It's a problem we've all experienced: a new beau's yacht is docked uncomfortably close to an ex's yacht. Even with a spacious deck and multiple bedrooms, parlors, and lounge spaces in the hull, everyone could be forced to wave to each other while sunning.

Thanks to a million big-tittied cocktail waitresses, Elin Nordegren is rich off the millions of her ex-husband Tiger Woods. So rich that she bought a $12 million mansion just to knock it down. Now she's going to build a new house on the property. Actually, she's going to build the same exact house.

Tiger Woods' recluse ex-wife Elin Nordegren got a $100 million dollar settlement after her husband fucked every Brandi, Krystal, and Hooter's Waitress Tammi in the entire country. She has so much money now that she's just wasting it by buying mansions and then ripping them down for fun.

Maggie Gyllenhaal lends vibrators to female friends. Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon say their adultery is "like a fairy tale." Kendra Wilkinson describes "sex on a jet ski." Wednesday gossip likes to share.

Kanye West is running his mouth off again, this time showing some sympathy for the devil. J. Lo and Steven Tyler are fighting about money, Ashton Kutcher is a thief, and Lindsay Lohan finally met someone crazier than her. Monday's gossip is revisionist history.

Is Ryan Phillippe robbing the cradle of an actress half his age? Is J. Lo divorcing because she's too controlling? Why did Ed Westwick hide from the paparazzi in a tree? Elin Nordegren's new boyfriend: super sleazy, or super-duper sleazy? Tuesday gossip has questions.

J. Lo shoves Mary-Louise Parker to grab the attention of royals. Jon Hamm gets "absolutely blind drunk." Kristen Stewart gets in a car accident. Elin Nordegren lands a billionaire. TGIFriday gossip.

Kate Middleton's sister usurps Prince Harry as "royal sibling most likely to dance on a banquette." Jesse James hints that Sandra Bullock wasn't that great in bed. Marie Osmond remarries her ex-husband. Thursday gossip knows how to party.

J.Lo's beauty regimen solves unemployment. Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper break up. Elin Nordegren moves back to America. Tom Cruise gives Katie Holmes a sewing machine, so she can make aprons. Saturday gossip is high maintenance.

Ashton and Demi ignore a chorus of boos in Brazil. Charlie Sheen's rehab center is actually just his house. Glee apologizes to Lindsay Lohan. Helen Bonham Carter praises her own "huge breasts." Tuesday gossip is enhanced with video.

A new explanation for Bieber's laser tag freak out emerges. Rooney Mara pierces her nipples. Kim Kardashian will never again go naked. Elin Nordegren got $110 million from Tiger? Monday gossip grapples with the bullying crisis afflicting our gay tweens.

Kim Kardashian: Attacked by hysterical drink throwing woman! Eminem washes his mouth out with soap at home. A television watchdog group goes crazy over starlets. Tiger Woods' ex-wife is a stalker? Saturday Gossip Roundup is a puritan.

The world's most famous shrinking violet retreats to a secret lair of luxury. Hulk Hogan is rushed to the hospital. Police admit Paris Hilton was "treated differently" in jail. The stars of Tuesday gossip are not like you and me.

Elin Nordegren gives her first and last interview. Lindsay Lohan is freed from rehab. Heidi Montag wants her old boobs back, but not before she sells her sex tape. Wednesday gossip declares its independence.

[A post-divorce Elin Nordegren strolls with her son. At least two good things came from the Woods-Nordegren marriage: Their children are obscenely adorable. Image via Splash.]

A joint statement on Tiger Woods' website announces, "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future." The mistress-plagued golfer and his model wife will share child custody. [TMZ]

All that drama from screwing a bunch of hoochies only cost Tiger Woods $10 million, apparently. He's still atop Sports Illustrated's list of highest-paid athletes, having raked in $90 million last year. Elin must be thrilled to hear that, no?

The latest amount that Elin Nordegren will reportedly get in her divorce from Tiger Woods: $100 million. That's a lot of money, but certainly not the $750 million that was originally bandied about. We have a feeling she's not bitching.

TMZ reports that Tiger Woods' soon-to-be-ex Elin Nordegren won't walk away with the $750 million that sources were claiming she'd get. They don't list an amount, but claim it's better than she'd do in the prenup. Let the guessing begin!

In what may be the biggest divorce settlement ever, Tiger Woods is said to be giving ex-wife Elin Nordegren $750 million in exchange for her never speaking of their divorce or his affairs in public. And that's not all.