Michelle and Barack Obama got down in India this week, throwing shapes like a couple of ravers 36-hours in at Ibiza. Watch these two wild and crazy kids boogie down with a bunch of Indian children.

[Here's Michelle Obama leading a bunch of kids in song in Mumbai during her and Barack Obama's trip to India. Image via Getty.]

[Michelle Obama and some schoolchildren inspect a pumpkin in the White House garden today. Image via Getty]

This is the Obamarator, a vibrator modeled after the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama. It can be yours! All you have to do is write a dirty story starring the Commander in Chief.

[First Lady Michelle Obama, Second Lady Jill Biden, and actress Sarah Jessica Parker appeared at a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee in New York City. Photo via AP.]

Typically, if you're a hob-knobbing Washington bigwig, you get to actively mingle with the President and First Lady at fancy parties. But not so with the Obamas! They are far more guarded, which has enraged the swells of the capital.

Breaking! Health food activist Michelle Obama consumed a cheeseburger and french fries today. America's children just got fatter.

Americans hate vegetables. Every possible trick, tactic and marketing ploy has failed. We will forever be a nation of spongey vegetablephobes. So say the New York Times in a long investigation of why the hell won't Americans eat their vegetables?

[Michelle Obama welcomed 32 women—including the famously flamboyant first lady of Cameroon, Chantal Biya—to Blue Hill at Stone Barns in Westchester county, NY, today for the United Nations General Assembly spousal luncheon. Another picture below.]

In her new, authorized biography, French first lady Carla Bruni recalls talking to Michelle Obama on a trip to Washington, during which Obama says of her post, "It's hell. I can't stand it." Only two more years, Michelle!

Fox News' Neil Cavuto decided Michelle Obama had been given enough precious 9/11 airtime for her speech in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, so he interrupted the live broadcast to say of Barack Obama, "nine years ago this day, he was a nobody."

Barack Obama didn't fuck up or produce a controversial "YouTube moment" during his press conference today, so here's what Politico has settled for instead: he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Why does Barack Obama obviously hate his wife? [Image: AP]

Botox shox! Stem cell freedom! Michelle my belle! Chronic fatigue! Fatigue of chronic! Chinese babies! Eat more veggies! Body blow! Body blow! Body blow! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—on our way out of town!

[Linda Celeste Sims skirts the issues while performing a tribute to Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater's artistic director Judith Jamison today at the inaugural event of Michelle Obama's White House Dance Series. Image via Getty]

Today, the Associated Press surveys all the miraculously adorable things we've learned about the Obama girls' lives in the White House, and all of it is cute. All of it. Even Malia's braces are adorable. How is this possible?

[Barack Obama holds an umbrella for Michelle during their trip to New Orleans to commemorate the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. To be fair, that is a pretty huge umbrella. Photo via AP]

[Michelle Obama appeared to have a laugh at the President's expense today as the couple ordered food from a Martha's Vineyard restaurant while on vacation. Sorry about the crappy weather, guys! Image via Getty]

Well, this is what you get for visiting commie Europe: Michelle Obama's approval rating has tumbled — from 64 to 50 percent — following her horribly misreported Spanish vacation. No more fancy hotels for you, you... hotel snob!

[Ashley Olsen tells Harper's Bazaar she would love to see the first lady wear her and sister Mary-Kate's fashion line. Considering they wear outfits like these, we don't think simple and elegant Michelle is gonna bite. Image via Getty]

We had an egg salad sandwich for lunch today. It was a really good sandwich! Meanwhile, Michelle and Sasha Obama ate with the King of Spain. Want to see what they had for lunch?