecologist and let you be her summer intern? [Dirty Old Prom Queen]
• There's nothing hotter than two 30-somethings getting it on in public. Except for, you know, if they actually take their clothes off. [The Daily Dump]
• Missy Elliot might want to get on this remix: Get Your Yemen On. [Forksplit]
• Spotting a moron couldn't be easier if he was wearing a shirt that said, 'I'm a moron'. [New York Hack]
• We're going to spend the rest of the day thinking of alternate endings for the phrase, "If disappointment were a lubricant..." [TJTBT]
• Surprisingly (or not?), most novelists who actually get around to the publishing stage leave out Starbucks. Go figure. [GapingVoid]
• Two cabbies get into a fight in Chelsea, moderated by a beefcake wearing a mesh tank top. The outcome can only be that of peace and positivity. [The Hungry Cabbie]
• Just like iTunes, your insurance company now tracks your claims and suggests new, just for you. [Get The F Out of Here]
• What are the rules when you walk into a bathroom and there's only two urinals? [The Daily Dump]
• It seems that you can conduct any sort of business via text messaging - breakups, social networking, resignations and now, sexual harassment. Ah, technology. [LianneStokes]
• Attention, NYC nightlife proprietors: MP3 jukeboxes may kill your dive bar through your patrons' drunken and completely inappropriate musical choices. [Cole Slaw Blog]
• Buying gospel CD's with that stolen credit card will hardly save your soul, jackass. [FreshPepper?]
• How many times do we have to say it? If you're trash-talking your 'anorexic friend', someone's going to hear you and put it on the internet. [New York Hack]
• Sign spotted at Madonna's Madison Square Garden concert last night: "MADONNA — You MADE me Gay!!!" We think that's a thank you. [Julia Allison]
• Only in Soho do straight men protect their women from other mens' stares by mocking their clothing choices. [Dirty Old Prom Queen]
• How pedestrians and street hawkers can get along: A story told in pictures. [East Village Idiot]
• Oh, come on, like the NYPD has never accused you of prostitution? Please. [fauxy dot net]
• So how can you get access to the Spiderman 3 shoots in Brooklyn? Bring a baby, of course. [Daily Blabbber]
• Teasing the elderly is always entertaining and satisfying. [TIWWDN]
• The phrases "Yorkie vagina" and "woman's face" should never be used in quick succession. Ever. [Pretty in the City]
• The Hotel on Rivington may have modern peekaboo showers, but the Chelsea Hotel has the boho classics. [Living with Legends]
• Ending a romance is easy enough. But ending a relationship with a Realtor? In this town, that's tough. [SuperSadface]
• And let's not even start on coffee-guy breakups, which requite diagrams. [eefers]
• If you think they won't notice the dress shirt just came out of the box and the suit's got creamcheese on the sleever, think again, hipster. [Languor Management]
• So a prophet and transvestite get on the same subway car, and... nothing happens. [Hot Johnny]
• You know what was cool? That blackout like two years ago. [Pissed & Petty]
• Steroids will, apparently, make you dance like a douchebag. [Clublife]
• You could debate what would someone to think it's OK to cut in line at the new macaroni and cheese spot. Or you could recognize that it's just fucking mac and cheese, and stop waiting on line for it in the first place. [East Village Idiot]
• We're just curious — what would PETA use to douse a fur-clad Barbie? Nailpolish, perhaps? [Copyranter]
• What would a mermaid read on her morning commute? On a Brooklyn-bound A, The New Yorker, of course. [newyorkette]
• Millipede infestations will make you crazy and paranoid. [The Three-Toed Sloth]
• It's embarrassing enough when you realize you're trying to unlock a door that's not yours. Doing it whilst holding a painting of a naked guy holding a knife just makes you look crazy. [Lindsayism]
• When Topher Grace is on Court Street, he's willing to wear a golf cap — but only if Sam Raimi really wants him to. [The Slug]
• When you're feeling like your job sucks, remember this: You could have an unpaid internship writing medical posters. [Along Those Lines]
• Aah, summer. It's the season for sweating buckets, shopping for box fans, and dealing overzealous Best Buy cashiers. [East Village Idiot]
• An age-old New York question: Why do most real-estate brokers look like they just had a crack sandwich for lunch? [Evil Discussor]
• Weehawken Street in the West Village: This is what your mother was petrified of when you told her you were moving to New York. [This Place is Dead Anyway]
• Fashion choices for uh, fatties. [King of Spills]
• Finally! A calendar intuitive enough to add your deepest, darkest fantasies to it, without even having to be told. [TIWWDN]
• Seems there's a pervert loose on the B61 bus. Which we imagine would be a problem if anyone we knew ever took the bus. [HollaBack NYC]
• If you're wondering why you're single, here's a few clues. [The Three-Toed Sloth]
• In much of the world, the McDonald's "Premium Iced Coffee" is simply iced coffee. In midtown, however, it involves two employees, a tongue depressor, and banana syrup. [The Daily Dump]
• In Times Square, as it turns out, there is such a thing as a free lunch. Or at least a free breakfast. [The Tomato Diaries]
• So what if you've already pissed off News Corp? When they're desperate enough, anyone can shake Richard Johnson's limp hand and interview for the fourth chair at Page Six. [Belle in the Big Apple]
