Unmasking the Glow

Alea Adigweme · 04/04/15 11:25AM

I am a dandy, always out to lunch, and, so, more mornings than not, getting dressed is the most difficult part of my day. I am incapable of leaving my residence until I've rendered a meticulous sartorial model of that day's polyphonous version of my internal landscape. I am rarely punctual. I will never be caught in sweatpants.

Alabama Man Freed After 28 Years on Death Row

Brendan O'Connor · 04/04/15 09:05AM

After being sentenced to death nearly three decades ago, Anthony Ray Hinton has been exonerated and was released on Friday. The Jefferson County district attorney's office moved to drop the case on Wednesday, after years of appeals that ultimately reached the United States Supreme Court.

Racist Ferguson Gov't Emails Released in Full: Read Them Here

Aleksander Chan · 04/03/15 03:11PM

It has been established, through documents uncovered during a federal probe, that the municipal government running Ferguson, Mo., is fundamentally racist. And now today, following public records requests made by the Guardian and other outlets, we have the full offensive emails sent between three Ferguson employees over the past seven years.

Don't Pay for Drugs With Venmo You Big Dumbass

Sam Biddle · 04/03/15 02:55PM

Capital New York reports that "Columbia University students are bugging out" after their favorite, smartphone-compatible drug dealer was busted by the cops. You'd think a bunch of Ivy Leaguers wouldn't need to be reminded, but paying for drugs with an app that logs the exact details of a transaction is a bad idea.

Burger King Is Not King Anymore, Now This Pig Is King

Kelly Conaboy · 04/03/15 02:04PM

Roger Waters once wrote, "Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are." Was he talking about this pig who took over a Burger King in southwestern Pennsylvania on Thursday morning? He wasn't—he was talking about capitalism, or something about how you shouldn't trust authority, or maybe social inequality. Still, though, check out this pig.

Man Found Dead in the Arms of His Lover, a Scarecrow in a Wig

Jay Hathaway · 04/03/15 01:20PM

A lonely Argentine shepherd was found dead in his bed Tuesday, lying next to what initially appeared to investigators to be another person, but was quickly determined to be a scarecrow outfitted with "special features," including jeans, lipstick, a wig, and a 6-inch plastic sex tube.

Pablo Runs Through Airport Shouting: I'm Pablo, I Will Be Famous

Andy Cush · 04/03/15 12:38PM

Pablo, a famous celebrity with whom you are by now surely familiar, was arrested this morning for allegedly running through New York's John F. Kennedy airport, shouting, "I'm Pablo, I will be famous!" Mission accomplished, Pablo.