We couldn't go see Slate critic Jack Shafer speak last night at the Columbia Journalism School — we break out in hives every time we come within five blocks of a journalism epicenter. (They're always talking about "multiple sourcing" and other stupid crap. Drop out and start plagiarizing at newspapers already, my young friends.) But, of course, our spies were front and center as Shafer fumbled with this new-fangled thing called "Powerpoint."

The nasty gays on Data Lounge are running a contest today: who's the most hated gossip columnist? This is at least interesting from an anthropological perspective, as it's unusual to see The Gay turn on Liz Smith and Cindy Adams — it's like homos getting mad at Bea Arthur and Betty White! Unheard of. Excerpts from the anonymously-written list:

America's public enemy #1, radio-dude Howard Stern, made an off-hand remark on this morning's show — he claims he writes a secret weblog. Stern said he writes as "another character" and that only "about 4 people are in on the joke." OK, he's almost certainly not Rance, who repeatedly claims to be an actor and not a fat guy eating Twinkies in his basement, laughing at a credulous, gossip-starved public.

Not surprisingly, the town is abuzz with the latest news from this morning's Times: Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein chows down at Red Lobster early and often. But, say some anonymous correspondents, is it even worse than Atoosa's carnal love of nasty, foul, greasy breaded shrimp products? Here's the report from our Special Correspondent on Teen Girl Magazine Issues:

· The new NY Observer media columnist Tom Scocca claims his "current per-item correction rate" is 28.5 percent. We're jealous. [NYO]
· The New York Times: "bastion of quality" or polluter of the media world? [Russ Smith]
· Management-theory gurus have "branded up" newspapers and publications, creating a corporate culture in which journalists become just like regular businesspeople — ready to lie and steal. [Ron Rosenbaum]
· The "Italian Guys" of Conde Nast enjoy a last supper. [Keith Kelly]
· Colors editor Simon Dumenco claims: "I'm not Benetton's puppet! Am not, am not!" [Patrick Phillips]

Yesterday, we noted the use of the word 'doody' in a New York Post headline. Why? Because we are simple-minded children. We speculated that this headline, written by one Dawn Eden, might be the first use of the word 'doody' in this capacity. In fact, we were wrong.

· Post-lad mags: BestLife (what a doubleplusgood name) says 30-something men want to read shorter articles, claims GQ and Esquire get read by women and girly-men. [David Carr]
· 245 U.S. newspapers run same-sex wedding announcements; most snub the 'mos. Oh, that liberal media bias. [Lornet Turnbull]
· Chicago Tribune denies rumors that Elvis Mitchell is coming to the heartland. Hell, is he even leaving the Times? Who knows! [NewCity Chicago]

· Stylist Andrew Richardson joins biannual fashion mag VMan. What's his aesthetic? Says Richardson, "I m a bit tired of the Williamsburg electroclash shaggy-haired boy who has done one two many Es." Aren't we all, baby. [WWD's Memo Pad]
· The NYT runs picture of Pete Coors, the GOP Senate candidate, instead of Ernest Avant, convicted murderer and KKK member. [Lynn Bartels]
· The third (and, soon to come, fourth) top editor resigns at USA Today. [Seth Sutel]

On Monday night at sushi megaplex Megu, spies saw a cranky Martha Stewart dining with friends — but what we didn't hear until last night was that one of those friends was none other than tabloid queen and American Media editorial director Bonnie Fuller.

The Jack Kelley fabrication/plagiarism scandal at USA Today may be taking more victims into its media suckhole — while the editor "resigned" "abruptly" on Tuesday, we hear other high-ups at the paper will follow her out the door shortly. Is executive editor Brian Gallagher the next to go?

The newspaper world shows its staggering commitment to equal opportunity: reports released this week say that the number of non-white newspaper employees has more than tripled since 1978. Think of it like this: in 1978, say a newspaper had 25 employees, and there was this one black guy that no one talked to. Now, 25 years later, there's still 25 employees but now the black guy has two friends: a wacky Latina chick and an Asian dude (who's probably gay anyway).

Seriously, we all need to get into this "trend-spotting" scam. Susan Saurage-Altenloh, a Houston-based consultant, gets paid big bucks by pitiful companies to cough up trends in "the younger generation." Here's what she claims the kids today are into:

· Is NYO's Anna Jane Grossman off to the New York Post, along with everyone else in the world? (Is the Post some sort of conceptual cult, where only people with three names are hired? Recent NYP converts include Jared Paul Stern and Elisa Lipsky-Karasz.) [Anonymous Outsider]
· Nightclub Avalon claims that Vanity Fair celebrity profiler George Wayne shook them down for first-class plane tickets in exchange for coverage. Wait, demanding favors for placement is bad? [Page Six]
· Editorial director of Playboy leaves after a year and a half in the job: reader complaints included "Not enough vulva" and "Big words bring pain." [Jon Fine]
· TBS will spend $50 million to rebrand itself as a "funny" network — but what's funny is that they actually have $50 mil. The lineup includes a Candace Bushnell show.
· The giant inflatable rat came to visit Dow Jones yesterday as the little elbow-patched and bespectacled WSJ workers protested. [Keith Kelly]

Apparently, some commies think that the only folks who can afford to work for free at a paper or magazine are descended from people who already have money, and that this skews media employment toward the rich and white. (Rich people get internships, then the interns get the jobs.) What, some interns need money to eat? I always figured our interns were like cancerous bromeliads, gleaning sustenance solely from the smoky air of our offices.

Rumor on the street is that film critic Elvis Mitchell may be leaving the New York Times: is it because the NYT has decided to appoint A.O. Scott chief movie critic?

· Has New York editor Adam Moss begun a holy war with the NYT magazine? New York's forthcoming profile on the NYT's WMD-sniffing reporter Judith Miller may cause a super-fun rupture in media space-time. [Tom Scocca]
· As the editor of USA Today resigns in fabrication scandal, is this just the beginning of the purge at the McPaper? [Howard Kurtz]
· The new book proposal by retired Timesman Howell Raines should hit the publishers' offices in the next 10 days. [Keith Kelly]

As New York Post gossipeuse Cindy Adams rides the high-falutin' Queen Mary 2 across the Atlantic (or somewhere — she's on the fucking boat for days and we haven't been paying attention), fellow Postette Andrea Peyser takes a ride on the Staten Island Ferry and disses the ocean liner:

· The New York Times will consolidate Fashions of the Times, Style & Entertaining, Men s Fashions and Home Design special segments into an easily ignored eight-times-a-year magazine; the NYT's Michael Boodro, the man behind that sort of magic, will depart for the plush comforts of Elle Decor. [Rosemary Feitelberg]
· High Times is still in print after 30 years, but may be going the way of Vanity Fair: obsessed with the Bush regime and smoking in the offices. [Peter Carlson]

We hear that Daily News gossip-boy Lloyd Grove is finally losing his trusty associate, Elisa Lipsky-Karasz — as we've hinted for weeks now. Not only that, but the rumor is that she's being snatched up by that other tabloid. Gasp! We're not completely sure what she'll be doing at the Post — she definitely won't be a Page Sixer — but we're hoping that, free from Lloyd's dark cave, the glamazon will blossom. We also hope the Post throws in some free therapy to treat what is surely a severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder.

There's some conflict surrounding some v. v. crucial, earth-shattering issues today: