The new issue of Star is slowly seeping into our blood; within its shiny pages one can find an extremely useful comparison of passages in Bill O'Reilly's 1998 crime novel, Those Who Trespass, to the alleged language he used while getting dirty with America's favorite plaintiff. After the jump, a handy chart in which we find just how far one can carry that Thai hooker fantasy.

In light of the sexy scandal surrounding Bill O'Reilly (and by "sexy," we mean nauseatingly gross), the Observer explores the frequency of sexual harassment in television newsrooms. What they come up with sounds like an average, offensively libidinous work environment:

You've got to hand it to Andrea Mackris: why settle for $2 million in hush money when what you really want is $60 million? When Fox News' irascible lothario, Bill O'Reilly, learned that former producer Mackris was looking to sue the proverbial pants off of him, Fox offered Mackris $2 million to disappear. Are they kidding? $2 million? That's Manhattan Monopoly money and will barely buy you a condo with fabulous furnishings—which is, of course, the very least she deserves after helping that scary man climax.
O'Reilly Drama's $2M Tale [NYDN]

Somewhere in the distance, we can hear the faint sounds of a CNN copy editor being lashed with a cat-o-nine tails and a publicist for ABC hanging herself.

Lori Feldt, former nanny to Vogue editrix Anna Wintour, settled a lawsuit with the Vogue editrix today for $2.21 million. Feldt claimed that she suffered severe nerve damage when inhaling fumes from paint thinner, which was used to clean red paint thrown on Wintour's sidewalk by anti-fur activists (how predictable). Working for Anna Wintour is obviously a threat to one's health—forced starvation will definitely take its toll on your hair and teeth—but now it's official: being around the woman can cause brain damage. One look around the Conde Nast cafeteria and you could pretty much deduce the same, but at least we now have legal validation on our side.
Anna Wintour's Former Nanny Gets $2.21 Million Settlement [AP]
Related: We called it all the way back in May: Anna Wintour: Worker's Comp

There's nothing better than a gossipy queen during an election year, you know? Village Voice columnist and social fixture Michael Musto gets his rant on:

No one should be particularly surprised by the latest spin in the scandal involving Fox News pervhound Bill O'Reilly, in which restaurateur Matthew Paratore has given a sworn statement revealing that phone sex-scarred Andrea Mackris was a willing participant in the dirty talk because she "loved the guy" (the range of possible human emotion continues to amaze us). Mackris' lawyers, of course, claim Paratore is protecting his bruised ego, as Mackris wouldn't put out for the North West owner. And then, to top this increasingly madcap situation, the tabloids have yet to use "falafel" in a punny headline. Will wonders never cease?

Admittedly, we're a bit sick in the head, thus we really won't drop this whole Return of Radar screenplay we've been pitching since yesterday morning. We also won't stop obsessing over the details of Radar's financial deal; today the Times reports that financial backers Zuckerman and Epstein have fronted a solid $25 million. Not a bad investment for Maer Roshan's pet project, which only ran two issues in its previous life. The Times also makes note of Radar's troubles with its latest return:

We're usually so excited to get our hands on our copy of Entertainment Weekly—there's something comforting in its large, colorful, My First Magazine headline fonts, and the smiling face of the cover-earning newsmaker makes us think everything's going to be OK. But when we delved deeper into this week's offering, the annual Power Issue, we were shocked by an unexpected development.

Does Kate Winslet have a dieting problem? Or is she just impatient? And who will get fired first, Yahoo or AP staffers?
Winslet Scoffs At Rumors About Her Wait [AP]

So, let's reiterate what we've learned today: Maer Roshan's suffocatingly adored Radar magazine is back from the dead, thanks to a major financing deal. And thanks to a slow-moving Google cache, we're learning that Daily News owner Mort Zuckerman and Wall Street financier Jeffrey Epstein are behind the magazine's rebirth. We're betting one could look for the publication to be on stands at some point in 2005...but only God (if even) knows when, exactly.

We promised to rummage through Maer Roshan's personal papers to uncover the mystery of defunct Radar magazine's financial backer and impending resurrection. We're thinking (just THINKING, mind you, and you know how bad we are at that) that there was someone who was less than thrilled when they didn't get to purchase New York magazine. And maybe, just maybe, this person was a big Maer Roshan fan? And perhaps this new investor has at least $20 million in media money to play with?

In a bizarre twist that cannot possibly construed as self-promotion, online newsletter Manhattan User's Guide interviews its publisher, Charlie Suisman. Suisman worked at Zagat's in 2000 and has some choice opinions about the "indispensible" restaurant guide:

Speaking from experience, we're sure.
Drudge Report

It's only 10 AM and we're all atwitter, as we've just received word that Maer Roshan's shortlived (but much-hyped and adored in those congested, ass-fucking media circles) monthly magazine, Radar, has found a financial backer and plans to resuscitate itself. The backer has not yet been revealed, but fear not—we'll be spending today looking through Roshan's bank statements until we can correctly name the Afghan warlord financially responsible for the mag's return.
Defunct 'Radar' Magazine Plans To Publish Again [AdAge]

Times movie industry reporter Sharon Waxman continues to piss off I [Heart] Huckabees director David O. Russell; the two came to blows earlier when Waxman ran a less-than-flattering profile of the eccentric director in the paper. (Later, Russell threw poor Times "gossip" legger Lily Koppel out of a Q&A session, presumably because he was still a bit bruised from Waxman's write-up.) Now Russell is denying Waxman permission to use his image for her upcoming book and had his lawyers call the writer to reiterate. Waxman, always the professional, responded with a kindly email: "I think you'll regret your nasty behavior when you read the book. But that'll be way late in the day." Whoa, thinly-veiled threats from Times reporters? It's only Monday and the week is already tasting delicious!
Times Writer Warns Director [NYT]

Attention all Wenner Media employees! We know you don't read your company emails, so we'll do it for you and remind you that, should you be so inclined, you can totally take the day off from your duties at Rolling Stone and US Weekly on November 2nd under the guise of "election day activities." You know, activities like getting hammered on Monday night and watching Dawson's Creek reruns all day on Tuesday:

We're not going to draw attention to the following because we're petty. It's really because we think Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby needs to update her profile for JDate, the illustrious dating hub for Jewish singles. We think she might be giving away a bit too much information:

Just when things couldn't get any uglier for Bill O'Reilly, long-winded Vanity Fair writer and nouveau blogger James Wolcott jumps on his back with some fighting words:

Women's Wear Daily runs a list of media types "to watch" and, once we got over not making the list (always a bridesmaid, never a bride), we noticed that frosty Vogue editor Anna Wintour seems to have warmed ever-so slightly. Mind you, it's only in reference to her evil spawn, Teen Vogue editrix Amy Astley, but Wintour still says, "Amy has a very original point of view. I ve seen how well she s managed people she s strong when she needs to be strong... and people in and out of the industry adore her." You heard it here first: Anna gets all soft for her protegé. Next thing you know, there'll be fat people in Vogue.
Ones To Watch [WWD]