metro

Rob the Bouncer on Bouncers

Jessica · 03/07/06 10:32AM

In light of The Falls' bouncer Darryl Littlejohn emerging as a suspect in the murder case of Imette St. Guillen, the media has naturally turned to wondering about the nature of the "bouncing industry." Littlejohn had a criminal record and yet he was working the door; hadn't management conducted a background check? Or do venues just not care?

It's Not Easy Being Caucasian

Jesse · 03/07/06 10:05AM


And we'd really appreciate if people would finally start recognizing and respecting our unique culture and heritage. Perhaps we can get a History Month?

Cindy Sheehan, Slatternly Security Threat

Jessica · 03/07/06 09:20AM


During a anti-war march at the United Nations yesterday, peace activist Cindy Sheehan was arrested while trying to deliver a petition to the U.S. Mission to the United Nations. As one astute style-watcher has noticed, Cindy was also committing some serious crimes of fashion: exposed mom bra, unstylish sneakers, and ill-fitting, drab slacks. God bless the NYPD for keeping the Upper East Side free from such dowdy terror.

Allah Does Not Want You to Drink in Tribeca

Jesse · 03/07/06 09:04AM

It seems that some downtown bars, including the Tribeca Tavern, the Bubble Lounge, and several places we've never been to, are in danger of having their liquor licenses pulled. Why? From today's Sun:

Dorrian Family Bars Not So Great

Jessica · 03/07/06 08:57AM

We're hesitant to write about the murder of Imette St. Guillen, partly because it sincerely scares the shit out of us (that counts as our vocabulary for genuine human misfortune, right?), partly because we're content to let Gothamist ride the beat up to that big Dateline spot in the sky. But as the story develops, it's becoming clear that the bouncer from The Falls, the last bar where St. Guillen, may be more than an innocent bystander in her stomach-twisting death.

CSI: Braunstein

Jessica · 03/07/06 08:11AM


"We're looking for a rapist...who masquerades as a fireman."

To-Do: Horror Festival, Scrabble, or Serena Maneesh

Jessica · 03/06/06 02:20PM

• BAM kicks off its Some Kind of Horror Show festival with Four Flies on Grey Velvet. Tonight's opening also features an after-party sponsored by the Onion, which promises to be a whole other kind of horror show, full of midwesterners and cocktails. [flavorpill]
• The Amateur Happy Hour Scrabble Club for Bad Spellers meets at the 11th Street Bar. Alcohol totally improves your skills, trust us. [Upcoming]
• Serena Maneesh is 6'11". She also plays music. If that won't get you to the Bowery Ballroom, why, nothing will. [Paper]

And at Night, They Sleep on Piles of Benjamins

Jessica · 03/06/06 08:24AM


Though we may choose to ignore it, transit workers and the MTA have yet to reach an actual agreement. Though we believe (or pray, anyhow) that the situation won't plummet to the hellish depths of December's strike, we found the above chart rather helpful. It's not exactly news but, should things get ugly, this is the sort of information you need to appropriately direct your anger. If we hate together, we can win together.

To Do, This Weekend: Blue Velvet, Whitney Biennial, or OSCARS OMG OSCARS!

Jessica · 03/03/06 02:10PM

Friday:
• The afterparty for Belle & Sebastian is almost the same thing as the concert, except that the Belles will be spinning other people's music rather than their own. Get your twee-fan on at the Royal Oak, starting at 10:30.
• Have a side of despair along with your usual pornography tonight as the Film Forum celebrates the twentieth anniversary of Blue Velvet. [flavorpill]
Saturday:
• The Knitting Factory hosts a line-up of bands who bang on things. No, seriously: Bring your own pot or pan to jam with Whitehouse, Wolf Eyes, and Pig Destroyer. [flavorpill]
• The Times called the Whitney Biennial "short on pretty, long on collaboration." The Grey Lady's got the informed-distaste-makes-you-cool thing down pretty good, but head on over to the Whitney and see what you can come up with yourself. [Whitney]
Sunday:
It's Oscar time — finally, Hollywood collectively blows its wad, and you get to wipe up the mess.
• For the truly insane, coverage begins at noon on E!, with red-carpet awkwardness commencing at 5:30. Head over to the TV Guide channel at the same time if you want to watch Joan Rivers rip apart everyone's couture.
• Come 8 PM, it's the big show, with poor Jon Stewart demonstrating that nothing can ever be truly funny if its on network television.
• Bonus for the freaks: If you want to watch and play online, our starfucking brother at Defamer will be liveblogging the whole ass and pony show. We just hope he doesn't spill Mad Dog on his keyboard.

Helicopters Are the New Cabs

Jessica · 03/03/06 11:10AM

Tired of schlepping to the airport via plebby mass transit or, worse, a cab that smells like chicken fried ass? Starting March 27th, US Helicopter will be offering service from Manhattan to JFK, LGA, and Newark. The commute takes a lovely 8 minutes, and you're screened by TSA lackeys before you board — which means you don't have to take off your shoes with a bunch of strangers.

Mobile Dickhead; or, The Whale

Jesse · 03/03/06 10:40AM


This picture showed up in our inbox late last night. We have no idea when it's from. (The emailer says it was taken on an uptown 6, just above Canal, at about 11 at night. But it's clearly an IND/BMT train car, not an IRT, which makes us skeptical of the other claims.) All we know is that if we had to look at that hairy white gut, well, dammit, so do you.

The Prisoners of Atlantic Avenue

Jesse · 03/03/06 08:51AM


The city is apparently thisclose to reopening the Brooklyn House of Detention, that hulking highrise jail between Atlantic and Pacific Avenues in Cobble Hill. The move may be necessary to ease imminent overcrowding at Rikers Island, according to the Times, and it will pose no risk for the yuppie-hipster neighborhood, as the prisoners will be kept safely under lock and key. To further ensure minimal neighborhood disruption, immediately upon arrival the prisoners will be issued horn-rimmed glasses, iPods, and, of course, magazine jobs.

To-Do: Happy Hour, Air Guitar Championships, or La Legende d'Er

Jessica · 03/02/06 01:55PM

Void Magazine hosts Our Happiest Hour Yet, a reading with free drinks to merit the name. Some writers might read some stuff, too. [Void]
• The NYC Regional of the US Air Guitar Championships rocks the Knitting Factory tonight. Think of it like the Olympics with hair bands and uppers. [KF]
• Hop on the meta-train for some art about art: La Legende d'Er documents the multimedia performance given by composer/architect Iannis Xenakis at the opening of the centre Georges-Pomipidou in Paris. You might want to bring a flask for this one. [flavorpill]

To-Do: Dance, Tibet House, or Dorkbot

Jessica · 03/01/06 02:30PM

• It took a long time to recover from "Movin' Out," but it's finally time to try a little more dance. Tonight, the Dance Theatre Workship features Ivy Baldwin's Gone Missing and Kate Weare's Wet Road. [flavorpill]
• Philip Glass brings Laurie Anderson, Antony, Sufjan Stevens, Damien Rice, and Allen Toussaint along to Carnegie Hall for the Tibet House Freedom Concert. No, it's still not free. [Paper]
• Egg-tapping robots aside, you can almost take the dorkbot-nyc kids seriously until they tell you to "bring snacks to share!" You can take the geek out of the lonely lunch table, but you can't take the lonely lunch table out of the geek. [Upcoming]