• What would a mermaid read on her morning commute? On a Brooklyn-bound A, The New Yorker, of course. [newyorkette]
• Millipede infestations will make you crazy and paranoid. [The Three-Toed Sloth]
• It's embarrassing enough when you realize you're trying to unlock a door that's not yours. Doing it whilst holding a painting of a naked guy holding a knife just makes you look crazy. [Lindsayism]