Tonight, ABC aired Oprah's special, Christmas at the White House, in which the Queen of Daytime visited the Obamas and toured the decked out residence. And aside from baby talk and a Michelle shut down, it was so, so boring.

[Camera displays and cell phone screens glow as Barack and Michelle Obama greet the crowd from the Grand Hotel in Oslo, Norway, where President Obama accepted the Nobel Peace Prize today. Image via Getty]

As usual, Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating People of the Year" special wrongly assumed public fascination with a person somehow confers on them the quality of being fascinating. What was most fascinating were Walters' funny faces when she talked about sexuality.

Who hasn't slept with Tiger Woods? An actress who debuted in The Wonder Years, then went on to OMG Stop Tickling Me joins Tiger's stable; Lohan looks surprisingly hot in a faux-threesome; reality stars eat rats. Monday gossip ahoy!

[President Barack Obama gets some help from his first ladies, Sasha, Malia, and Michelle, when lighting the national Christmas tree in D.C. today. Image via AP]

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

Yikes, we need a moment to wash our eyes with cool, clear water after looking at that thing . OK: Google is refusing to remove a picture of Michelle Obama Photoshopped to look like a monkey from image search results.

Look at this: the New York Times has a fill-in-the-blanks game on their Learning Network blog. We're pretty sure your guesses wouldn't get past the NYTimes.com's army of comment moderators, so feel free to play along below.

• The week in reviews: Sam Sifton of the Times gives Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecôte one star; Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton says Blue Hill "needs work"; Jay Cheshes of TONY has mixed things to say about Ed's Chowder House; Steve Cuozzo visits Ed's, too, giving it 2 1/2 stars out of four; Gael Greene checks out Casa Lever; and GQ's Alan Richman picks his fave fried chicken in NYC.
• Cru, which faced eviction this summer, is back with a new chef/menu. [NYT]
• The Soho Italian spot Piccola Cucina has reopened. [Zagat]
• Bruni's top burger is at Shake Shack; Colicchio picks The Spotted Pig. [TONY]
• Michelle Obama will make a cameo on Iron Chef in January. [NYT]
• Want to lose weight? Try eating tomatoes. [NYDN]

No, she is not leaving Vogue, no she is not moving to D.C., no she has not been installed as the monarch of some European country. She's just on the President's Committee on the Arts and Humanities.

Lindsay and Dina Lohan are pissed. Stephen Marbury: pussy. Nic Cage: broke. Carly Simon wants to know where the Doritos are. Jon Gosselin has "mantrums." Happy Hangover Day. I can't feel my face. Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

The White House has released the official Obama family portrait, which was taken by Annie Leibovitz. What do you think that gig pays?

On Wednesday America was treated to video of the first lady's undulating rear when she competed in a hula hoop contest. Now the hip-swiveling sensation is sweeping the nation, one awkward female news anchor at a time.

[Michelle Obama competes in Jack Rabbit Slim's hula contest during a photo op on the White House lawn today to show kids that it's cool to exercise. Image via Getty]

Hey everyone, Barack Obama is having a late lunch at Craftsteak right now! It's the latest of the safe choices the president has made when dining out in our fair city. What do his dining choices say about him?

• After another wild day in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook settled their latest round of legal issues yesterday. But not before Brinkley called her ex an "extreme narcissist," and Cook returned the favor by telling reporters she was an "angry, bitter, vindictive woman." At least it's nice to know they still have feelings for each other, though! [NYP, NYDN]
• As easy as it is to picture Courtney Love sitting in front of her computer punching numbers into an Excel spreadsheet, it turns out she may not be the best financial planner in the world. Love owes $300K in back taxes, according to the government. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is and he plans to reveal all in an effort to "save" his daughter. So who is he? "He has no job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." Call us crazy, but supplying "everyone" in LA sounds like a pretty good job to us. [Radar, NYDN]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Megan Fox dressed in, well, not much: Giorgio Armani has tapped her to star in his new underwear ad campaign. [WWD]

If imitation's the highest form of flattery, what's the action figure? The pint-sized likeness, once dominated by the likes of G.I. Joe, has become playground to the political elite. And now Michelle Obama's joining the plasticine ranks.

We knew some of the First Lady's ancestors were slaves. But the New York Times' detailed genealogical investigation into precisely who those slaves were brings into moving relief what an astonishing historical earthquake her presence in the White House is.

The New York Times traced the first lady's family tree and found that her great-great-great-grandmother, Melvinia Shields, was a slave who was raped by a white man. This is news why?

It's hard to explain Drue Kataoka. There's the hair. The intimate spiritual moments with aged Silicon Valley dons. And this new music video about net neutrality, co-starring Facebook fameballer Randi Zuckerberg. Think of Kataoka, perhaps, as Silicon Valley's Julia Allison.