When we were young, our parents only let us watch one hour of TV a day. We complained and complained. But compared to the technological limits the Obamas put on their daughters, we were living in a crazy futureworld.

[First Lady of gym class Michelle Obama gets a lesson on how to jump from a group of schoolchildren in Mexico City today. Image via AP]

The President and First Lady will appear on the show's "Idol Gives Back" charity fundraiser next Wednesday, to benefit Save the Children and others. Ryan Seacrest can't contain himself! [Fox News]

[RT @FirstDaughterMalia OMFG, does my mom have to read the same book every time other people's children are around? #whitehouseeastereggroll. Image via Getty]

[Michelle Obama helps a group of school children plant seeds in the White House Kitchen Garden today. Image via Getty]

Michelle Obama took the kids to Grimaldi's in Brooklyn today. Outrageous! Everyone knows the crust at Di Fara is better—why won't you listen to the people? (Also the people demand you tell us how Tottono's is since they reopened.)

On Barack's big night, guess where Michelle was? Dining at Aquavit in New York, which is owned by the White House's favorite hunky chef, Marcus Samuelsson. (Above) Michelle ate lobster salad while probably sending Obama dirty texts under the table.

[Michelle Obama ambled down her block to the Smithsonian today to donate her inaugural gown by Jason Wu to the museum's collection where it will not be upstaged by Aretha Franklin's hat. Image via Getty

[First Lady Michelle Obama told all of America's youth that she would turn this car around right now when trying to run a soccer clinic for D.C. youth today. Image via Getty]

Beer bones! Soda cancer! Money fear! Broken hearts! Happy marriage! Michelle O-fitness! It's time for your Gawker health watch, where we watch health—for YOU!

• Conan O'Brien's final Tonight Show airs tonight. Then he'll head off to count the enormous pile of cash that NBC just gave him while he waits until September 1, which is when he'll first be permitted to host another talk show as part of the deal he signed with the network. As for NBC, it will air reruns of The Tonight Show until the Olympics start, with Jay Leno officially returning to his (very tarnished) throne on March 1. [TMZ, THR, WSJ]
• It looks like things are going from bad to worse for Mischa Barton. Her landlord has filed a lawsuit against her for failing to pay three months of rent on her $7,000-a-month Tribeca apartment before moving out of the place late last year. [NYDN, P6]
• Lady Gaga looked pretty banged up when she appeared outside her "Monster Ball" show last night to sign autographs. She she had bizarre cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs. And those mustard-colored extensions she's been wearing as of late aren't helping matters. [The Sun, 3am]

Michelle Obama surprised a White House tour group and it is streaming on the internet! And Bo is there!

After London's smallish Obama on My Mind and Kenya's amateurish Obama: The Musical, Germany has finally created a true Barack Obama musical extravaganza with HOPE: Einer Neuen Generation. Palin has skanky back-up dancers and Reverend Wright sings angry gospel.

First PETA used Michelle Obama in an unauthorized ad; now, Weatherproof has plastered Barack's face on a billboard just because he wore their coat once. What's next, telling you the Obamas read our blog daily? No, we respect their privacy.

Today at Gawker.TV, Teri Hatcher puts on a few pounds in Desperate Housewives, Regis Philbin's over-sharing makes us nauseous, amnesia-ridden Peter teaches himself how to drive by video games, MRI scans-turned-video, and Iron Chef America uses secret White House ingredients.

After three months of heavy promotion, Food Network finally aired what was pegged to be the greatest Iron Chef ever. The secret ingredient—White House vegetables—was apparently of "national importance." Here are four things we learned during the special.

Barack Obama, President of SEX. Where do various wingnut moralist pundits stand on this blatant exhibitionism? [Pic: Getty. Click to enlarge, for titillation.]

Barack Obama is in Hawaii celebrating the holidays with his family and attempting yet again to forge a long-form birth certificate. And what have pool cameras caught him doing over the long weekend? Having lots of fun!

speaking at a Marine Corps' Toys for Tots photo op in Quantico, Va., a couple hours ago, according to McClatchy's Margaret Talev who's doing White House pool duty today.

Working for Gawker does not lend itself to getting invited to fancy media holiday parties. So we have to use Twitter to spy on them. After the jump: three of tonight's fancy parties and a plea for your help.