And the winner of the "Write a Thomas Friedman Column" Contest goes to...Thomas Friedman!

New York Magazine's (and Gawker alum) Elizabeth Spiers finally weighs in with the expert analysis we've been waiting for about Vanity Fair's Graydon Carter and his mistress, Hollywood.

The chattering class gave their gums an extra workout today with the discovery that the New York Observer ripped off a "Write a Thomas Friedman Column" piece that the literary website McSweeney's already did. A reader offers a clarification of the NYO piece:

In response to the kerfuffle over the New Yorker magazine's Censored Art Exhibition, Ted Riederer, one of the invited artists unceremoniously asked to remove his piece after setting it up, writes Gawker to tell his side of the story. I'm guessing he didn't receive a kill fee for lugging down his dirt and bones from Boston.

1. GraydonGate, round three! LA Times writer Michael Cieply set to run another expose on Carter s financial prostitution. Every news organization outside of NY and LA set to report on a war in the Middle East. [NYP]
2. Ashton Kutcher said to be worried about illicit pictures of him and Demi Moore being published. Illicit pictures? Um, sorry dude "The Butterfly Effect" has been out for a while now. [NYP]
3. And we thought it was just the actual stars who were idiots: two Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow cohorts decide to name their daughters "Apple" too. Well done your kids will totally thank you for it when they gouge their eyeballs out with kitchen utensils after all those backroom "bobbing" jokes. [NYDN last item]
4. "Entertainment Tonight" leatherface jackass Steven Cojocaru is bringing "Christmas in May" to the masses at Soho Bloomingdale's by giving out free makeovers. Our faith in Santa will be restored only if he gets hit by a bus en route. [NYP]
5. Burglary at Cannes: unfortunately, Quentin Tarantino's ego said to be untouched. [Page Six]

You're still following the investigation of Vanity Fair Editor Graydon Carter's "Whoring Makes Strange Bedfellows" scandal, right? If you need a refresher there's always our Idiot's Guide to GraydonGate and if you want the scoop no one else has there's FameTracker's list of his dozen dirty deeds. Today, we present a comic stripper's view of the wheelings, dealings, and stealings of an incestuous world gone mad with lovable characters like Michael Moore, Harvey Weinstein, and the man at the center of this all, Graydon himself.

Yesterday afternoon, Gawker's Special Events Reporter Briyah and Photographer Eliot spent their lunch hour covering the 63rd Annual Peabody Awards which honor excellence in electronic media. Suffice to say, Matt Drudge was not in attendance. Their full report begins with a plate of bread slices.

Jesse Oxfeld of Mediabistro interviews Daily News gossip columnist, Lloyd Grove who's been kicking up dust clouds in these parts for about eight months now. He's a bit ticked "Page Six" is seen as the gossip column in town and he'd like nothing more than to spend his time "sitting at the Stork Club, smoking thin cigars and terrorizing senator's sons."

On the catastrophic horror of rising media consumption Ms. Jane Lacher, of MediaVest says it best with one of the most suburban-mom analogies this side of "You're just like your father!" How could she downplay this serious issue?

LasagnaFarm looks at a recent Q&A with a squid scientist on the New Yorker's Online Only section and compares the giant squid, mysterious creature of the deep with the obvious creature of the shallow: media rumors.

1. While Graydon Carter gets the double-fisted attack from the NYTimes and LA Times, Jack Shafer defends him because evidently someone had to. Up until now I didn't know there was actual journalism in Vanity Fair to be ethical about. I only read it for the ads.
2. Alexandra Wolfe adds to the list of New York Observer defectors with a move to the Wall Street Journal's weekend section. Is there no relief in sight for the publication that's quickly becoming the Peach Step-Daughter? [FWD]
3. In a moment to breathe between press runs, Morgan Spurlock of "Super Size Me" fame announces a book deal on his Indiewire blog today.

Maer Roshan's Radar Magazine might finally have a serious backer. We received a tip last night it would be an "international woman of mystery" and AdAdge reports today that it is former Moroccan national Maria Oufkir leading a French investor group willing to pony up $15 million to get the presses running again. There's a signed term sheet (at one point he had two) which is not binding so don't count those French hens just yet.

Last week we reported on the New Yorker Magazine's "Censored" art exhibition and the removal of certain pieces. C.S. Ledbetter III, the New Yorker Gallery's curator writes us to set the record straight. I wouldn't know "aesthetic coherence" from a hole in the wall but apparently it's not "censorship" when it's called "curation."

1. So who the hell is this Graydon guy you won't shut up about?
Since July 1992, Graydon Carter has edited Vanity Fair. Formerly, he edited the New York Observer and, famously, Spy. He's — shh! — Canadian. He looks like a Dr. Seuss character.

· Vanity Fair writer Dominick Dunne — still the target of an $11 mil libel suit brought by former Congressman Gary Condit — is getting hosed by a crazed source. She claims he paid her hush money and encouraged her to lie for stories. Yeesh: what isn't going wrong at Vanity Fair? It's starting to look suspiciously like a conspiracy, isn't it? [Keith Kelly]
· How come Women's Wear Daily is the only paper in the world that can identify a plagiarized story before it hits the presses? [Keith Kelly]
· Fox introduces stupid reality show in which straight men must experience "the heterosexual male's worst nightmare" by pretending to be gay. Not sure what the gays are so worked up about. Surprise! Straight men really don't want to be gay. [Lisa de Moraes]

The LA Times article about VF editor Graydon Carter has hit — it looks suspiciously in particular at Carter's ties with Miramax's Weinstein brothers.

Harper's Bazaar editor Glenda Bailey has been getting dragged through Page Six these days. It's not that we think Glenda's a cuddly kitty-cat or anything — far from it. But where's all this dish coming from? A former co-worker has a suspect in mind: one of Glenda's recently dis-employed editors. Says the source:

The last of the New York Times in-house meditation classes is next Tuesday — they're described as "Meditation for the super busy: Relax In A New York Minute." I bet they'd get a better draw if they screened the Olsen Twins' "New York Minute" instead.

In 2003 — a year-and-a-half after the movie was released — Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter received a nice, suspiciously round $100,000 fee for suggesting that the book "A Beautiful Mind" be made into a movie, claims the NYT. "Beautiful Mind" was produced by Brian Grazer and Ron Howard, who've been on the VF annual list of power brokers two years in a row and "whose other projects have received attentive coverage in the magazine," as the NYT delicately puts it.

Nikki Finke, LA Weekly's official Graydon Carter stalker, says the New York Times is rushing to put out a story on GraydonGate — definitely on Friday, she claims. (What did Graydon allegedly do again? Now we can't even remember.)