American Idol Hollywood week! Are you excited? Are you? No? Wait, why are you sleeping?

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Yes, Hollywood week is always the worst and most boring. There are so many middle-of-the-road singers and no one terrible enough to distract you from the fact that this show is just plain sad. Everybody is earnest, they've dreamed of this their whole lives (at least that's what the 16 year old contestants say) and, when they blow it, it's not with the showmanship of the earlier rounds. It's quiet, depressing and no one will stop smiling through their tears.

One such contestant was Victoria Huggins, a seventeen year old "Southern belle" whose personality is... well, her personality is just too much. She's sticky sweet, perky and, worst of all, sincere. It's the sincerity which makes it that much harder to discuss her here- to admit that I might find her totally grating- when I bet she's nice to her classmates and has a great relationship with her mom. We all know people like her in real life. We want to like them, we know they're decent people, but we just can't. We owe the Victoria Hugginses of the world an apology, but we're not willing to give them much else. Victoria's audition was terrible and painful to watch. She strutted out with such confidence and her weird sister-wife hair only to wail an indiscernible melody about God. You could tell the judges hated it. She could tell the judges hated it, but she just smiled, was gracious and cried on her mom's shoulder. It was heartbreaking, but I also maybe liked it?

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This next contestant (whose name I didn't even bother to look up because WHO CARES) completely deserves our contempt. Whereas our little corn muffin Victoria gets eliminated and smiles sweetly, this guy completely throws dignity to the wind and begs. I get that people think this is their one shot at becoming a star or whatever American Idol winners are considered to be these days (Lee Dewyze, what up!), but have the judges ever reconsidered a contestant at this point in the game? No. So people need to smile politely, go home, start recording YouTube videos with their guitars and pray to make it Bieber-style. Obviously, the judges don't care that this particular contestant really wants to make it through, so they tell him no. Does he leave quietly now? Of course not. He decides to make them regret their decision by singing his way up the aisle. Everyone is embarrassed by him- even his girlfriend is embarrassed by him. You can actually see the attraction she once held for him dying in her eyes. And the best part? His little aisle performance is terrible! And awesome. But mostly terrible.

Next week? Round two of Hollywood week and you know what that-zzzzzzzz.