• Dell disappoints. Well, "disappoints" implies someone had hopes for them. [NYT]

The morning news from our favorite Fortune 500 tech firms:

Microsoft's new ad program is broken right out of the box, according to one user:

• Cingular will go by at&t after the BellSouth merger. Earlier, SBC became at&t — as did AT&T. [GigaOM]

Mediabistro's FishBowlLA has the perfect recap of the last two weeks' dot-com frenzy (Lloyd Braun — pictured because I like picturing him — zigs, Steve Ballmer zags, and still they try to dance):

Microsoft looks anything but domineering these days — they can't even take over the softies at Yahoo, according to the Wall Street Journal — so anti-Microsoft jester Chris Coulter adds a bit of irony to this Battlestar Galactica parody. Dig the subtle shot of MS blogger Robert Scoble at the end.

You could waste 10 minutes reading the Seattle Times piece on Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's internal memo and the company's fight against Google. But you, Mr. Smarty Pants, will spend 30 seconds on the Valleywag recap:

Bill meant this line (quoted at the Singularity Summit site) seriously, but it's more fun to say it in a singsong grade-school voice. "Teeeen Microsofts." Other exchange rates for the Microsoft:

• Lloyd Braun comes out swinging today with what the NY Times calls "the most extensive of his initiatives to get final approval:" Yahoo Tech. The top-story panel is sometimes overlaid with an interstitial ad. Should've stuck with puppet-anchored news, Lloyd. [Yahoo Tech and NYT]

Another chapter to the scandal that rocked a nation (wherein Valleywag actually used a PR-pitched story! OMG WTF): Another pair of passes sold (a $3,000 Buy-it-Now purchase), and the auction was confirmed as real but PR-spun.

All right, I've been had by a flack. (Household hint: No cleanser can wash away the shame of using a PR piece.) A big-shot blogebrity (approval to name him pending), who probably got the eBay conference story pitch too, IMed last night:

Even in the overpriced conference world, the going price to hang out with Ballmer and Gates is cheaper than two shares of Google. An eBay bidder paid just $760 for two passes (and one hotel room — hot!) at the Microsoft MSN 7th Annual Strategic Account Summit, a 3-day, 3-night conference in Redmond, Washington.

Karl Jacob is taking Wallop out for a spinoff The not-so-hot social network just split from Microsoft as its own (VC-funded) company. TechCrunch blogger Michael Arrington (who's tried every social site this side of Adult Friend Finder) says he's seen some of Wallop's new offerings, and it's not just another Tagged.com or Yahoo 360.

Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers kicked out partner Russ Siegelman, according to a trusted source. The former Microsoft employee, who once reported directly to Bill Gates, won't be part of KPCB's next fund. Was the bigshot VC firm sick of seeing its property Friendster languish under Siegelman's partnership? Or was he just bumped out to make room for another hotshot?

Closer and closer sources confirm the persistent rumor that Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy will bow out. The old softie can't handle the pressure to fire workers — he never did like to lay off staff — according to the San Jose Mercury News. And he'll always have a spot open as chairman.

On his way to chat with President Bush (which will provoke something witty on Wonkette), Chinese president Hu Jintao swung by Seattle to see the "home of the future" and other modern wonders (some of which were actually made by Microsoft) at Microsoft HQ. It's pretty safe to assume these captions are true.

Are we back to sniping Bill Gates with press photos again? Through his career at Microsoft, coverage of Gates moved from "Nerdy young Gates" to "Lurking evil Gates," softening to "Old and feeble Gates," before honoring him as "Wise and wizened elder statesman Gates." But with one little defeat for Microsoft in Europe, the BBC picks its favorite AFP photo: "Shrieking crypt-keeper Gates."

Microsoft's Bangalore office was stoned yesterday (not the fun "hey guys, hey guys, let's make ads with dinosaur heads and then grab some munchies" way but the "oh shit they're throwing pieces of the landscape at us" way) when the city broke into riots. A Bangalore-born actor's death sparked pandemonium in the streets. But before saying "That's what you get for globalizing," remember the many riots that rocked Silicon Valley in the past century:

Exclusive: In-office footage of Bill Gates arguing with Steve Ballmer over the delay of Windows Vista.

No, not "fueled by the blood of those he has devoured." Bill Gates shows Fortune Magazine how he gets stuff done. Some highlights about the elder statesman of the software world: