That sperm bank that allows its clients to search for donors based on how much they resemble various celebrities is setting up shop in NYC. The California-based company says it will be "fully operational within two months at a Park Ave. space." It also says it will be looking for new donors, so if you're male, reasonably healthy, and bear a passing resemblance to anyone famous who has ever lived, you probably qualify. If the NYC location is anything like the one in LA, the standards won't be all that high. In addition to Ian Ziering, Corey Haim and Lou Ferrigno, the sperm bank says it has a Jon Gosselin lookalike, too. [NYDN, previously]

The president's historic election didn't help break his name into the top 1000 baby names.

It never fails: you leave a little food on your plate and some liberal whines about all the starving children in Africa. Well, thanks to a new, cheap invitro program, there may soon be more hungry mouths to not feed...

Yesterday, a bunch of experts said Heidi Klum could be a "bumpaholic"—a woman obsessed with getting pregnant—since she's only 36 and she's due to have her fourth kid this fall. Now she tells USA Today that the baby she's expecting in October is going to be her last. Coincidence? You be the judge! [USA Today, previously]

There isn't much of a difference between a dog and a two-year toddler, according to new research. Both are on the "same mental plane," according to a psychology professor and dog expert who reports that like two-year-olds, "dogs can experience fear, anger, happiness and disgust, but not guilt." (Humans don't experience guilt until the age of four or so.) Regrettably, the study did not look into cases in which the parents were operating on the same mental plane as the toddler and dog, but we'll assume the results of that study will be coming along any day now. [Yahoo! News]

A prematurely born baby: died, given a death certificate, had funeral arrangements made for him. Then he started crying from his box. Also, I read the tag on the linked post as "Old Stuff," which - LOLZ - terrible. [Guanabee]

A sperm bank in California is now allowing clients to choose an anonymous donor based on how much he resembles a particular celebrity. Want to be impregnated by a man who may (or may not!) look like Ben Affleck, currently the most searched-for celeb at the clinic? You now have that option! But don't expect any guarantees. Explains an employee of the sperm bank: "The goal was not to say you can have a baby that looks like Bob Saget," Brown said. "The goal was to say this donor happens to resemble this celebrity." Bob Sagat? Now that donor is going to be a busy man. [CNN]

The high society better-than-yous who summer in The Hamptons are under the impression that there is some legitimate moral stratification of Hamptons summer society magazines. They fuss and fight as if they were doing something marginally useful, or coherent!

James Wilkie Broderick has a couple of new playmates as of today. The surrogate mother carrying twins for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick gave birth to two healthy baby girls today in Ohio. Now they'll just need to extend a bribe to the local authorities and they'll be home free. [People]

"A British research firm is reporting that the average weight gained during pregnancy is 14 pounds—and that's by the babies' fathers." The men involved in the study reported they added two inches, on average, to their waistlines and a quarter indicated that they gained the weight out of a "desire to make their partner feel better about her own weight gain." And yet only 30 percent joined their partner in a diet after the baby arrived. Typical. [NYT]

There's a silver lining for couples struggling to procreate: The fertility industry, which has been hit hard by the abysmal economy, is now offering discounts! Faced with rapidly diminishing numbers of people seeking in vitro treatments, doctors are slashing prices and doling out coupons for their services. A year or two ago, a typical treatment might run $15,000 or more; now you, too, can have a child for the low, low price of $6,600. They're practically giving these babies away!

What does one pop culture horrorshow do when he wants to publicly mock another, even more terrifying pop culture horrorshow? He goes on the soon-disappearing Jay Leno show. Today we have drunken Judaica scholar Mel Gibson vs. horrifying swamp breeder, Nadya 'Octomom' Suleman.

Your baby daughter is wailing. You'd really like to quiet her down, but you don't want to have to actually interact with her to make it happen. What to do? Let your cell phone do the work, naturally! As one dad tells it, when his infant daughter starts to get "fussy" in the car or during a walk, he simply turns on the free iPhone app "White Noise Lite" and drops it into her carrier. "It immediately relaxes her," he explains, which is nice since that makes two of them.

A bunch of kids took tests to succeed in life. These tests were lost and now the parents of those kids are very angry because, as their progeny might say, "a risible misprision" has occurred.

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

What will Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos do next, after launching his grand Kindle swindle on the newspapers? He's aiming to get inside your offspring's heads!

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting twins in a few weeks. The couple released a statement today indicating they plan to have the kids thanks to the "generous help of a surrogate," and EW reports the couple had been "trying for years to add to their family," but had been unsuccessful. Leave it to Star, though, to come up with a much darker take on the happy news: The tabloid says the couple paid a 26-year-old divorcee "tens of thousands of dollars" to carry the kids, and the couple only decided to take the surrogate route after it was revealed that "Matthew had been cheating with a 21-years-younger redheaded youth counselor." Feel free to take your pick. [EW, Star]

Early Show host and Les Moonves wifey Julie Chen is preggers! And from the sound of her banter this morning, we are going to be hearing all about Mrs. CBS's baby-to-be for months.

The perpetually put-upon parents of Park Slope have yet another outrage to face! Already battling listserv fees and fighting sexist hats, the yups must now contend with dogs trying to eat their babies!

A Manhattan fertility doctor named Joel Batzofin is now offering a "recession special, "test-tube babies at bargain-basement prices," according to the Daily News. Of course, if a couple can't afford a standard course of in vitro fertilization, it's unclear how they'd be able to afford one kid, much less the multiple children that often result from IVF. But it's possible that Batzofin's "recession special" guarantees octoplets, in which case it could just be the perfect cure-all for financial problems, at least if recent history is any guide. [NYDN]