We're on to solo rounds of American Idol Hollywood week and that's legitimately a good thing! People bring intstruments, separating the men from the boys, the girls from the women, the real musicians from the autotuners.

Last night we saw everyone lip-sync for their lives! Or, no, sorry, I was confusing this show for a second with everyone's favorite public access game show RuPaul's Drag Race. No, last night on American Idol everyone sang for their lives, blessedly unencumbered by a group, beautifully backed up by Idol band Disco Danny and the Uptown Five.

Hello again! Tonight, American Idol is back—at 8:00 PM ET on FOX—with another Hollywood Week episode. So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us for our live-blog!

Last night we bore witness to the yearly tradition of miserable, fearsome Group Night, a tableau of horror and agony reminiscent of Picasso's Guernica. No one is ever prepared, everyone is unhappy, the judges put large Coke cups (or in last night's case, Vitamin Water cups) under their faces to collect all the blood, and we at home spasm into strange positions on the couch, issuing strange barks and guttural hoots, pupils the dinner plate size of the computer cleaner girl from Intervention. It's quite a night! It's actually kind of fun.

Hello again! Tonight, American Idol is back—at 8:00 PM ET on FOX, and for two hours!—with another Hollywood Week episode. So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television, and join us for our live-blog!

This season on American Idol, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler have joined the judging panel and Steven's wacky moments have brought some comedic relief into the auditioning process. If you want call his antics "comedic relief."

American Idol Hollywood week! Are you excited? Are you? No? Wait, why are you sleeping?

Last night Ryan Seacrest went to his mysterious control room and, though the room shook and the machines groaned and sparked, pushed the drama lever up to 11. Because it was time for the beginning of Hollywood Week! For you Idol neophytes out there (hi Mom), Hollywood Week is the time in a young person's life when a fluffy fun dream turns into cold hard miserable reality — either as failure or as the beginning of terrible stardom. Either they make it through and the fires of their ambition begin to burn a bright, noxious green, or they are snuffed out forever. It's pretty intense! And last night was no exception.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!

Last night's American Idol, with auditions being held in San Francisco, was full of characters. Or at least that's what they kept stressing: "You never know who could show up in San Francisco.

Ahh, finally. Last night was the final round of auditions on this, our tenth adventure on the groaning Idol merry-go-round. Shanti. It was fitting that the last city was San Francisco, a place of thin sun and cool, crisp hope, but also of strange and looming mountains, of underfoot tremors, of, as Tony Kushner taught us, great millennial brokenness and yearning. It's the perfect place for Idol's blend of triumph and tragedy, though last night they focused a bit more heavily on the tragedy.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining audition episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!

Last night the old Idol wagon train rolled into Los Angeles. And because that's where it lives, it felt more comfortable letting it all hang out, warts and all. I suppose that's good for them, but it's bad for us.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining audition episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!

On last night's American Idol, auditions were held in Austin, Texas, and, boy, were they dull. Sure, there were a few standout contestants who were rewarded with one of Randy's patented "Yo, Wild Hawgz" before receiving their golden tickets, but, all in all, the night was a resounding "meh." Even the crazies were mellow and boring. What's the deal, Austin? Where are your delusional weirdos? Don't you know that we need their public embarrassment like we need oxygen?

Last night the Idol Thunderbus rolled into Austin, Texas for a sweet sampling of country jams. It was an episode that was as laid-back and easygoing as the city in which it took place. Giddyup.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining audition episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!

Oh, American Idol. What would we do without your twice-weekly gift of schadenfreude? Here are the nominees for last night's worst (i.e. best) audition.

It was a trip to Opryland last night, as the American Idol murderbus rolled into Nashville. Oddly, though Nashville has something of a reputation for being a music city, the singtestants last night largely failed to inspire.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining audition episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!