Austin Michael Symonds, an 18-year-old employee of a Papa Murphy's pizzeria in Georgetown, Texas, was arrested by police last week after he was allegedly caught by a customer rubbing his scrotum on a pizza order. According to the arrest warrant obtained by the Austin American-Statesman, the customer confronted the teen, asking him his age and then, "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza?" Symonds responded by saying, "Yes," before apparently telling the customer, "Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid."

A 65-year-old woman from Bangkok committed suicide on Friday by walking into a reptile farm outside the capital and jumping into a crocodile pit. Staff attempted to use large sticks to prevent the crocodiles from attacking her, but it was too late.

Top Walmart spokesman David Tovar has reportedly resigned after the company found that he lied on his resume about receiving a college degree. Lying? Not Walmart spokesman David Tovar!

Rihanna said "fuck you" to CBS this morning for pulling her song "Run This Town" from the Thursday Night Football intro last week. According to Rihanna, the network is trying to "slide it back in" this week.

Bill Hader stopped by to chat with his old pal Seth Meyers on Late Night last night, where the two reminisced on their weepy SNL parting and the faux Stefon-Seth wedding. Known as a character primarily comprised of Hader breaking into laughter, he explained that the reason Stefon always put his hands up to his face was because the way Meyers would respond to the character made him laugh, too. "A person being patient with an insane person is my favorite thing in the world," he said.

I wanted to go to Dahn Yoga, a Korean cult that is mainly known for separating vulnerable American women from their money, for a couple of reasons.

President Obama is expected to announced today a serious expansion of the American military and healthcare presence in Africa to combat the deadliest Ebola outbreak in history. Up to 3,000 troops could be dispatched to the country to build treatment centers, train healthcare workers, and set up a military command center to coordinate help.

Babs came back to late night TV for the first time since 1967 as Jimmy Fallon's sole guest on the Tonight Show Monday night.

An unfortunately placed gold panel captured the imaginations of thousands of cycling enthusiasts this weekend when the Colombian women's team debuted their new team uniforms.

According to new data released this week, New Yorkers are back to smoking in record numbers.

Lena Dunham’s upcoming book tour, for her highly-anticipated memoir Not That Kind of Girl, quickly sold out in July. If you didn’t nab a ticket then, and have nearly a grand to spare, you’re in luck: One New Yorker is selling his or her general admission ticket to Dunham’s October 21 reading at the Brooklyn Academy of Music for $900 on Craigslist.

Police say an Italian man who thought his home was being burglarized this week was only partially right—turns out, the only thing the criminal stole was his wife's heart.

"At least 150 major companies worldwide - including ExxonMobil, Google, Microsoft and 26 others in the United States - are already making business plans that assume they will be taxed on their carbon pollution, a report today says." So go ahead and tax them already, before we all burn up.

In what certain outlets have characterized as a "rant," Kanye West responded to media publications (like ours) that reported he told a fan in a wheelchair to "stand up" at one of his concerts. His response? "I'm a married, Christian man... pick another target."

Perhaps you've noticed that Chris Brown has been walking around wearing a new chain recently. Some blogs have reported that this nice piece of jewelry bears a striking resemblance to a necklace Rihanna once kissed in a mysterious undated black-and-white photograph. Could Brown be sending secret signals about his love to/for Rihanna?

Hey, Southern California. How hot are you right now? Breaking a sweat? Throwing up from dehydration? Kvetching even in the A/C? Well, at least you aren't a bear. Think about that one.

Indiana police arrested Joseph Oberhansley—a convicted killer on parole—last week in connection to the killing of Tammy Jo Blanton, who was stabbed to death in her Jeffersonville home. Oberhansley reportedly admitted to police that he ate part of Blanton's brain, heart, and lungs after killing her. "He further admitted to cooking a section of her brain and eating it," the arrest reported obtained by WAVE reads.

"Fight Church" is a new documentary about the counterintuitive subculture of Christian mixed martial arts fighting. The clip above gives you a taste of what a full contact Muay Thai fight night in a Christian church looks like.

Derrick Skou went camping with some of his buddies last weekend at Pinhead Creek in Clackamas County, Ore. They were just sitting around, playing some tunes when a bat swooped in, landed on Skou's chest, crawled up to his neck, and bit him. "Holy shit!" you hear one of his friends say. "That was a new one!!!"

The president and CEO of Fox News Channel, Roger Ailes, has a well-documented fear of being targeted or assassinated by liberals, gay people, Muslims, even President Obama. To counter these imaginary threats, Ailes has enlisted personal bodyguards, installed dozens of security cameras throughout his homes, and obtained a handgun license. He’s also made very good friends with the local cops of Cresskill, New Jersey.