A woman tried to sue her lawyers for negligence because they failed to warn her that finalizing her divorce proceedings would end her marriage.

"Distract your subject with hardcore lesbian sex happening right next to him" doesn't seem like a viable interview strategy, but then 2 Live Crew mastermind Luther Campbell is no ordinary interviewer. The, uh, chat above happened in 1997, around the time of the release of Jay's second album, In My Lifetime, Vol. 1. The rapper/mogul pair attempt to discuss Jay Z's music, but that proves impossible, which is the point, I guess? If everyone had two women hooking up next to them, no one would get any work done.

"Still, there's a general sense that the drugs of choice for writers now are more often little blue pills than big brown bottles," writes Adam Gopnik, adding "(You can take the pill, and then send the kids to school.)" So those little blue pills would be, uh... Viagra? Valium? Please don't let it be Viagra.

Justin Bieber is no stranger to egging, but the no-good punk was on the other side of the ovum last night as he allegedly launched an all-out egg assault on his neighbor's house.

Republican Florida Gov. Rick Scott's plan to turn the American dong into a tea party utopia has hit two snags: Jews and the irascible human desire for food that doesn't look and taste like a whale's duodenum.

Early Wednesday morning, Hendrik Helmer woke with a terrible pain in his right ear. Helmer tried to suck out whatever was causing the ache with a vaccum cleaner. That only made the pain worse.

Last night, IFC premiered the three-hour miniseries spoof The Spoils of Babylon. Starring the likes of Tobey Maguire, Kristen Wiig, Tim Robbins, Will Ferrell, and Carey Mulligan (voicing a mannequin love interest), it's one of those bits of pop culture that owes debt to a lot of things while being not quite like anything that ever existed. Created by SNL writers Matt Piedmont and Andrew Steele (and directed by the former), it exists to skewer the epic, multi-night network melodramas of the '70s and '80s (a la The Thorn Birds), which makes it the spiritual cousin of other high-concept retro spoofs that take on the format they're affectionately parodying. What Strangers With Candy was to ABC Afterschool Specials, what Grindhouse was to grindhouse schlock, what Far from Heaven was to women's pictures of the '40s and '50s, and perhaps what Dredd was to dumb '80s action bloodbaths, The Spoils of Babylon is to the network miniseries.

Operation Smile is an international charity group that helps children with cleft palates around the world. It's a worthy cause. So it's too bad the group's job interview process is rather outrageous.

On his day off, a Houston firefighter drove past an 18-wheeler with smoke pouring from its tires. Without his gear or backup, Capt. Craig Moreau was trying to fight the blaze with a small fire extinguisher when the truck's driver pointed to his haul and shouted out, "It's beer! It's all beer!"

It's been several months since Conan O'Brien's last run-in with his assistant producer-slash-archenemy Jordan Schlansky, so it's great to see their mutual animosity hasn't lessened one bit.

Following the lead of Cookie Monster and Batman, a man dressed as Woody from the Toy Story films was arrested Thursday in Times Square on multiple sex charges.

Gwendolyn Boyd was hired this week as the new president of Alabama State University, her alma mater. She'll get a $300,000 salary, free housing, and expenses. But getting ass is out of the question.

Shenanigan makers Model Pranksters send ventriloquist Nigel 'Docta Gel' Dunkley to a NYC subway car to try and pick up girls with the help of a very unusual wingman: His Ventriloquist's dummy.

"As sirens and bells of airplane were going, it was quiet. Everyone knew what was going on," recalled Ferdinand Puentes to KHON.

George Cushingberry Jr. is probably flying high today, and not just because of the Bubba Kush he brought home from the strip club. The recently elected Detroit City Council president pro tem got off with just a ticket after taking the cops for a ride with pot and open liquor in his car.

DNA tests confirm that a former law professor who went to jail for kidnapping a student and using electroshock therapy on her, secretly fathered at least one child by switching in his own sperm at a fertility clinic he worked at

Shezanne Cassim, an American citizen who had been imprisoned in Dubai since April for making a YouTube parody video, was just released and returned to the US. Although he was sentenced to a year in prison last month, the court apparently credited him time served and deported him.

Today Chris Christie gave a two hour press conference denying that he was a part of a diabolical political scheme to punish the mayor of Fort Lee by creating a traffic jam. After the press conference, he went to Fort Lee, where he caused another traffic jam.

Although a federal grand jury indicted Indian consulate head Devyani Khobragade for visa fraud and making false statements today, she probably won't be tried for it — instead the State Department has decided to grant her diplomatic immunity.

A new Gallup poll finds that 58 percent of Americans still have a VCR. What's your favorite VHS?