Technically only one actual Brazilian model has died so far — Ana Carolina Reston, shown here, who succumbed to anorexia-related infections after her tomato-apple diet kept only 88 pounds on her 5'8" frame. (This beat out the August death of Uruguay's model Luisel Ramos, 98 pounds at 5'9", who lived on "lettuce leaves and Diet Coke.") But three other young non-model Brazilian ladies have died from hyper-thinness in the last few weeks, causing the unwelcome sight of "awareness" rearing its ugly fat head among the international fashion set. Supposedly, Giorgio Armani's agents in Sao Paulo had even complained that Reston was "too thin," making Armani a veritable weight crusader in his field. Sao Paulo Fashion Week has no plans to adopt the draconian health requirements of Madrid Fashion Week, though they promise to only use emaciated girls age 16 or older. Progress marches on.

Lost amidst all the brouhaha over illegal immigration, border fences, Minutemen, Lou Dobbs, etc., is the fact that there's a significant population of people who really need to get into this country, like, right now, and all those people sneaking in really aren't helping the cause! We're talking, of course, about foreign chefs who need to work at high-end New York restaurants so that Frank Bruni has something else to write about, who are apparently having trouble getting into the U.S. because the INS doesn't consider chefs to be workers with "extraordinary ability." Also, getting a specialty visa (one of 65,000 distributed annually) is pretty tough, because "these visas are often snatched up first by other foreign professionals, including fashion models." We're picturing a reality show, kind of like a Top Chef/Project Runway hybrid, with Padma Lakshmi hosting. The prize, of course, is a green card, and the chefs and the models are on different teams, and it would be kind of like the Apprentice, and they'd all be living in the same house, like the Real World, and then the chefs would hit on the models ... Hey, is this how reality shows get made?

A high-living (seriously, he's always high) tipster writes to us regularly about his fancy lifestyle, gushing about the posh clubs he's professionally obligated to scope out. We'll leave it to you to guess at his identity. One hint: he's quite the Hottie. Anyway, he was at swanky 205 last night, and he overheard this memorable snippet of dialogue from a woman he succinctly describes as "a model:"

We originally ran a large version of the image at right, but it caused a cascade of burst blood vessels in our frontal lobe. Witness the power of formerly blonde moppet socialite model critter Lydia Hearst, freshly redheaded because she's all about change. Hearst tells the New York Post, "There is no other standout redhead on the runway." She actually was kinda cute and doll-like with the blondeness, but when she does that skull-splitting grin thing with the red hair and shellacked complexion ... well, the brain-damaging giant-size pic is after the jump. Steel yourself, then judge.

Just when fashion twigs thought they'd successfully fended off anti-skinny assaults, London mayor Ken Livingstone has declared he'll terminate the city's financial support of London Fashion Week if the fest doesn't ban anorexically thin girls (as Madrid did for their fashion week). It's a significant threat, as London has forked over 620,000 to Fashion Week during the last three years. No official response yet from LFW organizer British Fashion Council, but one commenter on the Daily Mail story adopts a variation on the Lagerfeld line: "These models only stand out because most people are overweight and eat far more than the body needs. There is a lot of jealousy involved." If only everyone else wasn't so goddamn fat, these tiny girls wouldn't look so weird, you see?

• Guess who's back on the sauce? Mel Gibson, that's who. There's no way he could get through the high holidays sober. [Scoop]
• Contrary to reports, Madonna did not adopt a baby boy in Malawi, nor does she ever feel the need to stoop to that Jolie bitch's level. [People]
• Cobble Hill! Park Slope! Grups! Coffeehouse turf wars! We hate Brooklyn! [Brooklyn Papers]
• Promoter of overpriced social functions turns to promoting overpriced charity water. [NYSun]
• NYC Google office functions as mid-90s-flashback goatee farm. [PSFK]
• The Times' Freemason Article Quota is satisfied. [Animal]
• It's our third O'Donnell mention in a single day, but Rosie's totally up in the Pope's grill. God forbid, literally. [WND]
• Crystal meth: untapped marketing tool. [Towleroad]
• For every question you ask Warren Beatty, he'll take 15 minutes to answer. This doesn't reflect his thoughtfulness so much as his senility. [The Reeler]
• Suspected Project Runway cheat takes to MySpace comments boards for his self-defense. [Blogging Project Runway]
• Every time a model falls, and angel gets his wings. [TMZ]

I think it's discrimination [to ban underweight models]. We are skinny, this is our work. There are lots of overweight people working in offices but I'm not going to say "This girl is fat, she can't work in an office."

Consumerist notes some particularly dodgy research reported in Britain's Sun: Women prefer skinny models.

Even though it rarely has much in the way of bothersome words, we regularly return to the Confessions of a Casting Director blog just for the endless procession of candid model photos, all with the same neutral, medicated expression. Many of these snapshots would not look out of place accompanying a ransom note and a small, severed body part. One wrapup gallery of favorites from Fashion Week is particularly striking; COCAD dubs them the MySpace model generation, since they are "a bit wiser, a bit cooler and a bit real. They are a bit shorter, a bit smaller and a bit skinnier. They know the fashion, they know the magazines and they know the internet." Thank God someone is coming to the defense of even skinnier models here in the USA, unlike the porkers taking over in Spain and Australia. Ah, but they also know the Internet. Just look into the eyes of "Darla." She's wise. She's seen things, man. She's only "a bit" real, though. And unfortunately, as a MySpace model, she's the property of Rupert Murdoch.

Really, you're just not going to see a lede better than this:

In case you're wondering who or what Naomi Campbell's been beating lately, the abusive model — who's dealing with three lawsuits from former assistants — recently caused $54,000 worth of damage to the luxury yacht belonging to her then-boyfriend Badr Jafar. It was really all the chef's fault, you see, as his "tomato, mozzarella and dried ham starter with white wine" failed to please Campbell, who announced the culinary failure with a heated verbal reprimand that quickly became a shouting match. The chef made the mistake of screaming back, which obviously meant that Campbell had to throw plates and rip apart cushions and curtains. As this ultimately caused $54,000 worth of damage to Jafar's boat, Campbell and her beau have since parted ways the only way Campbell knows how — with a police presence. The UK Sun reports that Campbell went to Jafar's London residence on July 10 to pick up her belongings, a visit which went so amicably that Campbell was arrested for causing a "disturbance" outside.

Will someone please just give wee homeless model mini-memoirist Isobella Jade a book deal already? Or at least a sandwich? (The junior cheeseburger deluxe from Wendy's is apparently her favorite.) Metro has a short interviewlet with the homeless pixie who dwells, CHUD-like, in the crevices of the Soho Apple Store:

Another battered woman formerly in the employ of modeling warlord Naomi Campbell has come forward to share her bruises with the world: 20-year-old Amanda Brack filed suit against the model yesterday, citing assault, battery, false imprisonment and infliction of emotional distress. Sadly, her lawsuit is vague on details of the carnage, but the suit claims that soon after Brack was hired, "Campbell initiated a series of verbal and physical and emotional attacks against [Brack] such that plaintiff suffered both physical and emotional injuries." Brack stayed on board, however, for the exotic locales in which she was abused, accompanying Campbell on trips to Brazil and Morocco. Like many of Campbell's previous victims, Brack was accused of stealing, but she somehow escaped the shuriken BlackBerry. Despite the utter lack of bloodshed, Brack then quit. Pussy.

Hey cutie, need a place to sleep tonight? Let me get my head out of this bird's nest, and I'll hook you right up. If you're a defenseless model lost in a world filled with horrible people who aren't models, merely submit your vitals to ModelsHotel.com, the new antisocial network created by 24-year-old modeloid Jesper Lannung, above with gloves. The "gated community" of ModelsHotel will accept only professionally represented models, as opposed to the "'poseurs and wannabes' on MySpace." One alleged benefit is the chance for models to escape to their own selectively arranged group housing, as opposed to the little hamster cages run by their agencies. But who's going to change the newspaper in the corner and freshen the kibble?

We simply can't look away from tragiumphant Isobella Jade, the bewitching ragamuffin who has been living out of a suitcase and working herself as a succesful 5'2" model. FishbowlNY first discovered Isobella's genius when she pitched her memoir in an email written completely in the third person; her story focuses on her rise to vagrancy and was written entirely while in the Soho Apple Store, the office of choice for many an itinerant genius.

FishbowlNY introduced us yesterday to "perhaps the most successful model in nyc under the height of 5'4," Isobella Jadeco, a successful-yet-homeless young woman pitching her life story, in the third person, as entirely composed in the Soho Apple Store. They've followed up with a brief interview, in which we learn that Isobella was actually a successful nude model (there's the catch). Also, she admits that she may have misrepresented herself:

The sexy/hungry young lady at right is Isobella Jadeco, a homeless jane-of-all-trades who, despite her vertically challenged lot in life, has become "perhaps the most successful model in nyc under the height of 5'4." But for all of her petite success, Jadeco is living out of a suitcase and trying to pitch her memoir, composed entirely in the Soho Apple Store. She pitches FishbowlNY in the third person:

Grab your PDA and chuck it at your nearest co-worker, because it's supermodel Naomi Campbell's 36th birthday! The violent beauty kicked off her celebration yesterday in Dubai, where's she's rented 18 floors of the Burj Al Arab. The party is being hosted by boyfriend Badr Jafar and will last three days; yesterday's theme was all white, tonight's is hip-hop, and tomorrow will be "Brazilian Samba." The guestlist reportedly includes Linda Evangelista, Eva Herzigova, and David and Victoria Beckham — all of whom would rather trek to the sweltering middle east than be on Naomi's bad side.