Broadcast networks are hemorrhaging ad revenue. Their news divisions are dwindling. Mainstays of popular TV shows are treated like disposable commodities. What are the networks to do? Well NBC, which reported a 41% profit plunge, has an idea: chase terrorists.

• Bad news for NBC Universal: second-quarter profits dropped by 41%. [MW]
• Good news for NBC News: Susan Boyle's first in-depth TV interview will take place with Meredith Vieira on the Today show next Wednesday. [NYT]
• Alpha Media, the company that owns Maxim (and used to own Blender and Stuff)—and which was sold to Steve Rattner's Quadrangle Group in 2007—has changed hands again: Steve Feinberg's Cerberus now runs the show. [NYP]
• Rumor has it Pamela Fiori may be leaving Town & Country. [P6]
• Bonnie Fuller is taking over Hollywood Life, the website controlled by Jay Penske, who owns Movieline and recently bought out Nikki Finke. [NYT]
• More Finke: Days after the LA Times ran an article on Hollywood's most powerful blogger comes pretty much the same piece in the NY Times. [NYT]
• All that bad press for CNBC a few months ago must have refocused the network on the things that matter, right? Nope. [Gawker, Zero Hedge]

In your salvation-drenched Thursday media column: Media career ascension! An available media job! People buying newspapers! People saving newspapers! People saving Paste magazine! Huzzah!

• The New York Times Co. is selling its classical radio station WQXR to WNYC Radio and Univision as part of a "complex deal." One thing that isn't complex: The sale will pump a much-needed $45 million into the paper's coffers. [NYT]
• Is Rupert Murdoch planning to buy the Daily News from Mort Zuckerman? That's what some are suggesting, although Mort is denying it. [DailyFinance]
• McGraw-Hill shouldn't expect to make much from the sale of BusinessWeek. In fact, the company may be forced to give the magazine away. [FT]
• Neil Patrick Harris has signed on to host this year's Emmy Awards. [NYDN]
• Russell Brand will be the host of the MTV Video Music Awards. [Vulture]

Bernie Madoff's only remaining purpose in life is to be exploited by the media. Who will land the first jailhouse TV interview with the villain? We handicap the possibilities, below.

If you've wondered whether John McCain, in light of recent events, has felt a heightened sense of shame for choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, we have an answer: No! Further, she may have quit because of thinning hair.

• Desperate times, desperate measures: The New York Times is thinking about charging a $5 monthly fee for access to its Web site. [BN, NYP]
• Jay-Z is close to signing a book deal with the Spiegel & Grau imprint of Random House; the book will include "the stories behind his lyrics." [NYO]
• Moneyball lives: Sony Pictures is attempting to salvage the movie by hiring Aaron Sorkin to polish the script and adding Scott Rudin as a producer. [NYT]
• A list of prominent media/web people and their public speaking fees. [PC]
• The media moguls in Sun Valley may not be interested in buying Twitter, but there is some good news: The British royal family has signed up! [AP]
• Discovery Channel has been promoting "Shark Week" by sending out bloody swim trunks and personalized obituaries to reporters. Charming. [Movieline]
• Depressing news: Ryan Seacrest makes a lot more money than you do. [THR]
• Great news: NBC's Jeff Zucker says we may have reached bottom. [B&C]

• The Sci Fi Channel is now called Syfy. It's pronounced the same way, except it's less science fiction-y, which is why it was changed to begin with. [THR]
• Justin Timberlake has tapped lit agent David Vigliano to sell publishers on the notion that Timberlake is just the person to write a book about golf. [NYO]
• After a heated, two-year battle, big record labels and online radio stations have finally agreed on new royalty rates for streaming music online. [NYT]
• Who says embattled media companies are doing their best to spend money more wisely? The soundstage for Jay Leno's new primetime show will be "specially fitted to accommodate his passion: expensive cars." [THR]
• "Online predators" have hit Twitter. Paging Dateline's Chris Hansen! [LAT]
• A new study finds that kids are spending more time online. Surprise! [AP]
• Equally shocking: Breaking the Jackson story has boosted TMZ's traffic. [AP]

NBC's Matt Lauer, CNN's Larry King and ABC's Cynthia McFadden have all been dispatched to the Neverland Ranch to anchor programs tomorrow from the Michael Jackson corpse-viewing that Jackson's family says was never scheduled in the first place. [TV Newser]

Barack Obama's bizarre alliance with NBC continued last week when the White House invited network chief/seasoned clubrat Ben Silverman over for a highly publicized meeting just in time for the launch of Silverman's shitty new show, The Philanthropist.

• Despite unkindly reviews from most critics, the Transformers sequel racked up $112 million at the box office over the weekend, bringing its five-day gross to more than $200 million. [THR]
• Don't worry too much about the New York Times going under. AdAge reports the paper should be in business until at least 2011. [AdAge]
• Viacom is not going to buy MySpace from News Corp., alas. [Reuters]
• NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker is so concerned about the situation at the company's film division, he's sending his CFO to LA to crack skulls. [NYP]
• More bad news for the TV biz: According to a new report, the industry faces a $2 billion ad slump over the next four years. [FT]
• Not only did the New York Times keep news of reporter David Rohde's kidnapping a secret, the paper kept it off of Wikipedia, too. [NYT]
• MSNBC's is hoping broadcasting in HD boosts ratings. [B&C]
• Kate Gosselin's next book has been postponed; you can guess why. [NYP]
• VH1 has two new hip-hop-themed reality shows in the works. [THR]

• Both NBC and ABC plan to pre-empt regular programming this evening to air specials devoted to coverage of the Jackson story. E!, MTV, and CNN (among others) have specials airing over the next few days, too. [NYT, THR]
• Time is publishing a special Jackson "commemorative edition" on Monday. For its part, Rolling Stone has a "bookazine" in the works. [NYT, NYT]
• How newspapers around the world covered the Jackson news. [Guardian]
• And how the Jackson story kind of broke the Internet. [ABC News]

• ABC and NBC will face off on Thursday night with competing tributes to Farrah Fawcett, who died today. But you probably expected that, no? [NYT]
• David Letterman beat out Conan in the ratings last week, the first time the Late Show has dominated the weekly ratings since 2005. [THR]
• Rosie O'Donnell will debut a new show on Sirius XM this fall. [NYDN]
• Rumor has it Ben Silverman's tenure at NBC may be ending soon. [DHD]
• Fox News now averages the same number of viewers as CNN, MSNBC, and HLN combined. Cue an evil grin across Roger Ailes's face. [THR]
• Wired editor-in-chief Chris Anderson's new book contains material he ripped from Wikipedia. But he's really, really sorry about it, okay? [NYP]

Matt Lauer just reported on the Today Show that former Johnny Carson sidekick and TV host Ed McMahon passed away last night at the age of 86. No word is currently available on the cause of death. [MSNBC]

• It's been two years since Ben Silverman became co-chairman of NBC Entertainment. And what a two years it's been, huh? [LAT]
• The largest union at the Boston Globe will vote on a new contract on July 20, even though it's yet to iron out a deal with the New York Times Co. [BG]
• Reader's Digest's plan to remain relevant: It's going to become even more conservative and old-fashioned, and embrace religion and stuff. [NYT]
• How are some newspaper reporters dealing with unemployment? They're turning to careers as go-kart racers. Just as you suspected. [Fortune]

Someone is shopping a tape of Leighton Meester boning an ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson gets hit by a cab, Jennifer Garner tries to breakup Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith, Susan Boyle goes bonkers again and Beyonce screws over a club owner.

William Shatner, looking bloated, red-faced, sweating, and acting as though he was either high or drunk or both, was a guest for the ages on Conan's Tonight Show tonight. God bless him.

• It's an ugly day at MySpace. The News Corp.-owned social network is slashing nearly 30 percent of its staff, or 400 people, due to a decline in sales. [BN, PC]
• Protesters in Iran have been using Twitter to keep up with developments on the ground. Now the State Department is stepping in and asking the company to put off a planned upgrade so service isn't disrupted. [Reuters]
• MTV entertainment president Brian Graden is departing the network. [NYP]
• It's official: NBC is dumping Live at Five and replacing it with an hour-long "daily information, lifestyle and entertainment show." [NYO]
• Interview dropped editorial director Glenn O'Brien last week. Now the magazine's parent company, Brant Publications, is suing him for allegedly breaking the terms of his confidentiality agreement. [WWD]

David Letterman, who has been quietly doing his second-place late night joker show over on CBS like forever, is all of a sudden beating the Tonight Show in the ratings. Calling Sarah Palin a slut really pays off!

Heidi Pratt was rushed to a hospital in Costa Rica last night for some kind of stomach infection while filming/quitting I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Our source calls the entire thing out.