We don't know what it says about where we are as a country that yet another admission of administration bullshit inspires mostly apathy, but whatever: Post biz columnist John Crudele calls out Barron's, the Times, and the Journal for buying into the Labor Department's rosy and very false job growth scenarios. [NYP]
Someone at the New York Post is familiar with the works of Dostoyevsky. Or at least Google. Either way, oddly impressive.
For a variety of reasons we were unable to catch last night's penultimate "Sopranos." We've already informed most of our friends (that is, everyone on IM) not to tell us what happened, and we've avoided every website we know that might reveal any spoilers. This leaves us with very little to read. Oh, well, we thought: At least there's always the newspapers. They'll be safe, right? So if you did happen to see last night's episode, do keep quiet about it; gosh, we'd hate to learn about any surprises!
Poor Alex Rodriguez: You're the highest-paid baseball player in the history of the game and you can't get a little action on the side without the papers making a federal case out of it? Mickey Mantle must be spinning in his grave like a chunk of lamb on a gyro machine. Anyway, the Associated Press notes yesterday's Post headline on the story ("Stray-Rod") and ranks it up there with some of the all-time classics (e.g., "Headless Body in Topless Bar") of the genre. Fortunately, the A.P. tells us that A-Rod's teammates and coaches are fully behind him.
Post scold Andrea Peyser basically has two modes: righteous indignation, and vindictive rage peppered with jokes about ass-rape. Today she's in the latter mode! "The sexual tormentor will never be able to walk without fear of reprisals. Of beatings. Of rape. He will go to bed wondering - is that sexual assault, or are you just making friends?" Also, she knows the real reason why Peter lost his case: "Peter Braunstein was convicted for conducting a 13-hour reign of terror on one woman. But really, the man who dressed up like a hero firefighter, then effortlessly carried out his sickening plan, was taken down for daring to mess with all of our heads." If only everyone who did that had to go away for 25 years! We'd miss this column, though.
Time At Last For Him To Be Scared [NYP]
Nightline looked at the Page Six dust-up last night, and in addition to finally learning just how much weight New York Post chief Col Allan has put on lately, we also learned that Page Six honcho Richard Johnson and company basically just made shit up. We also learn that, somehow, T.V. feels sleazier than print! Oh, also, funny that talking head commenter (and the man most likely to always be wrong!) Michael Wolff's hot daughter is totally a reporter at the Post!
Today's Observer takes an aggressive look at the relationship between the Clintons and the New York Post, specifically wondering whether items about Bill and Hil were changed or killed because of their relationship with Rupert Murdoch. Recall that the Post's treatment of the Clintons seemed to change rather suddenly around the summer of 2005; everyone assumed that Murdoch had suddenly seen the political utility of donating money to Hillary's campaign.
Page Six's crazy—like a fox, perhaps—item today that laid bare some alleged misdeeds of the New York Post has reverberated far and wide. Even New York Daily News' gossip queen Joanna Molloy has been touched by the scandal! We asked Ms. Molloy what she thought about the allegations, particularly those that had to do with Richard Johnson's admission that he accepted $1,000 from restaurateur Nello Balan, presumably in exchange for favorable treatment. Turns out this was sort of a habit of Nello's!
Page Six's public denunciation of former employees Jared Paul Stern and Ian Spiegelman today seemed like an interesting public relations strategy. Why give Spiegelman's accusations of Page Six misconduct an airing right in the paper? So we called up the paper's PR daddy, Howard Rubenstein, to ask him about the thinking behind the item. "They said what they wanted to say publicly—and it's said by the editor—that the allegations are a disgrace, and we have nothing more to say," Rubenstein said. "And they wanted to present it all to the public." Well. Mission accomplished!
If further evidence is needed as to why the Post is the preferred paper of people who still consume newsprint (apart from that whole "only a quarter" thing), look no further than today's review of Shrek the Third:
Confused, confusing Neal Boulton is out as the editor of Men's Fitness, but he's not going to sit around twiddling his thumbs. That book he alluded to in his departure announcement is going to become a reality. It absolutely, totally is. ""I'll be dropping off the proposal on Friday [with William Morris agent Jason Fox]," Boulton told Keith Kelly. "It's a lot more than a theoretical idea to do a book someday." The voluminous proposal's working title is Inside the Politics that Keep America Fat, which sounds like a surefire hit, especially since Neal has so much more name recognition now. But we'd still be a little bit more interested in reading a book called Inside the Politics That Keep Gay Men Married To Lesbian Wives. Maybe he'll get a two-book deal!
Organic Recycling [NYP]
"Put a professional football player, three actors, a reality star and a pop star in a room together, and what do you get?" asks the Post. Answer: something so intensely sad and degrading that it makes us want to move to an isolated cabin far away from this deranged city of has-beens right now. Apparently someone named Jay Galvin, who is paid by clubs to drag in D-listers and is "famous for his vodka and cranberries," has assembled a wannabe 'Entourage'-style posse that is so pathetic that its Vince is purported popstar Ryan Cabrera! Everyone else, including American Idol castoff turned soap star Constantine Maroulis, football player Michael Strahan, Stiffler from American Pie, and the Vote for Pedro guy from Napoleon Dynamite, is sort of Turtle. Once they partied so hard that Ryan threw up inside of his mouth!
From the mailbag:
If you're the kind of person who likes to read an actual paper - and have not yet left the house - we've got some good news for you: Both of the tabs are going for a quarter today, which spares you the agonizing decision of which paper to choose for your interminable commute. We're not sure how long the price war can last, but the Post is clearly on the defensive against the News, which, in a very sweet note, admits that it loves you.
File this under rampant speculation, but we're hearing that Steve Dunleavy—lover of liquor, fighter for justice, friend to ass-sodomizing constabulary everywhere—has put in for retirement from the New York Post. If true (and again, it may not be, conflicting reports, etc.) this represents a staggering blow to the paper: Columnist of the Millennium Andrea Peyser simply can't provide all the tabloid outrage on her own. While we've no idea what Steve's (putative) retirement plans involve, at least it'll give him some much-needed time to pursue his first great love: reading Proust's À La Recherche du Temps Perdu in the original French. Ha, we're just kidding, it's booze. Whether this story pans out or not, please stay tuned for the inevitable rambling screed from photographer and fellow traveler James Edstrom in the comments below.
How does Page Six get all the juicy insider gossip that keeps us paying for the Post, even at fifty cents a pop? Like this tidbit today, for instance:
We just received the following urgent missive:
