Vince Shlomi, better known as the ShamWow! guy, was arrested for beating up a hooker who tried to eat his tongue. She was arrested too. The Smoking Gun got her mug shot, and it's brutal.

Pictured is the customized credit card delivered to David Mackie, a 35-year-old salesman from Oklahoma who had the simple dream of wanting to see Nick Nolte's mugshot every time he paid for something with plastic.

As Page Six reported this morning, Nevan Donahue, the sexually ambigious regular on The City whose big claim to fame in life is that he's Olivia Palermo's cousin, was arrested for soliciting a prostitute in Palm Beach in 2007. Click on the photo to see his mugshot and booking sheet. And keep in mind that there's still a warrant out for his arrest, so if you spot him out and you feel like taking justice into your own hands and snapping cuffs around his wrists, you can be assured the gratitude of the Palm Beach Police Department. [HuffPo]

In Newbury, Vermont, nobody touches you. They're always behind this metal and glass. Matt Dillon thinks we miss that touch so much, he drove at an insane 106 mph before being busted by police yesterday.

We've learned of legal troubles befalling the House of Pullman—that's Bill Pullman, to be exact, former U.S. President during our darkest alien-invading hour—involving his son Jack, who was arrested Monday in North Carolina for "allegedly possessing moonshine and assaulting a government official." Witnesses say the three Xs on the jug Pullman was buzzing into while his friend plucked a washtub bass offered the first indications that illicit, home-distilling activities were afoot.The chilling mugshot above reveals the wild hair-frizzing and pout-paralysis that are the most common physical side effects from abusing rotgut. For heaven's sake, just say no to white lightning: It's destroying the fabric of America. [Photo credit: Asheville Police / Splash News Online]

Having played everything in his long career from Barbra Streisand's sodomy-repressing patient in The Prince of Tides to a hook-handed war diarist in the upcoming Tropic Thunder, it seems a small tragedy that the single image most associated with permagrizzled thespian Nick Nolte is his infamous mugshot. Generally regarded as the gold standard to which all celebrity booking photos are held, there was virtually no aspect of the portrait that failed to convey a purity of wrongness: the sunken features, the pained grimace, the waterlily print buttoned up to the neck, and, of course, that shock of stringy chaos atop his head, defying all laws of physics as if fashioned by some oversugared pre-schooler out of a box of golden pipe-cleaners. Entire post-graduate seminars were dedicated to exploring its mysteries and beauty. So imagine our shock when the model himself finally revealed the true story behind its conception on The Tonight Show. This wasn't a mugshot at all, it turns out, but Nolte's selfless contribution to the Sacramento Policemen's Annuity and Benefit Fund.

Anyone looking for an edge in what promises to be a bitterly contested election year should consider the strategy of Chris Monzel, a Cincinnati city councilman who this week apologized for "accidentally" classifying Rip Torn as a sexual predator during his successful 2007 reelection campaign. Apparently the incumbent's staff determined his tough-on-crime message would be best evinced by plastering a mug shot in one of its television commercials, which led to trolling the celebrity photos archived at The Smoking Gun. The rest is history — misbegotten, completely stupefying history:

As we write this, recent CSI casualty Gary Dourdan is likely recovering from an even gnarlier Coachella hangover than most: TMZ reports the actor was discovered by Palm Springs police asleep in his car at 5:21 a.m., upon which he was arrested on "suspicion of possession of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs," otherwise known as the bare minimum required to make a Jack Johnson set seem remotely exciting. His genuinely pained mugshot—we seriously can't stare at it for more than a few seconds—is pictured above. Developing...

· Whew! For a minute there, we thought that Celebrity Rehab miracle worker Dr. Drew had somehow figured out a way to exorcise Andy Dick of the booze-craving demons that make him Hollywood's most lovable, semi-recovering addict. But once a bottle of beer, a bicycle, and an eager audience of photographers were introduced, even the good doctor's famed sobriety coaching never stood a chance. [via TMZ]
· A bold prediction: Bedazzled mugshots will be all the rage with the troubled starlet set in '08, a trend that will add some much-needed flair to the uniformly dreary prison-intake photography that was the hallmark of the previous year.
· Hunky SF mayor Gavin Newsom decides to marry an actress, but we've fallen so hopelessly out of touch with his ill-advised dips into the Hollywood dating pool that we mistakenly thought he was still shacked up with the one from CSI: Miami. We regret the error, and promise to pay more careful attention to the candidates for his eventual third marriage.
· How many dudes can Lindsay Lohan hook up with in a 24-hour period? This many.

Pencils down, everyone! We have the Official Mischa Barton 2007 Drugs-And-Alcohol, Not Just Alcohol, DUI Mugshot for you courtesy of TMZ—and it's a doozy. We can practically hear Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" playing over it. Those of you who guessed half-smile, you win. Those of you who guessed Nick Nolte hair, you win too. And to astute commenter Muzzy Van Hossmere, who went all in with the "'crying from one eye' technique she perfected on The O.C.," well—you've won big, our friend. Your wall-sized, Warholian lithograph of the image, suitable for framing, is in the mail.

True, celebrity mugshots bring us joy all year round, but there's something about the final few of the year, as reassuring as a Happy Everything card dropped in our mailbox from an old friend, that truly touches us in the most tender quadrants of our hearts: a happy reminder that regardless of what strife is thrown at us, life in Hollywood will go on. And so we share with you this booking photo of stalwart recidivist Michelle Rodriguez, who checked herself into former Hilton-rehabilitating facility Lynwood on Sunday for the first of a Kiefer-eclipsing 180-day sentence for failing to perform court-ordered community service and drinkin' on the SCRAM.

Oh, New York Public Library, with your commission of understated and nuanced portraits of the characters our modern times. If you're going to put a big ol' bullseye that says "Tap Me" smack dab in the middle of the Rose Reading Room, at least Photoshop Cheney into a cleavage-baring scarlet saloon number.

While his smirking mugshot, featuring low-grade Noltian hair and a short Van Dyke, isn't likely to send our commenters into a lather the way Shia LaBeouf's did, there's still something unmistakably titillating about Mickey Rourke's DUI booking photo. Perhaps it was the circumstances around the arrest, which could only have been more adorable had the actor been stopped winding through Miami streets early this morning on a miniature clown bicycle:

Verdict: Not a good look. There's a reason Natasha Lyonne always kept her mouth shut in pictures. Also, what, does she drunkenly iron her hair at night? Related: For those keeping score at home? It is not even 10 a.m. in Los Angeles and TMZ.com is up to 16 Lindsay Lohan posts. [Image: Splash]

While the recently disseminated mugshots of Chris "Formerly of HBO" Albrecht and David "Bud Bundy" Faustino did little but remind us of the vaguely depressing fact that the rich and famous don't photograph any better than the average person with a camera jammed in their face at their lowest moment, in the right hands, these booking photos can aspire to something like Art. (Though we might argue that Nick Nolte needed no such help.) BoingBoing points us to the "Warholized" version of some of notable jailhouse subjects featured in the Hollywood's Most Wanted exhibit currently on display at the ArcLight, where moviegoers waiting for their screening to start can wander over from the nearby display exposing Shrek the Third's cinematic secrets and experience Mel Gibson's impishly unrepentant grin in a new way.

It's the annual dilemma we all have: What to get for that special PR girl (or reckless driver) on our Christmas list?