Drunk, Leering Lucille Ball Statue Menaces Small Village
"Now the time is here / For [bronze Lucy] to spread fear / Vengeance from the grave / [Spooks] the people [she] once saved"
Like Black Sabbath's Iron Man before her, a statue of Lucille Ball meant to be the salvation of her people has instead become their greatest enemy, terrorizing the helpless populace of Celoron, New York.
Erected in 2009, the bronze sculpture of the area's most famous resident has since inspired the online campaign "We Love Lucy! Get Rid of this Statue," for fairly obvious reasons.
“I think it looks like a monster. That is just my opinion,” the group's anonymous founder told Yahoo News this week. “When you see it at night, it is frightening.”
On Thursday, Celeron Mayor Scott Schrecengost told The Post-Journal that replacing the head of the Vitameatavegamin-soaked statue would cost up to $10,000, but the comedy golem's critics appear unwilling to accept such half-measures.
"What they are planning on doing is to take the head off and put a new one on! CRAZY!" wrote "We Love Lucy! Get Rid of this Statue" on Facebook Saturday. "Once again, I urge people to NOT DONATE TO ANY FUND TO REPAIR THIS STATUE, but to wait until a proper fund has been set up to get a NEW STATUE."
[Images via Facebook/We Love Lucy! Get Rid of this Statue//h/t A.V. Club]