A recent post on the New York Times Campaign Stops blog discusses all sorts of Google search-related political factoids. The point of the analysis is, for the Times' purpose, to act as a predictor (or, the article's title puts it, a "crystal ball") for the election. But it also offers up important information about how often people do things like search for topless photos of Paul Ryan, or, on the more depressing end of the spectrum, how often people searched for "Obama" in conjunction with "KKK." Here are some of more interesting searches:

High school students around the country are bellyaching that not enough food is being served during lunch following the institution of new limits on portion size.

Mike Hayhurst, a professional rodeo clown and barrelman from Barstow, California, may have thought he was just clowning around when he told Saturday's crowd at the 17th annual Creston Classic Rodeo a vehemently racist joke involving First Lady Michelle Obama, but the rodeo's board members aren't laughing.

Michelle Obama stutters. She does not have a stutter. She stutters on purpose. "I-I-I, I've seen it in our men and women in uniform." "Fr-from the young person with so much promise." "And-and, even as a kid..."

The White House released this photo of Barack Obama and daughters, Sasha and Malia, watching Michelle Obama deliver her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Magazine de Fuera de Serie, a Spanish periodical, has caused quite a stir with its decision to feature artwork depicting Michelle Obama as semi-nude African slave on the cover of its latest issue.

A Washington DC police officer who has worked the security detail for White House officials allegedly threatened to shoot Michelle Obama. The threat, which was overheard Wednesday morning, is currently under investigation by the DC police's Internal Affairs Division, and the Secret Service has been notified. In the meantime, the officer has been placed on administrative duty.

The First Lady is not making many friends in the cranberry industry.

Michelle Obama joined Pinterest today. Ann Romney has been dominating that ish for months.

Justin Bieber becomes a criminal battery suspect. Cynthia Nixon marries her girlfriend. Lindsay Lohan flees a $40,000 tanning salon bill. David Beckham likes to eat babies. Tuesday gossip is for old times' sake.

A new week, a new bizarre story about Michelle Obama on the Drudge Report: "PAPER: Michelle Obama's shopping spree at luxury lingerie shop boosts sales..." The paper in question is the Sunday Telegraph, which declares that the first lady "has risked the wrath of cash-strapped Americans by indulging in a $50,000 shopping spree at Agent Provocateur." Is that, like, a million bras? Or what?

Wisconsin Republican Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner hates how Michelle Obama is constantly forcing sickening Muslim traditions like "vegetables" and "exercise" on the youth of America—especially when she herself is so disgustingly corpulent, in the butt area. He hates it so much he can't even keep quiet about it!

Last night Michelle Obama unveiled this year's White House Christmas decorations and the first family lit the National Christmas Tree. It's no Rockefeller Center, but it's something! In honor of the holiday season taking over the country's most prestigious domicile here's a look at how 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, NW, has looked over the years.

First Lady Michelle Obama was a NASCAR Grand Marshal at today's Ford 400 (so was her sidekick, Second Lady Jill Biden), so she naturally received a warm welcome from patriotic NASCAR fans. Kidding! She got booed.

A magician named John Cassidy—world record holder for "most balloon sculptures made in one hour"—visited Michelle Obama at the White House last month. She promptly imprisoned him in a latex bubble, while a White House photographer documented her chilling disregard for the civil liberties of balloon magicians.

The first lady let it slip in a recent interview that the president doesn't want the Obama girls tuning into Keeping Up With the Kardashians. So what is it about the show (well, besides everything) that bothers him so much? Jay Leno tried delving into the president's anti-Kardashian position on Tuesday's Tonight Show, but beyond admitting that he's never even seen the show, Obama wisely avoided any remarks that could have risked alienating the Kardashian voter base.

Some wacko has been spamming the internet with death threats against the Obamas, and various congressmen, and David Letterman. Google shows this guy's life must be largely spent on writing internet death threats.

President Obama is confronted with difficult decisions every day. Should we send troops into the Congo? How can Congress be pushed into action on his jobs plan? Should Malia and Sasha be allowed to watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

As long as we allow her husband to occupy the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama is determined to continue her dangerous crusade to get America's kids in shape. Who is that lady to tell my baby he ain't eating right?

Septuagenarian comeback kid Woody Allen told U.K. talk show Daybreak, "If I was in a room with Michelle Obama, and I thought she was right for a part, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her." And he isn't just whistling out of his clarinet hole with that offer: He cast Carla Bruni, wife of French president Nicolas Sarkovy, in Midnight in Paris after having dinner with the couple.