Richard Elwood Sanden was having sex with a lady when he realized she wasn't breathing. He called the cops, who—after reviewing the contents of Sanden's video camera—arrested him for necrophilia. His excuse: He didn't know she was dead.

An illiterate deaf man who knows no sign language is being prosecuted in Pennsylvania. His linguistic deficit is either his biggest problem—particularly for participating in his defense—or the greatest loophole in his criminal career, depending who you ask.

Police arrested Cornell senior Keri Blakinger while she was holding $150,000 worth of heroin, which she confessed was hers. A Cornell Daily Sun staffer, Keri posed in bikinis on Facebook—and hung out in a notorious drug den.

A Connecticut man was so drunk the other night that he crashed his truck into someone's house. It was his fourth time being busted for drunk driving. He also wore a t-shirt that says, "I have a drinking problem..."

When a deejay offered six figures for a forehead tattoo, David Jonathan Winkelman did it—and then everyone laughed at him and said it was a joke. Now he has to relive the humiliation with a mugshot gone viral.

Collect all four Lindsay Lohan mugshots, and get 10 percent off your next dimebag of cocaine! At top left, Lohan's newest booking photo, taken after she was sent back to jail today for failing a drug test.

This tattooed, horned fellow is named Jesse Thornhill. He was recently arrested for attempting to run down his landlord. In a 1996 Ford Windstar minivan. Naturally, we have some questions for Mr. Thornhill. Such as:

Thanks to Poltergeist, John Wayne Gacy, and their creepiness in general, everyone is scared of clowns. Add to the mix Pedro Artega Velazquez who was arrested while juggling in full makeup on a street corner in Juarez, Mexico.

Sonja Morgan, one of the Real Housewives of New York, was arrested on a DWI charge in Southampton, Long Island on Monday. She refused to take a breathalyzer, but failed a field sobriety test. No cops were harmed. [News 12]

Faisal Shahzad isn't the first terrorist I've had a crush on, but is it just me or is the new photo of the Times Square bomber not nearly as cute as old ones? The clink isn't good for his complexion.

[This gentleman was arrested for a violating his parole and shaving his mustache. Don't ask what "it" is. Pic via The Smoking Gun]

Cambridge, Mass. hedge fund manager Richard Grubman threw an alleged hissy fit at the Boston Ritz-Carlton yesterday, shouting "obscenities" and flinging his BMW's keys at a valet's face. Charged with felony assault and battery, his mug shot conveys deep distress.

Killing infidels sure ages a fellow. The FBI just released "age progressed" mugshots of America's most wanted terrorists. You'll be pleased to hear that Osama's luscious pout has withstood the sands of time.

We have a mug shot for "money honey" and Orszag-fiancee Bianna Golodryga. (She was arrested for drunk driving, and pleaded no contest. Just like it was no contest between her and Peter's old girlfriend am I right?) [NYDN]

Ah, yes: always good for laughs is someone getting tazed and then spontaneously combusting into flames. Okay, maybe not hysterical, but Fox News anchors still can't not giggle at the guy's mugshot, and then, make a joke about keyboard cleaner.

Computer hackers and the perpetrators of securities fraud are having quite a moment, aren't they? This week, the man behind the largest computer hacking case in U.S. history, Albert Gonzalez, was taken into custody and he now finds himself in a (computer-less) jail cell in Brooklyn facing charges he made off with 135 million credit and debit card numbers. And we certainly don't have to tell you that 2009 as been a banner year for fraudsters armed with all any number of financial schemes designed to line their pockets and empty your own. But can you tell the difference between a computer hacker and fraudster just by looking at them? And could you differentiate a rogue techie and evil financial genius from a garden variety pedophile? It's harder than it looks! Below you'll find a sampling of mugshots of men who have been arrested for one of the three crimes. It's up to you to tell them apart. Good luck!

Newly-released billionaire massage aficionado and Ron Burkle pal Jeffrey Epstein is officially a registered sex offender in Florida. His brand new "Sexual Offender/ Predator Flyer" also includes a map to his house! Smirk less, Jeffrey. [Cityfile]

• It looks like it's over for Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Please excuse us while we go get a big box of tissues; we really weren't mentally prepared for news this upsetting this morning. [People, Sun]
• A couple of weeks ago, it was Gwynnie Paltrow who was getting blamed for setting A-Rod up with Kate Hudson. Now real estate "superagent" Adam Modlin is taking credit for brokering the transaction. Go figure. [NYDN]
• Maybe Kanye West and Amber Rose didn't break up, after all. Or maybe they did break up, but they're spending a lot of time together anyway? It's a mystery, really. [P6]
• Coco Rocha is not going to be an intern at Vogue this summer. She's just spending a lot of time there so she can "learn more about the business." [WWD]

Producer extraordinaire Phil Spector killed somebody and went to jail and now he's not allowed to wear his wig. How unfortunate for everyone involved. Click through for Spector, be-wigged:

Following his conviction on second-degree murder charges in a Los Angeles court, music producer Phil Spector was immediately taken into custody. TMZ obtained his mug shot; click through for a larger version.