[The president gives Sunny Obama a belly rub in the White House's Blue Room as Bo and Michelle look on with skepticism. Image via @WhiteHouse/Twitter.]

Nobody dunks like the First Lady. Not even the Miami Heat, who visited the White House recently to talk about how to eat right and stay fit. Don't you talk about the best, or I'm going to shut it for you real quick.

A photo from today's Mandela memorial of President Obama snapping a funeral selfie alongside UK PM David Cameron and Danish PM Helle Thorning-Schmidt while an unamused Michelle scowls nearby is making the rounds right now, but it only tells a fragment of the full story.

President Obama was caught on a live microphone today telling U.N. official Maina Kiai that he hasn't smoked in six years because he's "scared of my wife." Cue your crazy right-wing uncle's next chain email: "NOBAMA ADMITS HE'S AFRAID OF A WOMAN, JUST LIKE ALL MALE LIBTARDS! GUESS WE KNOW WHO WEARS THE PANTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE!"

Michelle Obama dragged her daughters, Malia, 15, and Sasha, 12, out for a visit with her friend Mrs. Carter in Chicago last night, even though Mrs. Carter only ever wants to talk about mortgages and interest rates and mulch and Sasha and Malia would rather spend their time snapchatting pix of their dog to their friends.

CNN released a video of Michelle Obama responding to a heckler last night. The initial confrontation is only on audio, but later there's shaky cell-phone footage of the First Lady walking off-stage before the crowd convinces her to return.

Two weeks ago, President Obama was heckled by anti-war protester Medea Benjamin during a speech about drones and national security. The president handled it respectfully enough, acknowledging Benjamin and saying her “voice...is worth paying attention to.” Tuesday evening, Michelle Obama faced a similar situation when her speech during a Democratic Party fundraiser was interrupted by activist Ellen Sturtz from LGBT rights group GetEqual. The First Lady's response was...not quite as graceful as her husband's two weeks ago.

American women are "opting for surgery to get Michelle Obama's arms," the Los Angeles Times tells us. (Though, obviously, not literally; there are not thousands of women seeking surgery to obtain the First Lady's arms, of which there are after all only two.) The number of women seeking cosmetic "upper arm-lift" procedures has increased by 4,378 percent since 2000, due—many speculate—to Ms. Obama's bodacious arms:

Last night, President Obama and the First Lady hosted the 10th concert in the In Performance at the White House series. Justin Timberlake, professional charmer and sometimes-crooner, encouraged his hosts to join him for Otis Redding's "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay." Timberlake appealed to the whole ragtag bunch of fancy concert-goers by cajoling: "Mr. President, everybody, come on!"

A group of apparently Russian hackers, working on the website "exposed.su," claims to have published the private personal information of—or "doxxed"—17 politicians and celebrities. Victims include Michelle Obama, Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Attorney General Eric Holder, FBI Director Robert Mueller, all of whom had credit reports posted to the website, as well as Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden, whose social security numbers were published.

On Thursday, Michelle Obama celebrated the third anniversary of her "Let's Move" campaign with a dancing event in Chicago. The FLOTUS and some other famous people like Serena Williams, Bo Jackson, Dominique Dawes, and Gabby Douglas hopped up on stage to do dances like "throwing it away," the "dribble," and the "step-together, step-together."

When Michelle Obama debuted her bangs last month, America was like, "Ohmygod. Your hair..." and Michelle was like, "I just got it cut! Do you like it?" and America was like, "It's so...bangs," and Michelle was like, "Haha, thanks!"

Michelle Obama will attend the funeral for the 15 year old shot to death just days after performing at the inauguration.

Everyone — well, nearly everyone — was enthralled by Michelle Obama's ostensible shade-throwing in the direction of John Boehner during yesterday's Inauguration Day luncheon at the Capitol.

There is nothing not great about this candid AP photo of President Obama and the First Lady sneaking a quick smooch during this afternoon's Inaugural Parade while the First Daughters look on.

Today Washington, D.C. was all atwitter with the graduation of President Obama from first-term president to second-term president. Here is your Inauguration 2013 yearbook.

Tumblr blogger Mattyrab locates what might be the most important moment of the inauguration: this hall-of-fame shade-throwing moment at the post-inauguration luncheon. Watch the first lady react to whatever Speaker of the House John Boehner just said, and take notes — this is master-class material.

Wow, LADIES, time for an emergency meeting of the LADIES because there has been a huge development in our sex's perpetual race to/fight against bang adoption: Michelle Obama now has BANGS.

Barack Obama is a master of the casually revealing photo. For months, you'll see the President of the United States blocking out a stiff rectangular space behind all those podiums, seeming a little vulnerably gangly in one of his slightly roomy grey or blue suits, alternating among a familiar reserve of strained expressions meant to convey leadership, certainty, disappointment, concern, reason, gravity, and occasional disgust. But then, at a regularly reaffirming clip, there are these moments when the President of the United States seems most at ease, somewhat unguarded, and most resolutely human. In these scenes, Obama's character doesn't shrink, it swells.

Professional birther troll and ugly haired human, Donald Trump has been parading around this week alleging that he had a bombshell so big that it was "bordering on gigantic." A story so big that it would "possibly" change the state of the election. "Possibly," everybody.