If you've never read Howard Zinn's delightful and fast-paced A People's History of the United States, now is a good time to start. Amazon's got the e-book priced at $2.49 today, so do some e-commerce in the service of the coming socialist revolution!

The Westboro Baptist Church has at last found its medium. The hate group's over-the-top brand of expressing bigotry for basically anyone who isn't them, it turns out, is perfectly suited for the cut-heavy, silliness-fueled, 6-second world of Vining. It's like they've been an avant garde art project this whole time and only now can they fully express it.

Operation Smile has sent us a statement about their rather insane job interview process, which we have appended to our earlier post. "[Planning] and delivering a fun, social activity, including dinner...helps identify the applicant's strengths and/or weaknesses in communicating, problem-solving skills and teamwork."

This is a polar bear cub taking his first steps at the Toronto Zoo. Good job, bear. Also, this video definitively proves that baby polar bears are better at walking than baby panda bears. For the best bear stories from 2013, click here.

Are you an aspiring PhD in English seeking a coveted tenure-track job? Chances are you'll be in Chicago this weekend for the annual Modern Language Association convention, and you'll be stressed. Why not "indulge in a little stress-relief fantasy role-play" with a successful libidinous leader in your field?

Imagine opening a bag of Scrabble letters and scattering them across the ground. You look down, and "Z-E-N" is spelled out at your feet. Your face remains expressionless. In your hand is an empanada. But it's not time to eat.

A peculiar thing about New Jersey governor Chris Christie's marathon bridge-scandal press conference yesterday was that the longer his performance sprawled on, the smaller it got. The governor apologized and said he took the blame for the fact that his underlings had—without his knowledge—intentionally clogged traffic in Fort Lee. But he put his greatest effort into litigating the minutiae of the case.

Sad news for fans of garbage movies: Shia LaBeouf says he is retiring from "public life." From the actor's Twitter:

The New Jersey State Legislature just dumped hundreds of new documents gathered in the investigation of a Fort Lee traffic jam allegedly engineered by close aides of Chris Christie. Have fun.

Anonymous is at it again—and this time it's personal. The Daily Dot reports that on Wednesday night, the group leaked FBI search warrants related to the government's investigation of hacker group Lulzsec—and revealed that there were more agency moles in the gang than previously thought.

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio found himself on the defensive today following revelations that he eats pizza with a knife and fork. "I've been in Italy a lot," he argued, claiming that he started using (a knife and fork) in his "ancestral homeland."

A judge dropped drunk driving charges against an Asian man last week in part because "different ethnic groups react differently to alcohol intake."

"America has always been a nation where hard work and creativity pay off, where upward mobility was the aspired goal," Michele Bachmann blogged Wednesday, appealing "to lift more people out of poverty." Fuck that noise. You know where it's at? The servant-owning leisure class of English lords and ladies, bitches!

Daddy blogger Doyin Richards spends most of his days recounting the joys of fatherhood on his website, Daddy Doin' Work: Adventures of a First-Time Father Raising His Daughters.

The primary benefits of legalizing weed are the end of the horribly racist and unjustifiable imprisonment of thousands of nonviolent Americans, and awkward columns from old white columnists. A good secondary benefit, though: it costs the police money.

A collision between two trucks—one of which was carrying thousands of bottles of wine—shutdown a major Canadian highway on Wednesday for more than 10 hours. Every one of the bottles from the wine truck reportedly shattered on impact.

That thing in the picture isn't an old granary of the side of I-95. It's a half-finished state-of-the-art test stand for a series of planned space rockets that the U.S. decided not to construct. But the stand is getting finished anyway. Enjoy it, America! You paid more than a third of a billion dollars for it.

Do you like your weed to have a little class? Do you prefer a nice sit-down restaurant to the Taco Bell drive-through when the munchies hit? Then do we have the place for you.

OK, so Lucy got some help from her owner, who turned on the toaster oven before leaving the room, but she still did all the work.