Teen Mom: Apologizing With Meatloaf
Everyone is fed up on Teen Mom. Mothers are fed up being mothers, babies are fed up with their fathers, and couples are fed up being apart. Who isn't fed up? The viewers lucky enough to watch this amazing show.
Gary and Amber
Gary and Amber need each other. They are like the embodiment of a bee and its flower, if the bee was really hormonal and cried all the time. They can't stand to be together, but it's even worse being apart. You guys, they are EXACTLY like an overweight Carrie and Big who had a baby out of wedlock.
So Amber left Gary to "live" in a Motel designed for the sensible crackhead. However, Gary is determined to get her back. This might be troublesome, because in order to get her back, he's going to have to change. And it's going to be really tough to break his laying down 23 hours a day habit. Well, wait, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Before he changes, he will need to present Amber with a loving, thoughtful gift. Well that thoughtful gift is one of the most unintentionally funny "romantic" gestures I have ever seen in my life.
How will Amber react to Casanova Gary's equation of scented candle + Cracker Barrel = let's make it work?
God I hope these kids work it out.
Farrah
This week Farrah was pretty much fed up with being a mother. She's 18, thin, single, and ready to partay. However, there's a problem with Farrah's baby: it exists. And it is seriously cramping her style. But there's a solution to that pesky baby: her parents! They'll watch that annoying poop machine! On the first night, her parents are totes cool with babysitting. Go have fun! Kick your heels up! But not too much fun, and don't kick those heels up too high, because the last time that happened, you had a baby.
But what's this? Farrah wants to go out again the next night? And the night after that? This isn't going to sit well with her parents, but what they don't realize is that Farrah doesn't give a fuck. As evidenced by this clip of all her comments that show just how young she is.
Girl, you better check yourself.
Ryan and Maci
Ryan is so awful he makes Gary look like a white Bill Cosby. Ryan hates three things: His girlfriend, his baby, and speaking. So when Maci has to leave to go to work, Ryan must watch the baby. So while it's obvious that Ryan is not a fan of this situation, its safe to say the feeling is mutual.
Catelynn and Tyler
Finally, Catelynn and Tyler. They are both coping with giving their baby up for adoption. Catelynn spent the episode at a retreat for women who also gave their baby up for adoption. Different from the rest of the girls on the show, Catelynn's problems are all internalized from giving up her baby. That's not the only thing that sets her apart, as she also displays a great amount of maturity in coping with her loss. Tyler, her boyfriend, is also BY FAR the most caring, loving, significant other on the show. He actually listens to what Catelynn says, and it's all so sickeningly sweet and genuine. In other words: BOOOORING.
It is official: This show is amazing.