Sure, we could talk about the upcoming release of Lady Gaga's third studio album ARTPOP. Or the controversy surrounding the album's (alleged) first leaked song, the "burqa swag" anthem "Aura."

Emailing your auntie in Pakistan, or your old roommate in France? The NSA's computers already know.

"If that is her, I guess it’s a little weird and disturbing. It’s obviously a behavioral pattern that is way bigger than me,” Drake told XXL Magazine, in response to a question about Amanda Bynes' "I want Drake to murder my vagina" tweet.

When Joel Woloshuk bought a focaccia sandwich last Wednesday at a restaurant in Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, he noticed something moving on the bread. "I'm looking at what I thought was parmesan, right? Then the parmesan started to move," Woloshuk said.

In the wake of this week's surprise sale of the Washington Post to Amazon kingpin Jeff Bezos, it's only natural that the shock waves would roll up north, to the hallowed halls of the New York Times. Would the Times be the next vaunted legacy media property to fall into the soft hands of an internet-rich arriviste (like the Post, like The New Republic, etc.)? According to a new email circulated tonight through the Times Company, from chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and vice chairman Michael Goldman, the answer to that is no.

Miami Beach police today extended their condolences to the family of Israel Hernandez, an 18-year-old who died after cops Tasered him for tagging a building and fleeing.

Before it was demolished today, convicted kidnapper and rapist Ariel Castro's Cleveland house was scoured by investigators for evidence besides the three brutalized women who escaped from the home back in May. The photos yielded from that evidentiary search are grim, and they offer a disturbing look at the atrocities Castro conducted and how much care he took to imprison three women and a child for almost a decade.

Tuesday afternoon, a man fishing at Inlet State Park in New Jersey reeled in an Adidas high-top sneaker, which contained the skeletal remains of someone's right foot. Colored nail polish was still visible on several of the toes, though the gender and age of the victim is still unknown.

Dolphins are quickly proving themselves to be the Camille-at-a-Dinner Party’s of the sea, as a new study has shown they remember things they heard twenty years ago and are not shy about repeating them, even though we were all having a perfectly nice time until you started bring up OLD, TIRED DRAMA, CAMILLE.

A woman who was temporarily put in charge of her friend's children accidentally let one of them drown while she was busy checking Facebook on her phone.

Early Wednesday afternoon, the Twitter account of Ebony magazine raised an alarm about a distressing new campaign targeting the magazine:

The minutes are ticking away, friend, and with them your chance to buy one of two New England lighthouses currently for sale and live in it, like an old retired sea captain or a pirate's ghost. What the hell are you waiting for?

A speeding driver who was endangering the lives of children in Norfolk, Virginia, was expressing his displeasure at being told to slow down by brandishing a gun, when the weapon accidentally discharged and struck him in the groin.

Reader Aileen, in an email whose subject provides the headline of this post, alerts us to a slideshow of a bear riding a Sea-Doo on the website of the Alaska Dispatch, by guide/photographer Graham Morrison. Please enjoy.

Pro tip: Don't joke about child porn, especially when you are on reality TV, or the police might investigate your stupid ass.

"Ultimate" meaning both the greatest and the last, because after this inimitable exercise in pining for lost love, no one will ever dare miss a connection again.

Zionism is racism, says racist Zionist mayor.

Ever heard those theories about how smokers thrive in the workplace because they get in so much networking on their little smoke breaks? Sure, fine. Great for smokers. Now let's snitch about how much smokers cost their employers.

The former child actor best (or, rather, only) known for his starring role as Scott "Scotty" Smalls in the classic coming-of-age film The Sandlot was reportedly arrested last weekend for headbutting a police officer.