Horned Man Attempts to Murder Landlord with Minivan
This tattooed, horned fellow is named Jesse Thornhill. He was recently arrested for attempting to run down his landlord. In a 1996 Ford Windstar minivan. Naturally, we have some questions for Mr. Thornhill. Such as:
- A 1996 Ford Windstar?
- Really?
- Was there really no more amicable way to settle your dispute?
- Did you think you could escape unidentified?
- How long did it take to put together a lineup?
- I mean, couldn't hire a mediator, or something?
- Your face...? That's the whole question.
- Seriously, though. A Windstar?
Thornhill, for what it's worth, has bonded out of jail after being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. (The weapon is his Windstar.) His mother has said that she, and Thornhill's landlord, "had been having problems with her son."