On today's Swift Justice, Nancy Grace scolded a guest for smiling during a discussion about polygraph tests. After that, the man unleashed the best voice crack ever. I'd be smiling, too if my voice sounded an like auto-tuned T-Pain song!

And now, your daily look into the twitterific lives of our favorite celebs!

Remember Richard Heene, father of the ill-fated (but not really) Balloon Boy? Well, he's back, and with an all new invention! Here's the ridiculous infomercial for Heene's back-scratching product, Bear Scratch, starring—who else?—the man himself. Sigh. Sigh. Siiiigh.

Charges were dropped for three of the eleven suspects in the Bronx anti-gay kidnapping and beating case.

The FBI has linked two recent shootings, one at the National Museum of the Marine Corps and the other at the Pentagon, to the same gun. A third shooting last night at a Marine recruiter is also likely linked. Jesus.

This week on The Big C, everything came to a head. The janitor was gone, Cathy's students revolted, and she even caught a bitch slap from her crotchedy neighbor. Luckily for Cathy, though, there's forgiveness within the confines of church.

At Blizzard's recent video game convention, BlizzCon, a kid at a Q&A knew the World of Warcraft story better than the people who wrote it. How about that! Witness a man who has achieved a legendary level of nerdiness, inside.

Fights over Halloween egg-throwing have killed about one New Yorker per year for the past quarter century.

Today we looked at Halloween sweets that will kill you, or at least make you ugly. Despairing news for all, to be sure. So despairing that it reminded one commenter of a terrible All Hallow's Eve from years ago.

Bette Middler and Martha Stewart inadvertently broke off all the wrong fingers while making creepy blood-red ice hands for a Halloween punch today. Watch the mortified legend react to mistakenly flipping off the entire Martha Show audience inside.

Now that we've identified the Tea Partier who wrestled a female protester to the ground at Kentucky's Senate debate, how about the guy who trod on her face? Meet Tim Profitt. He once had his picture taken with Rand Paul.

In Part 2 of our series sifting through the pages of Canadian mezzo-soprano Justin Bieber's autobiography First Step 2 Forever, we turn to his romantic side. The book educates us in the Bieber's chief pursuit: girls. So many girls.

Republicans officials recognize that the country is hurting. They were very clear today, after the invitation to their election night event leaked, that they will not be "partying" there. They will just have a huge event at the Grand Hyatt.

If you were watching CNBC around 4:00 this afternoon, you would have seen today's "Closing Bell" ceremony at the NYSE, featuring Gawker Media's own Scott Kidder and Phil Vuong! If you missed it, though, don't fret—there's video inside.

On last night's episode of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, guest Molly Shannon, Fallon and two audience members participated in a rousing game of Charades. With a nearly impossible title to pantomime, Fallon went straight for the chest. Literally.

The Way We Live Now: dancing naked. Forever, hopefully! Of course we know that the music stops eventually. But before it does, we need a new house, a new portfolio, and a new economy. And junk food, on a train.

[The star of "L.A. Ink"—and girlfriend of most hated man in America Jesse James—exits the studio of "Good Day New York." Image via Splash.]

Transparency International has released its annual list of the most corrupt countries around the world, and the United States actually did pretty well! It came in at No. 22 out of 178 countries. So who did better than us?

TONIGHT: Lots of TV! We've got the season premiere of 16 & Pregnant, plus new episodes of Glee, No Ordinary Family, The Good Wife, Millionaire Matchmaker, Detroit 1-8-7, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Biggest Loser, DWTS, Parenthood, and much more.

A cyclonic storm is currently bulldozing through the Midwestern US with wind speeds over 100 m.p.h., virtually shutting down the Chicago airport and triggering blizzards in North Dakota and tornado warnings across several states. Worst storm since 1975, they say.