In searching for a Father’s Day present for my stepdad, I hit up all the best sites: Amazon.com, google: “father’s day”, HomeDepot.com, and finally Etsy. While my returns on the first three were lackluster—what’s he going to do with another grill spatula with a light wood handle?—I was surprised to learn that Etsy really came through for a gal in need.

Earlier this month, a librarian in Canada stumbled across a forgotten copy of the original Star Wars shooting script. Which, uh...no offense to Canada, but we already have seen the first (fourth) Star Wars. What we really want is the script for the new one, The Force Awakens. And we’re willing to pay.

Could it be bronzer-and-lies enthusiast Rachel Dolezal’s charming Today Show anecdote about drawing herself in brown crayon as a child was a lie, too? If you ask her fantastically passive-aggressive parents, uh, yeah, obviously.

Donald Trump is officially running for President of the United States in 2016. During a Tuesday morning speech held at Manhattan’s Trump Tower, the 69-year-old Republican real estate mogul announced his current assets are worth $8.7 billion after debt and other liabilities.

Nick Hanauer, a venture capitalist who was one of the first investors in Amazon, has the distinction of being one of America’s few progressive billionaires. We spoke to him about the class war—which he is busily fighting.

Do me a favor and think about how you feel right now. Sun’s out, guns’ out, you got your favorite loose cottons on. When you look around you, does something—perhaps someone—catch your eye? Are you feeling yourself on a more acute level than you’re usually feeling yourself? Is there a constant tingle in your nether regions? Was your friend who wasn’t hot all of a sudden very hot and appealing to you?

Rachel Dolezal followed her Today Show appearance this morning with an interview on MSNBC. First, host Melissa Harris-Perry—who is black—asked Dolezal if Dolezal was black. “Yes,” the former NAACP president said. Then Dolezal was asked what being black meant to her.

Six people were killed and seven more were injured when a fourth-floor balcony collapsed early this morning during a birthday party at a Berkeley, California, apartment complex. All five killed were Irish students, as were some of those injured.

The New York Post, in the most unabashed shade slinging yet, reports that Tillie—“the dumpy granny” prison worker implicated in last week’s escape—knew just what kind of power tools the convicted murderers were working with, if you know what I’m saying (they sexed).

Boring person clothing store THE GAP, faced with falling sales, has announced that it will close 175 stores across America in a sad attempt to feel less unpopular. Who is responsible? Yes, it’s the dreaded millennials.

For presidential primogeniture artist John Ellis “Jeb” Bush, distancing himself from the family name is only half the battle: He must appear to embrace the youngs as tightly as Napoleon appeared to embraced the plague-stricken poor. Fortunately, his website coders had a plan. The youngs love Bruce Willis, right?

Rachel Dolezal, the former Spokane, Wash. NAACP leader who lied for years about being black, came forward on The Today Show this morning to address her racial identity (“I identify as black,” she said.) What she did not mention was her previous assertion that her parents went to the media about her racial obfuscation because she supports a sibling who was allegedly sexually abused by her brother.

Former Spokane, Wash. NAACP chief Rachel Dolezal made her first major television appearance Tuesday since revelations that she had lied to colleagues about being black.

Can you ever truly know another person? Judging by the sheer number of Who the BLEEP Did I Marry episodes, coupled with this poor woman’s story, I’d say nah.

On Monday, the Colorado Supreme Court ruled 6-0 that businesses have the right to terminate employees for using marijuana, even if they are off-duty at the time, upholding two lower court decisions, The Wall Street Journal reports.

Good news, potential Law & Order cold open extras: Those “human organs” washing up around the San Francisco Bay aren’t the result of a series of grisly murders but a different super gross thing entirely.

Tonight, NBC announced that former Spokane NAACP President Rachel Dolezal would appear on the network Tuesday for a live interview with Today Show host Matt Lauer.

Citing Yemeni national security officials, CNN reports that Al Qaeda’s second-in-command, Nasir al-Wuhayshi, was killed in southern Yemen on Friday by a suspected U.S. drone strike.

Uber warned its drivers in China last Friday to stay away from mass protests against the ride-sharing service in the interest of “social order,” and threatened to fire any driver caught lingering near a protest scene, the Wall Street Journal reports. The company said it intended to enforce the order by tracking drivers’ GPS records to catch anyone who might disobey.

Ever since ur-blogger Andrew Sullivan retired from blogging in February, his fans and admirers (“SullyHeads,” as they’re not known) have wondered, “what’s Andrew Sullivan up to, right now?” and “what does Andrew Sullivan think about what is happening in the news lately?” Proving his doubters wrong, Sullivan has remained quiet since his last post in February. But earlier today there was a sign of life at his longtime blog, The Dish: A single post — a gif of a tumbleweed rolling along a dirt path — went live.