Two New Jersey high school students have been arrested for animal cruelty after allegedly luring a family of geese into the street, running them over and uploading footage of the crime to Snapchat, NBC New York reports.

To cap an exciting holiday weekend, one where we celebrated both our nation’s independence and our women’s soccer team’s World Cup win, some chose to prove they turned up in bigger ways than others. Going to work wildly hungover is one way to do that, while entering a Wawa nude at 6 a.m. on Monday morning is another.

America’s student loan crisis is heavy weight that hangs over the heads of millions of people young and old, often preventing them from living the life they once dreamed of. One New Jersey legislator has a patronizing and useless pseudo-solution to this problem.

Earlier this month, a couple named Derek and Maria Broaddus filed a lawsuit in Union County, New Jersey, alleging their home’s former owners had failed to warn them about a local individual who calls him- or herself “The Watcher.”

A family has been forced to flee their new $1.3 million home in Westfield, New Jersey, after repeatedly receiving threatening packages from a person who calls themselves “the Watcher,” according to a lawsuit filed against the previous owners of the home.

Neptune, N.J., police sergeant Phil Seidle shot and killed his ex-wife Tamara Seidle in front of the couple’s seven-year-old daughter in Asbury Park on Tuesday morning, according to police. After a bizarre 30-minute standoff with police, Seidle was arrested on the scene and charged with murder.

A New Jersey man is suing his former boss for allegedly yanking on one of his testicles during an off-site “team building” meeting, causing severe damage that led to three surgeries and an eventual amputation, the New York Post reports. The ball-busting boss was later fired, but the victim says coworkers made fun of him for being sans one nut.

In most American cities, a man has the right to walk down the street, reach down the nearest sewer, and devour whatever fish me might find therein without being scolded by some government bureaucrat. Unfortunately, that’s no longer true in Newark, New Jersey, where health officials are now claiming sewer fish consumption is “dangerous.”

A priest at a Catholic college in New Jersey announced he had been fired on Friday, saying he was dismissed for posting an image on Facebook supporting an LGBT advocacy group.

Chris Christie, the presumed presidential candidate and jet-setting freeloader currently in charge of New Jersey, spent a staggering $82,594 of taxpayer money on snacks at MetLife Stadium during NFL games, according to a report by WatchDog.org.

David Wildstein, a former Port Authority official and longtime ally of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, is expected to plead guilty to unspecified charges today for the closing of several lanes of the George Washington Bridge in 2013, the New York Times reports.

A Brooklyn man led New Jersey State Police on a 25-mile chase up the Garden State Parkway before crashing his car and being arrested, the New York Daily News reports. Police said that the driver had, amongst other things, 80 pounds of “marijuana candy” in his car.

A deli owner claims the backlash against the “white history month” sign he displayed in his store window during March has put him out of business. So he’s following in the footsteps of that anti-gay-marriage pizza place by asking for money on GoFundMe.

A lawless goat—or a billy the kid, if you will—is currently in custody in New Jersey on a litany of charges, including disorderly behavior, trespass, and first-degree larceny (for stealing my damn heart.)

In a bizarre (and thus plausible) addition to the Legend of DMX, WPIX reports the rapper is accused of acting a fool, losing his cool, and robbing a 21-year-old New Jersey man at a Newark gas station early Easter morning.

A Rutgers student was arrested for attempted murder on Saturday after police say the man removed his clothing and stabbed a classmate in the neck under the influence of LSD, the Associated Press reports.

New Jersey, a state known for its equal number of local heroes, sheroes, and zeroes, has gained itself another member of the boss-applesauce community when a councilwoman from Mahwah flipped two middle fingers to the mayor of her town, calling him a "piece of shit" at a council meeting. Now that's how to get things done.

David Bird, the 55-year-old Wall Street Journal reporter who mysteriously disappeared 14 months ago, was found dead on Thursday. Local authorities tell NBC News and the Associated Press that two men came across Bird’s remains while canoeing in the Passaic River in Morris County, New Jersey.

The hideous waking nightmare of Hoboken, New Jersey's day-long St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl was briefly interrupted on Saturday night when a homeless man set himself on fire in the middle of a street, NJ.com reports.

At first, it went pretty well, as far as Internet dates with men named "Gooch" go. After meeting at Racks Restaurant and Sports Bar in Atco (sample review: "I guess its cool for Atco"), a New Jersey woman took OkCupid match Gennaro "Gooch" Aladena back to her home.