Perma-perturbed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay says his big London restaurant opening was sabotaged this weekend when someone booked up the dining room with fake reservations.

Jamie Horowitz, a former ESPN executive who was lured away from the sports network by NBC to helm the Today show, was fired from the network Monday night after only two months on the job.

Where was this desperate New Jersey woman headed, speeding around Newark on three tires, and who was the mysterious limo rider who orchestrated her arrest? ANIMAL New York has the strange story.

Bill Cosby was dead silent this weekend when Weekend Edition host Scott Simon asked him about those pesky rape allegations, but he hasn't always been—in fact, he jokes about drugging women's drinks an early stand-up routine that loosely corresponds to his accusers' stories.

A 39-year-old man who inherited his grandfather's sweet $100-a-month rent deal on a four-bedroom Upper East Side apartment may have blown the whole thing by suing to have the high rise next door torn down, the New York Daily News reports.

Nathan Robinson, 28, stands accused of murdering his 350-pound father, chopping the body into small pieces, placing those pieces into a set of stacked storage boxes, and using the assemblage as a TV stand. Authorities found the body only after a downstairs neighbor noticed "pink liquid" dripping through his ceiling, the BBC reports.

Everyone's favorite swastika-tattooed mass murderer is reportedly getting married! The Associated Press reports that earlier this month Charles Manson, 80, received a marriage license to wed 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton.

In a video for Jenkem magazine, skateboarders Sean Colello and Rob Miceli took their talents to a host of abandoned locations ranging in decrepitude from "charming fixer-upper" to "American Horror Story opening credits." Somehow, they made it out alive.

CNN host and frequent Daily Show guest Fareed Zakaria had Jon Stewart on GPS to talk about his new film, Rosewater, but couldn't resist cornering Stewart into admitting he watches CNN. A pyrrhic victory, considering what Stewart had to say about the network.

The following is an interview in which Jaden Smith—son of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, brother of Willow—says that his goal in life is "to be the most craziest of all time." Everything he says previous to that statement will convince you that no human has ever conceived of a more achievable aspiration.

"From Jonathan Gruber to Kim Kardashian: Why American Leadership Is Broken." Good column here.

Say what you will about fraternities (there is a lot you could say), but never say they don't teach valuable emergency preparedness skills, like pissing on things.

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency in Missouri Monday afternoon, just days before a grand jury is expected to reach a decision about whether to indict Darren Wilson, the St. Louis County police officer who killed Michael Brown in August. The declaration, which is good for 30 days, also activates the National Guard in Missouri.

Lloyd Grove, on the Daily Beast, in a sort of irony/empathy juggling act, wrote about Washington Post columnist, contributing editor for The Atlantic, New York Times bestselling author, and "CNN Presenter" Fareed Zakaria, host of Fareed Zakaria GPS on Sundays on CNN (check your local listings) and the trouble he's in for his plagiarizing of all kinds of material, from martini recipes to unimportant stuff, and how "pathetically uncredentialed, no-account bloggers who go by the ridiculous Twitter handles @Blippoblappo and @Crushingbort" are bringing possible ruination down upon the "[i]mperially slim and darkly handsome, possessed of an insinuating charm and a cultured manner of speech that recalls the British Raj" Zakaria, also known to Mr. Grove as "America's most celebrated public intellectual."

Amanda Bynes released an apologetic statement through a lawyer today, after recordings of her threatening to murder her family leaked online. "I'm sorry I trusted people who clearly were not my friends and capitalized on my illness," she said. "I am doing my best to get better."

This is an almost five minute-long video of a doctor in Faizabad, India removing hundreds of maggots from a patient's ear. Jesus Christ.

Just when you think that for-profit colleges like the University of Phoenix are predatory bloodsuckers that sell worthless degrees at inflated prices to vulnerable people, they go and do something thoughtful, like offering their terrible services to thousands of black students.

Worcestershire sauce isn't pronounced the way it's spelled, and even experienced chefs sometimes have trouble saying it properly. It's understandable that you're still getting it wrong. Don't worry, though, Italian chef Pasquale Sciarappa is here to help: It's "won-cha-STEER sa-OOH-chay."

As the Baby Name Critic was finishing her second Americano today, her editor informed her that her responsibilities at Gawker.com have expanded to include not just celebrity baby names, but analyses of baby-name data when necessary. Then the Baby Name Critic was sent this chart, from the Randian Costco of websites, Vox.com.

Popular (and wacky!) radio DJs John and Rasheed from Berlin's JAM FM know—just like you and I—that the single defining characteristic of every single human woman is their breasts. So in an attempt to see what it would be like to trade a Y chromosome for an X, the two got pumped with a saline solution to give them 24-hour C-cup "breasts." They learned a lot.