Google has put the complete archives of the Village Voice online, going back to 1955. So go while away the hours by traveling back to a New York with a fascist mayor, a groundbreaking music scene, and closeted gay people.

Even though no one knows that there's anyone running against him, Mike Bloomberg's numbers are falling. So yesterday, in a campaign speech, he promised to make all the trains run on time.

In Page Six today: a woman was paid to write a book - "How Not to Act Old" - in which she notes that Greenwich Village isn't hip or youthful anymore because you need money to live there. [Page Six]

We start working on Saturday's dick jokes at 9AM, while the mainstream media's still sleeping. Example: the Times - where people read about NYC bomb threats - was eight hours late to one that shut down LaGuardia Airport today.

Felony charges against girlfriend-slashing New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate, a Democrat who briefly caucused with Republicans until the Democrats bought his loyalty back, will not be dropped.

Ha! In a move that's ridiculous and funny and sad all at the same time, the Bloomberg administration is working to rid New York of homeless people by providing them with one-way tickets back from whence they came.

[Yesterday's stormy sky (could have been today's too, really) as seen from a rooftop in the West Village; image via ccho's Flickr]

It's actually kind of pretty and, yes, duh, of course bridges aren't completely fixed and immovable. But still it's a little disconcerting to see just how much these old things shift. Remember a couple years ago when that thing in Minnesota happened and everyone was all "America's infrastructure is crumbling and we're all doomed"? Can we focus some of that attention on New York's bridges, specifically those that go to Brooklyn? Because while I may never again have to set foot in that accursed and undesirable borough, I have many friends who still dwell and toil there and I'd like them to come visit me in my Manhattan palace without dying from bridge collapse on the way.

Ouch, this one hurts. A trend-tracking organization based in Texas has determined that New York is no longer the world's fashion capital. Yeah.

Jon Gosselin has finally settled on a place in New York! After considering a Trump building, the divorcing reality star has opted for The Alexandria, on 72nd between Broadway and West End. Two bedroom place = twice the ladies!

[A street performer leaps over a group of people in Washington Square Park yesterday; image via Edgie168's Flickr. Click through and then on the image for larger.]

[The terribly literary Madison Avenue Baptist Church makes us ruminate on summer today; image via Rafael Chamorro's Flickr]

Speculation regarding Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick moving into ginormous Park Slope digs was wrong! Via some crack NYT investigative reporting, Brooklyn teasing, and reportage bragging, the occupants who ended up in it are just as interesting: Google Bazillionaires.

SoHo's full of all kinds of interesting creatures going shopping on a Saturday afternoon: celebrities, locals, foreign tourists. Competition for their patronage is stiff. But now, John Varvatos can lay claim to the awesome, hot new clientele in town: raccoons!

51% of New Yorkers polled would like a new mayor, and 73% of New Yorkers polled think Mike Bloomberg will be reelected. [Marist via Voice]

[Finally sun in New York! After a month plus of dreary weather, the sun has returned and stayed put (for now). This image, of a sunbather in Riverside Park yesterday, via Ed Yourdon's Flickr]

[July 4th fire last night on the corner of Wythe and North 9th at the Rosenwach Wood Tank Company in the middle of Williamsburg proper. There's no evidence to support hipsters (or hipster-exploiting developers) started it. Photo via everyplace's photostream]

The subway does the strangest thing to people. For example, sometimes, the penises of men will escape their pants! This is a strange phenomenon that's only well-documented in retrospect. Until now. Uncensored flasher action, after the jump.

Things I Did On My July 4th Vacation: hit up The New Museum's Younger Than Jesus exhibition. It's a contemporary art exhibit showcasing only artists born after 1976. It ends today. Here is what I saw, presented without comment.

The utterly stupid, ridiculous clusterfuck that's in Albany is the perfect example of why some citizens decide not to pay their taxes. Someone finally realized as much, so they're not getting any more money until they get back to work.