On Friday, a Golden Retriever named Buddy did what dogs do and chased a cat into a cat house in Long Island. Unfortunately for him, Buddy got his giant dumb head stuck in the cat house's tiny door, and cops had to rescue him.

On Monday's episode of Dr. Phil, the talk doc grilled "Mama" June Shannon about her relationship with registered sex offender Mark McDaniel, who molested June's daughter Anna Cardwell. Regarding the public knowledge of her relationship with McDaniel, which led to the cancellation of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, June said, "There's some truths and there's some lies that's out there, and there's the truth between that." She then danced all over the margins she set without ever leaving her seat.

Congrats are in order: Solange Knowles got married in New Orleans this weekend. Photos from the intimate affair had Twitter and Facebook buzzing Sunday night with praise for Beyonce's little sister. So much so that I'm pretty sure, ten years from now, when you look up "Slayage" in the dictionary this picture will accompany the definition.

Earlier this year, Steve Ballmer bought the L.A. Clippers for more than $2 billion. He may be able to write $1 billion of that off his taxes. Uhhh. "Some... experts believe that owners get too many tax breaks."

Just as the Baby Name Critic was finishing her morning Americano, she received word that an American disc jockey who performs as "Diplo" (aka Thomas Wesley Pentz) had spawned a child.

Weird internet polymath Neil Cicierega (best known for his hilarious '90s mashup nightmare "Mouth Sounds," which features five different remixes of Smash Mouth's "All-Star") has gifted us another nugget of strange brilliance in the form of this Lenny Kravitz lyrics video.

Airbnb, the popular hotel-tax dodging application and apartment-renting service that artists use to gouge tourists and finance their careers, has launched a print magazine, the Times reports. It is called Pineapple (?) and its purpose, it explains in a note to readers, is "to explore our fundamental values: sharing, community and belonging."

New York's cover story this week proclaims, "Smile, You're Speaking Emoji." But are you? Do you understand the difference between the tongue-out emoji and the winking tongue-out emoji? Today's children communicate almost exclusively in these little smileys, and soon the weak emoji-illiterates in our society will be left behind.

Normally Michelle Williams is the person in Beyoncé's sphere who is regarded with the most pity. Over the weekend, however, that distinction went to Solange Knowles, whom God would not allow to be more beautiful than her sister, even on her wedding day.

Sometimes innocent people are wrongfully convicted of serious crimes. Sometimes they're released from prison after many years. How much money do they deserve?

Four workers died after a dangerous chemical leak at a DuPont plant in La Porte, Texas early Saturday morning. A spokesman for the plant told reporters that a valve "somehow failed" on a container of methyl mercaptan, a chemical used to make insecticide.

A video showing sketchy men trying to take advantage of a woman who was acting drunk in public made the rounds last week, but the directors of the "prank" video neglected to mention that the "creepy" men were paid actors. Two of the men told Inside Edition they're upset at being made to look like predators.

While rich baby North West may never get any treats, she could soon be in possession of her very own private island with a custom-built amusement park. According to Australian tabloid New Idea, Kim Kardashian has been eyeing Turtle Island off the coast of Queensland while promoting her new perfume Down Under.

When Bill de Blasio arrived late to a memorial marking the anniversary of the crash of Flight 587 last week, he came with an unlikely excuse: his boat to the site was delayed by fog. The mayor has since backtracked—he had a "rough night," he said later—but has maintained that weather played a factor. A new report suggests it didn't.

If you pay an individual or a big company to invest your money for you, you should be aware of the fact that there is an extremely convincing case that you are foolishly throwing your money into the garbage can.

Just 10 years ago, Taylor Swift was a normal(ish) Pennsylvania middle schooler, who did normal middle school things like playing "Island Girl 1" in a smoothie commercial for a class project. Despite having one line, she gets top billing in the credits, because she's Taylor Swift.

If you get Ebola, it turns out that the single best thing you can do is to drink a gallon of water a day. "I want sports personalities to be talking about it," says a doctor in Sierra Leone. "I want everybody to be talking about it." Spread the word!

Martin Salia, the doctor flown to Nebraska Medical Center this past Saturday after testing positive for Ebola, died from the virus today, the hospital confirms. He was 44.

Billy Joel (b. 1949, the Bronx) does not think New Yorkers should complain about the fact that Pennsylvania native and verifiably insane person Taylor Swift is now the Global Welcome Ambassador for New York City. In fact, grumbly New Yorkers who think she's embarrassing are, in a word, "snoots."

The firestorm of rape accusations leveled against Bill Cosby continues: Music publicist and journalist Joan Tarshis accuses the comedian of raping her twice in 1969 when she was 19-years-old in an essay published on Hollywood Elsewhere.