In what may be the most oddly compelling interview we've seen in a while, Janice Dickinson, the world's first supermodel (and living proof that plastic surgery for necks is nowhere near as advanced as plastic surgery for faces) talks to The Book Standard about her latest work, Check, Please!, a dating guide. Janice, who actually seems more intelligent than her interlocutor, shares her insights on the following topics:

This past Friday, billionaire shakedown victim Ron Burkle spent some much-needed QT with Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen. We're confident that the circumstances weren't romantic - no matter what you hear, the laws of the universe will never bend such that the princess actually wants to fuck the frog. Rather, Burkle looks a bit anxious:

We hear the same story, time and time again: a gorgeous young model mistakes the exit door on her bus for the bathroom door and, as a result, hits the highway at 40 mph. Russian model Tatyana Simanava did exactly that yesterday, dislocating her shoulder, smashing her arm, and damaging her face (remarkably, she's otherwise OK). So what happened, exactly? Simanava was en route to a glamorous Staten Island photo shoot and, while exiting the bathroom, mistook the RV exit for the door she had used to originally enter the loo. Writes the Daily News:

• "His ability to remain totally upright when sprinting, as if carrying an invisible egg and spoon—what are these, if not the techniques of an alien life force who has just graduated summa cum laude in advanced human behavior?" Tom Cruise, watch out — the New Yorker is onto you, and Sy Hersh might be looking for a new beat. [NYer]
• Apple v. Apple, resolved: the Beatles' record label loses to Apple computers, meaning that we can all download the boys on iTunes with reckless, 99-cent abandon. [Variety]
• Glamour EIC Cindi Leive has been named the new prez of the American Society of Magazine Editors. Just another damn responsibility for her assistant. [FishbowlNY]
• 60 Minutes may get Anderson Cooper, but they only get him 5 times per year. He'll be filling Christine Amanpour's part-time position — what we lose in classy accents, we make up for in piercing pools of blue. [AP]
• Kaavya Viswanathan may have fucked up, but she's no James Frey. Give the girl a crackpipe, though, and anything's possible. [USA Today]
• New Jersey's new tourism slogan, "Come See For Yourself," is wisely abandoned. As it turns out, West Virginia is already using the catchphrase, along with the Dakotas and any other states no one would willingly see for themselves. [Adfreak]
• Behold the unimpressive aesthetics of the Art Rock show at Rockefeller Center. Glance now and save yourself the effort of going to the real thing. [Animal]
• Elle creative director Gilles Bensimon loses a 14-year-old beauty to a 17-year-old amateur. So, who's the young waif in question? And why is Gilles such a dirty old man? [Breakfast]

• NB to Scarlett Johansson: You're ours, bitch. You're just pretty property of the paparazzi. If you continue to fight it, you'll only continue to embarrass yourself. [Gilded Moose]
• Uh, breaking? Britney Spears did not have a press conference today to address pregnancy rumors. So, you know, back to rampant and unfounded speculation. [BlogNYC]
• One man dared to follow Tom Cruise all over town yesterday. That man is to be respected, but only from afar. Get too close, and he seems kind of scary. [Confessions of a Celebrity Stalker]
• Now that Mexico has legalized marijuana, cocaine, and heroin, you'll have a much easier time deciding on a vacation locale. [NY Sun]
• When it comes to Kaavya Viswanathan satire, Forbes' Karl Shmavonian gives Mediabistro's Laurel Touby a run for her money. [Forbes]
• Our dark master emerges from his gilded loft! Oh, the sunlight, how it stings! [Blogebrity]
• In the Times' write-up of the Costume Institute Gala, there's but one line you need to read to understand it all: "'Can you believe they're giving us pies?' a British model said when a lamb pie was put in front of her." [NYT]
• Herve Villachez, just because we feel like it. [Pimpadelic Wonderland via Vidiot]

As we wait for the Payola Six scandal to churn up something new and interesting, we return to one of first questions: What was billionaire Burkle trying to hide? More on his young model habit, from the Livejournal of a reported part-time model/American Apparel employee:

Seeing as neither Gawker editor is particularly turned on by the sight of a happily jiggling female, rest assured that we're only sharing the following with you because we want to keep you informed of important news from the world of modeling.

Now that Fashion Week has finally ended and the queer and fabulous have moved on to the next party, you can resume your usual routine of trying to become a supermodel (and oh, you will, darling — now that those attention-grabbing Croatian whores have left Bryant Park, the spotlight is yours). Your next big audition is this Thursday, at an open call for Kimora Lee Simmons' Baby Phat line:

We've received a few Media Christmas reports over the past few days, but nothing even comes close to this tale, from last night at Hiro:

We don't get the Victoria's Secret fashion show. On a very basic, carnal level we understand: Beautiful, half-naked women. Hell, even we're slightly mesmerized by the cellulite-less perfection of Karolina Kurkova's ass (bitch). But you can get that sort of eye candy anywhere, really — hello, internets! When you tout beautiful, half-naked women as part of a big ol' fashion show, however, it gains enough cred to be broadcast on primetime CBS.