· Film festival shocker: American-made movies will run roughshod over Cannes. [Variety]
· MTV announces the launch of its Overdrive web-only channel, finally servicing the needs of OCD-addled teens who need to see some rides pimped rightfuckingnow. [THR]
· OK, we're not kidding around anymore, MGM: Just pick a new fucking James Bond already, even if it's gotta be that British guy that no one here's ever heard of. It takes less time to pick a Pope, and he's got much cooler clothes. [Variety]
· Malcolm in the Middle nerd Frankie Muniz really stretches himself by signing up to play a computer geek in the teen horror flick Stay Alive. People really don't realize how hard that nerd-to-geek transition is for an actor. [THR]
· Maxim magazine, NBC, and Dimension Films enter into a mutually-beneficial, cross-promotional whoring arrangement. Coming soon: Jeff Zucker and Bob Weinstein tangled in a sweat-soaked, semi-clothed embrace on the cover of June's mag. [Variety]

Now that independent film producers/champions of truth, justice, and the American Way Bob and Harvey Weinstein have extricated themselves from the dirty shackles of the Disney Media Conglomerate that looked to thwart their efforts to make great movies at every turn, it's time for a quick-round-up of the post-split coverage.

We'd always kind of hoped that Bob and Harvey Weinstein would leave their family the old fashioned way, by saying they were going out for cigarettes, poignantly mussing their kids' hair for the last time, and disappearing forever. But the Weinstein brothers have left Miramax and Disney the classy way, by an intimate e-mail to their staff and a press release. Don't worry, Miramaxers, the guys are sticking around through the end of September to make sure that all necessary beatings are doled out before they start their new business venture. The e-mail and press release follow:

A little birdie told us to expect a press conference at around 1 p.m. finally announcing Harvey and Bob Weinstein's eternally-anticpated divorce from Disney. Let's hope this is actually going down so that we can all have some closure. We're so very tired of dreaming up scenarios in which Harvey Weinstein agrees to trade his mother to Michael Eisner in exchange for keeping the Miramax name.

· Executives flee as soon-to-be Weinstein-free Miramax like rats from a sinking ship. Or if you like a somewhat less dated analogy, fleeing like an assistant being beaten by Harvey Weinstein brandishing a rolled up copy of Talk magazine. [Variety]
· We've already linked to Variety's coverage of WGASignatureGate, so here's a link to THR's reports. [THR]
· Dan Rather will step away from the smouldering splinters of his CBS News anchor's desk tonight, but if you're getting this information from the trades, we recommend that you leave the production office once in a while.[Variety]
· Aisha Tyler, Loni Anderson, Scott Foley, Jonathan Schaech, Sarah Wynter, and Christine Taylor...you know what we're going to say re: pilot season. Don't make us do it. [THR]
· Keanu Reeves is set to bring his peculiar brand of confused-looking, monosyllabic star power to bear in Columbia's epic The 8th Voyage of Sinbad. We hope he wears a fez and some baggy pants! [Variety]

Some of you might remember this casting notice from January, in which the producers of CSI: NY were trolling for a certain Miramax tyrant type to kill off on the show. ("Think Harvey Weinstein. He has a weight problem, can’t stop eating.") Since our TiVo has strict orders never to record any Jerry Bruckheimer production, we needed a reader to inform us that they finally snuffed the faux-Harvey last night:

Here's the latest incremental report from the Disney/Miramax divorce talks, courtesy of the LAT: After weeks of Harvey and Bob Weinstein leaving scrawled, lovelorn notes underneath Disney CEO Michael Eisner's windshield wiper, pretending to have headaches and rolling over to go to sleep without any good-night nookie, and calling Eisner in the middle of the night and hanging up, the two sides have inched ever closer to finally splitting. The Weinsteins will reportedly get $100 million and will keep the Dimension Films banner, while Disney will retain Miramax, the studio famously named after the Weinsteins' parents. Some lament that the Weinsteins have to sacrifice their parents' namesake in the deal, but for a settlement that large, we imagine that the brothers would have presented their mother's severed head to Disney in a hatbox.

We know this is probably just a crazy dream, but wouldn't it be fun if Disney started handing out the assault rifles before they fire half the company? It would help manage the coming overcrowding problem in the LA office, and one of the Weinsteins might catch a bullet in the ass on the way out the door.

· Jude Law "breaks" into Anthony Minghella's Breaking and Entering, "entering" our hearts in a role as the prettiest architect that the world has ever seen. [Variety]
· More proof that Quentin Tarantino would direct the parking of a Land Rover into a particularly tight space if the money was right: He'll devise a "special" story for and direct the season finale of CSI. [THR]
· When will agents learn that agenting is enough to feed their soul, and stop fleeing their bloodsucking coops in search of satisfaction that will never come? UTA partner David Schiff leaves to create his own multi-purpose entertainment company, the aptly named Schiff Co. [Variety]
· Shed a tear for multimedia behemoth Viacom, who've suffered an $18 billion loss this quarter. We're not sure how, but we're certain that future intergalactic despot Les Moonves is behind this, and the invasion is still nigh. Smuggle your children to Canada before they're assimilated. [THR]
· Having sufficiently ruined the professions of detective, gangster, and military officer (various ranks and branches), the bloated John Travolta tries to drive drag-queens to suicide by considering a turn as Hairspray matron Edna Turnblad. [Variety]

According to Page Six, Miramax is trying to "disinvite" guests to its pre-Oscar party at the Pacific Design Center Saturday night, shifting certain previously-invited individuals to a "waiting list." We've heard that many of the tragically bumped are agents—coincidentally, we're sure!—who, luckily for the Weinsteins, always take personal slights that reduce their intake of free alcohol and opportunities to schmooze other people's clients with professionalism and grace.

Disney is inching ever closer to finalizing their divorce from Harvey and Bob Weinstein and returning Miramax to the low-budget, indie roots that are now paying dividends at Old 'Max-style specialty studios like Fox Searchlight. Replacing the brothers, however, will be their most trying task:

In the NYT, Hollywood reporter Sharon Waxman examines how Harvey Weinstein's legendary abuse of his Miramax employees has created a class of super-executives who flourish in the business when take they their increased resistance to physical and psychological pain to other studios. Realizing that there were important lessons learned from Weinstein, Miramax survivors thoughtfully stroke their scars as they ponder important decisions:

· The Aviator (not so fast, Martin Scorsese!) and Vera Drake take the top awards at the BAFTAs. What does this mean for The Aviator's chances at the Oscars? It's going to hurt even more when Million Dollar Baby keeps Scorsese winless. [Variety]
· No punchline necessary: Hayden Christensen signs on to star in The Decameron, opposite Mischa Barton. [THR]
· Eisner tells his shareholders that regardless of what the Weinsteins do, Miramax will remain at Disney. The Weinsteins, however, are still free to beat their employees at any new gig of their choosing. [Variety]
· "The WB's 10th-year pickup of 7th Heaven has put me into eighth heaven" says Aaron Spelling. He continues, "And I'm so happy, I've nearly forgotten that I sired the star of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" [THR]
· Golden Age of Antipiracy Report: Specially coded Oscar screener DVD-Rs can't be viewed in older players. The Academy will soon issue Betamax tapes and players to all members to remedy the issue. [Variety]

Miramax despot Harvey Weinstein needs to hire some writers, lest he become the bitch of anyone willing to offer a sound bite to a gossip columnist:

· MGM CFO Daniel Taylor will take over as president of the studio. The elevation of the studio's chief bean counter to the top spot makes it painfully clear that MGM is now officially Sony's money-printing bitch. [insert sound of a lion being sodomized] [Variety]
· The Oscar nominations of Finding Neverland and The Aviator have Disney and the Weinsteins again holding hands and skipping around the Maypole. [Variety]
· News that five people care about: The rift between the WGA West and WGA East is about to get all Biggie-Tupac over which coast gets what share of dues. [THR]
· "Script problems" delay the Crowe-Kidman flick Eucalyptus. You'd think they would've gotten that troublesome script thing in shape before everyone showed up to shoot the movie. [THR]
· Jerry Bruckheimer lures feature directors Andrew "The Fugitive" Davis and Simon "Tomb Raider" West to his TV
drama pilots, promising them they could blow up as much shit as they like on the small screen. [Variety]

· Lion's Gate ponies up $4 million for the Sundance jailbait revenge drama Hard Candy. [Variety, THR]
· Miramax's 17 Oscar nominations and double Best Picture chances may be the Weinstein's final "fuck you" to Disney. Well, metaphorically at least. Harvey Weinstein will still probably make the occasional expletive-filled prank phonecall to a retired Michael Eisner. [Variety]
· Michael Mann reflects on how his movies (he produced The Aviator and directed Collateral) snagged 13 Oscar noms, but stops short of proclaiming himself the King of Hollywood. [THR]
· The Tonight Show's weepy Johnny Carson tribute special does predictably enormous ratings numbers. [THR]
· American Idol's huge Nielsens keep Fox from backsliding into WB/UPN territory. [THR]

· Sundance turns Park City into a corporate-sponsored frat party, with Gersh apparently serving as the Tri-Lams. [Variety]
· The Weinstein Brothers arrive at Sundance and throw money around, trying to prove that Michael Eisner doesn't have their balls bronzed and sitting on his desk. [Variety]
· Brad Pitt to go forward with and star in Plan B produced Jesse James western. Yes, we know. Without Jennifer. Weep, weep. [Variety]
· Scarlett Johansson will host Academy's science and technical awards, following in the group's long tradition of getting hot chicks to distract from a ceremony we suspect is even boring for the nerds. [THR]
· Nickelodeon and Paramount give Robin Williams yet another opportunity to recycle his wacky characters voices in The Krazees. We really hope he does "The Lisping Homo," "The Crazy Hasidic Jew," "The Jive-Talking Black Guy," and "The Deaf Guy" so that the studios really get their money's worth. [THR]

CSI:NY is looking to do what countless directors, producers, and staffers shafted by Miramax have wanted to do for years: kill Harvey Weinstein. From a Now Casting notice:

It's been a while since we've received a cry for help from deep inside Miramax; we'd assumed that after months of slow torture, their staffers' tear ducts became desiccated from abuse. But now we know it's probably because they're too crippled by stress headaches to tap out pleas for help. The Weinsteins have all but packed their golden cardboard boxes, and it looks like they're raiding the medicine cabinet on the way out. A spy ignores the pain just long enough to squeeze out an e-mail:

The Golden Globes after-parties at the Beverly Hills Hilton were overcrowded like a Tokyo subway car, but that didn't stop the crack security staff at the Miramax party from preventing an incursion by an evil impostor: