"Why have kids?" So asks Motherlode blog reader "Bailey," in a heartfelt effort to get to the bottom of the mystery of human reproductive urges. She came to the right place; if anyone can solve philosophical conundrums, it's internet commenters.

Everyone is fed up on Teen Mom. Mothers are fed up being mothers, babies are fed up with their fathers, and couples are fed up being apart. Who isn't fed up? The viewers lucky enough to watch this amazing show.

Mom wakes up this little tyke with a non-traditional "wake up" song. One would think that being awoken by a metal song would result in tears, but the exact opposite ensues. Maybe the "skull and crossbones" pacifier should have tipped us off.

This boy sings along to Akon's 'So Lonely' to pass the time on the way home. There's nothing lonelier than being stuck in the backseat.

Half of men who get vasectomies never get a follow-up test done to make sure their vasectomies worked. Those men are more likely to be "not highly educated and the fathers of four or more children." [Businessweek. Pic: WTFDYHAK]

Only when you see the list of most popular baby names do you realize that America is not just a bunch of chik'n-consuming Wal-Mart zombies, but rather one big elegant catalogue of Victorian Body Shop models.

If this doesn't elicit some kind of emotion from you, then remove yourself from the human race and cash in your soul now. On freezing days like today, this will make you feel warm.

Women don't always know they're pregnant. Babies fall out of them all the time, at really inopportune moments—grocery shopping, making coffee, vacuuming, on blind dates, whatever. The re-enactments of these births really drive home the awkward, unexpected pain.

The baby boy that just emerged from the womb of Gisele Bundchen isn't the only lucky little tot today. Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich and his girlfriend, globe-trotting fashion/art princess Dasha Zhukova, had a son in LA late last week. Welcome to the world, Aaron Alexander Abramovich. And remember to child-proof your missile defense system, Roman. [Fashionologie]

Somebody warn this kid's parents about Billy Ray Cyrus! Now that Miley is older, this lip-synching tyke is the perfect age to be groomed for the country throne. We see mass-merchandizing opportunities — including a line of miniature cowboy boots.

This is really a product that was begging to be made. Your baby is dirty. It crawls around, babylike, tracking dirt all over the floor. Why not turn that smelly, crawling, crying mess into a mop? Mother's little helper, indeed.

Fleetwood Mac's "Gypsy" immediately calms down this crying baby. I'm pretty sure parenting is the easiest thing in the world.

Fancy strollermaker Maclaren just issued its stroller recall this week, but it's known its products could chop off your baby's fingers for at least five years now. Why does Maclaren want Park Slope's streets littered with tiny digits? [NYP]

Fat: the silent menace of new moms and just plain fat people alike. Scientists now tell us that you must either have a small human suckle the fat off your body, or cut your own gut open, to slim down.

Angelina Jolie has picked the latest far-flung country from which she plans to pluck another child. And the winner is Syria! According to OK!, which first broke the news of Jolie's latest acquisition, Brad Pitt has decided to sit this one out, since he thinks six kids is plenty. But the people of Syria sure are thrilled!

When life gives you lemons, hand them to your baby to suck on and videotape their reaction. Hilarious cuteness ensues! We rounded up some of the most adorable for you below.

There's much chatter about upcoming final votes on the Health Care bill we're basically sick—ahem—of hearing about because when people talk about health care they apparently start to go slightly insane. As evidenced by this baby-assisted floor speech.

In case the first dozen didn't satisify your desire to smell like a pop star past her prime, Jennifer Lopez has another perfume coming out this week called "J. Lo Glow." (Be sure not to confuse it with previous scents like "Glow by J. Lo," "My Glow," "Sunkissed Glow," or "Miami Glow.") As part of the ad campaign for the new perfume, People reports that "Jennifer naturally assumes a maternal role in domestic scenes meant to reflect the coziness of the new floral fragrance." So to achieve this natural maternal role—and convey what Lopez says is a natural feeling of "intimacy and love"—Lopez must have posed with her own twins, right? Naturally, no. They're actors. [People]

Parenthood these days: It is full of challenges, or so we hear! As a parent, will you be able to successfully continue jogging? And what about your tennis game, and the peer pressure that goes with it? Parenting is hard!

An Indonesian woman gave birth to this 19.2 pound bundle of joy, the country's biggest baby ever. Doctors think gestational diabetes is to blame. We think he's just an awesome giant. That other baby doesn't even know what to think.