We couldn't go see Slate critic Jack Shafer speak last night at the Columbia Journalism School — we break out in hives every time we come within five blocks of a journalism epicenter. (They're always talking about "multiple sourcing" and other stupid crap. Drop out and start plagiarizing at newspapers already, my young friends.) But, of course, our spies were front and center as Shafer fumbled with this new-fangled thing called "Powerpoint."

Our spy says: "Since Shafer's been named a 'Hearst New Media Fellow,' he said, he is proud to join the ranks of illustrious writers who have been on the Hearst payroll, like, for example, Benito Mussolini and Adolph Hitler. Apparently, Mussolini and Hitler both filed columns for Hearst in the 30s. Supposedly Mussolini got paid the equivalent of $13,000 per piece for stories with headlines like 'Mussolini Goes To Farm To See How Masses Work.'"

Ah, the more things change, the more they stay the same. (Doh! Godwin's Law, my bad.)

Continuing on: "One person asked whether he felt he should call people to get their comments before critiquing their work. He said absolutely not. He's a critic/analyst, not a reporter." I'm sure the J-School kids are still crying about this into their cafeteria trays of slop this afternoon.

There was much to-do about Shafer's obsession with taking down Judith Miller, the government-WMD—in-Iraq story-promoting NYT reporter. "Shafer said, 'I think I'm going to end up marrying Judith Miller...' His wife was in the front row which made the comment both funny and strangely awkward."

Shafer also gave a history of some thing called "the internet." Evidently some fellow calling himself "Matt Drudge" is breaking some story about an intern named Monica something having sex with the President? Our spy couldn't keep up — it all sounded so revolutionary and new that Shafer could hardly be heard over the hubbub in the auditorium.