If further evidence is needed as to why the Post is the preferred paper of people who still consume newsprint (apart from that whole "only a quarter" thing), look no further than today's review of Shrek the Third:

Now married to Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz), Shrek (Mike Myers) can't stand being a prince - trying to christen a ship with a bottle, he accidentally sinks it - and he has jitters from learning that Fiona is having their baby. Upon the passing of his father-in-law the king, Shrek finds himself the least likely heir apparent since Arthur Sulzberger Jr.

These guys never quit hating! While the analogy is unfortunately incorrect (the guy is named Arthur Sulzberger Jr.; was there anyone more likely to succeed Arthur Sulzberger Sr.?), the fact that the paper lets its little feuds extend all the way to the review of a children's movie shows a level of commitment so intense that it may someday even lead to profitability.

WE'RE OGRE IT! [NYP]