Oh, Rahm. Why must you meddle? Emanuel and White House political director Patrick Gaspard tried to force New York governor David Paterson out of the 2010 election to make room for Andrew Cuomo and they just made everything worse.

So. Obama sent New York governor David Paterson a letter asking him to not run for governor. Dumb! Because David Paterson is sensitive! And New York needs a governor who does not think everyone is out to get him.

Every day, this city—and especially this city's metered transportation—will invent interesting new ways to kill you. This is actually one of the more traditional ones: a cab crashed into a horse-drawn carriage on the Upper East Side this afternoon. [Gothamist]

The New York Daily News says the FBI fears a "Madrid-style" subway bombing in New York, and the man reported to be the mastermind will hold a press conference today. For better or worse, this is what we voted for.

New York City's primary election is today! As in, right now! And for most offices in this town, this is the de facto general election. Polls close at 9pm, so you even have time to hit happy hour beforehand.

Keith McNally—proprietor of media commissary Balthazar—also owns New York's restaurant of the moment, Minetta Tavern. It's an elusive reservation, because the place is packed with celebrities. But what happens when Gawker Alumnus Jesse Oxfeld tries to get in?

Hmm! Former McCain blogger and current Weekly Standard blogger Michael Goldfarb says his boss says two sources say Hillary Clinton is going to resign as Secretary of State to run for... Governor of New York!(?)

Damn, Standard Hotel: we were this close to enjoying your presence in the Meatpacking District, which needed some legitimate spicing up. Your exhibitionist-friendly windows were all in good fun, until you decided to relocate a Gay Bear/Leather Parade downtown. Villains!

Remember this? Tyra Banks had some kind of bizarre flash mob in Union Square a few weeks ago to promote the season of her new show, Tyra Banks: Attempting To Make You Hate Me Even More. And now, there's video!

Experts agree: New York's own personal recession will continue. For how long remains mystery.

South Street Seaport, one of New York's veritable tourist traps/teen tour stops, had itself a fatal shooting last night when a wild melee broke out on a party boat. Is New York gritty again, again? [NY Post, image via Getty.]

How did Annie Leibovitz end up $24 million in the hole? New York magazine's Andrew Goldman has cataloged her wildly ill-advised spending flourishes. Oh, and the money behind her glorified pawnshop loan came from none other than Goldman Sachs.

Maybe angry nightlife people do have something to be pissed about: rules! A little girl and her dad were surrounded, yelled at, and fined $50 by Parks Department officials in Riverside Park. For having a lemonade stand. [NYP via Gothamist]

Every publication enjoys the "pleasure" of hearing from their readerships often, but especially from crazies, who love to write in. Today, someone's helpful ideas for the beleaguered, layoff-happy New York Observer, involving Jews, horses, and the "Heroic Destiny Squad."

Efforts to turn Vogue into Vogue: Proletariat continue at full speed. They're now making serious attempts to cater to the fatties and unfamous. Their latest? How to get Normals into awesome exclusive restaurants they otherwise wouldn't normally get into.

Ha. Thank you, Bucky Turco, who asks: What's stranger? A relative of Barnes & Noble falling 30 feet through an NYC sidewalk, unhurt, or doing so after leaving an Off Track Betting parlor? [NY Post]

Is two a trend? Today, in the NY Times: Greenwich Village residents who hated Paul Sevigny's uber-hip nightlife destination/coke den, The Beatrice Inn. And in the LA Times: residents speculatively hating the forthcoming Sunset Strip outpost of SoHo House. Viva!

The Sunday Styles finally went to Fashion Meets Finance, an event where Manhattan banker-types and fashion slaves meet, consummate, and procreate certain genetics to create lineages of people you'd rather not know. Their findings are, while nothing new, nonetheless awesome.

I'm not a huge Oprah fan, but there's something about Jay-Z and Oprah walking around the Marcy Projects right now, chatting about whatever, that's really quite wonderful. In other news, thanks, Oprah, for stealing my dream profile assignment. H8Uagain. [RapRadar]

Mayor Bloomberg issued a statement on today's helicopter-plane collision over the Hudson. He called the crash something "we do not believe was survivable." Bloomberg's presser, an aviation expert's theory, and a supposed picture of the water impact, after the jump.