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In what may be the most oddly compelling interview we've seen in a while, Janice Dickinson, the world's first supermodel (and living proof that plastic surgery for necks is nowhere near as advanced as plastic surgery for faces) talks to The Book Standard about her latest work, Check, Please!, a dating guide. Janice, who actually seems more intelligent than her interlocutor, shares her insights on the following topics:

On Judith Regan: " I'm probably the only woman on earth, other than her daughter, that loves her."

On John F. Kennedy, Jr.: "I had a blind date with him. You didn't remember I was macking on him on the bubblegum machine at Studio 54, outside the ladies' room. John Kennedy was hot. But all I could think of during our blind date was Jackie O's pink blood-stained Chanel suit. You know, during the assassination of his dad. So, I mean, that's not cool."

On Kate Moss: "Even if she was a hooker plying her trade in front of her daughter doesn't connotate that she's a bad mom."

On K-Fed ("a fucking using, pond-scum leech"): "[H]e obviously bangs the living hell out of her. You know, what do they call sperm that hit? . . . What do they call sperm that hit? He's loaded? What do they call it? I forgot. Sperm that hit. Kevin Priceline is probably packin'."

On the difficult life of the author when inspiration is slow to come: " I'm a writer, what can I say? There are times when I just stare at the goddamn pad, cause I'm computer-illiterate so I write by hand. I stare and stare and stare, then all of a sudden, like you just noticed, a whim will come over me, like a tsunami, and I will just start a spin and then I'm unstoppable. It's just like a big ball of shooting-star energy."

She also hints that she may have nailed Bill Clinton. Seriously, you need to check this out.

Janice Dickinson, On Her Knees: Trash-Talk on Tommy Lee, JFK Jr., Paris, Britney and Kevin "Priceline" [The Book Standard]